(Caption on Screen : 'THE ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA GOES TO THE BATHROOM'. Cut to
bathroom door, outside. Man knocks on door.)
Man: Have you finished in there yet?
(From inside comes a burst of the Tchaikovsky piano concerto. He tuts. Cut to letter and voice over.)
First Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this show has
already taken. Why do we never hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's wonderful jump in
1964? Yours etc., Ken Voyeur.
(Stock film of Mary Bignall's winning jump at the Rome Olympics. Letter and voice over.)
Second Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious athletic turn this show has now
taken. Why can't we hear more about Ihe human body? There is nothing embarrassing or nasty about the human
body except for the intestines and bits of the bottom.
(We see another letter and another voice over.)
Third Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the letters on your programme. They are
clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc.,
William Knickers.
(Stock film of the whole of an orchestra finishing an orchestral item. When they finish playing we hear the
sound of fiushing.)