Monty Python Scripts

BARBER (LUMBERJACK)

Michael Palin

MOUNTIES

Fred Tomlinson Singers

The sketch:

BARBER:

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.

I sleep all night. I work all day.

MOUNTIES:

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.

I go to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays I go shoppin'

And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES:

He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.

He goes to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays he goes shopping

And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I skip and jump.

I like to press wild flowers.

I put on women's clothing

And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:

He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.

He likes to press wild flowers.

He puts on women's clothing

And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.

He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:

I cut down trees. I wear high heels,

Suspendies, and a bra.

I wish I'd been a girlie,

Just like my dear Mama.

BARBER and MOUNTIES:

I (He) cut(s) down trees. I (He) wear(s) high heels,

Suspendies, and a bra?!

BARBER:

I wish I'd been a girlie,

Just like my dear Mama!