Stock Exchange Report
The cast:
- VOICE OVER
-
John Cleese
- MAN
-
Eric Idle
The sketch:
- (Animated sketch, leading us into a studio set; a man is sitting in
front of a non-animated (but cheap) graph labelled 'Stock Market
Report'.)
Voice Over: And now the Stock Market Report by Exchange
Telegraph.
Man: Trading was crisp at the start of the day with some brisk
business on the floor. Rubber hardened and string remained
confident. Little bits of tin consolidated although biscuits sank after
an early gain and stools remained anonymous. Armpits rallied well
after a poor start. Nipples rose dramatically during the morning but
had declined by mid-afternoon, while teeth clenched and buttocks
remained firm. Small' dark furry things increased severely on the
floor, whilst rude jellies wobbled up and down, and bounced
against rising thighs which had spread to all parts of the country by
mid-afternoon. After lunch naughty things dipped sharply forcing
giblets upwards with the nicky nacky noo. Ting tang tong rankled
dithely, little tipples pooped and poppy things went pong! Gibble
gabble gobble went the rickety rackety roo and ... (a bucketful of
water descends on him)
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