Monty Python Scripts

VOICE OVER

John Cleese (with American Accent)

BICYCLE REPAIR MAN

Michael Palin

SUPERMAN ONE

John Cleese

SUPERMAN TWO

Graham Chapman

SUPERMAN THREE

Terry Jones

The sketch:

Voiceover: This man is no ordinary man. This is Mr. H G Superman. To all appearances, he looks like any other law-abiding citizen. But Mr F G Superman has a secret identity. When trouble strikes at any time, at any place, he is ready to become... BICICLE REPAIR MAN!

Superboy: Hey, there's a bicycle broken, up the road.

Superboy:

Superman One: If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!

Superboy: Yes, wait, I think I know where I can find him. Look over there!

Caption: FLASH!

All Supermen: Bicycle Repair Man, but how?

Superman One: Oh look... is it a stockbroker?

Superman Two: Is it a quantity Surveyor?

Superman Three: Is it a church warden?

All Supermen: NO! It's Bicycle Repair Man!

Superman: MY! Bicycle Repair Man! Thank goodness you've come! Look!

Caption: Clink! Screw! Bend! Inflate! Alter Saddle!

Superman Two: Why, he's mending it with his own hands!

Superman One: See how he uses a spanner to tighten that nut!

Superman: Oh, Oh Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?

Bicycle Repair Man: Oh, you don't need to guv. It's all in a days work for... Bicycle Repair Man!

All Supermen: Our Hero!

Voiceover: Yes! whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by international communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!