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| Untitled Daily Column Project |
| -o- Sunday March 28th 2004 -o- Introduction Well here I go. The first column. And it'll be updated every single day... or at least i'll try to. In this space i'll probably say some stuff, do some cussing, bash the Chicago Cubs and probably fill it up with mostly crude filler material and inane lists of shit that makes no sense. Also appearing at the top of every entry (starting April 5th) will be the logos (past or present) of the Cubs & White Sox and their opponents of the day with the final score. But you all shall be warned. I will say some pretty offensive stuff and i'll rant and rave like a 3 year old and at times i'll get political and just plain crude. Inspiration for this column can be found here: http://chompy.urizone.net/ "You start a conversation you can't even finish it. You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything. When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed. Say something once, why say it again?" ~Psycho Killer by Talking Heads You all have been warned. "Yeah! Fuck that fucking shit fucking shitfucker. -o- Cubs suck such massive dick. -o- Monday March 29th 2004 -o- Steriods haha WOW what a terrible entry! Hope ya saw it, Mike, 'cause it's never coming back up again! haha! I'll fill something else in there. (heh I'll save the King of the Hill spoof...reading only the 1st part of a story is like only watching the 1st ten minutes of a tv show. it'll be completed at a later time. Ah yes, tomorrow is the Bullshit Opening Day for baseball... A bullshit corporate-sponsored event... 19 hours of plane travel from Florida to Tokyo, Japan where the New York Yankees will play the Tampa Bay Devil Rays for two games to start off the season & two exhibition games against Japanese baseball teams. (btw the Yankees suck, are ruining the game of baseball and Yankee's fans are stupid, arrogant sons of bitches that should all be punched in the neck). Yankee's fans should really shut their fucking mouth. They really should because no one gives a god damn what they have to say. Bunch of fucking spoiled jumping band wagoners. Anyways, here's something I wrote on this back on 12-20-03 on this subject: "Not this shit again. What ever happened to the tradition of the 1st game of the year being played in Cincinnati, which they did for like 100 years. It's not like baseball is dying in Japan or anything. It's all about money. MLB doesn't care about tradition anymore, it's always about useless expansion, selling as many Yankees caps as possible, and putting stupid teams in places like Europe, San Juan, Mexico, etc. Are Japanese or Australian baseball teams playing any of their games here? Or any European regular season cricket or soccer games here? Hell no. Another lovely 5 a.m. local start. MLB assholes." And where the hell has my favorite tv commercial been? "If you want a fresher house, raise your paw! *meow!* If you want a fresher house, raise your paw! *meow!* If you want a fresher house, don't sit around and grouse If you want a fresher house, raise your paw! *meow* *meow!* " Oh yeah, one of my favorite baseball topics: Steroids. Here's my pledge: "it's real simple, Player's Union. either accept tougher steroid testing or i refuse to attend any more games or buy any more merchandise. I refuse to support a sport that allows cheating and allows players to take illegal drugs (the Union is not above the law) and the integrity of the game is being compromised." Oh, and I'd also like to announce that I'm the winner in my group's ESPN NCAA tournament. Way to go me! Yeah! yeah... total pure bullshit luck.. just lucky-ass picks. -o- Tuesday March 30th 2004 -o- Cheeseburger in paradise I don't have much to say, so I'll just start typing stuff. Today for lunch I had a super juicy 1/4 pound cheeseburger with everything on it w/ some crispy long thick fries from this place near downtown called Nicky's. It was most delicious. Not bad for $4 w/ tax. The only problem, is that it's a very popular place, and it's one of those crowded places you really can't go to between 11:30am-1:30pm. Nicky's is this place that's been around for probably at least 10 years (I last went there to that location when it was a Pizza Hut when I was in elementary school, and I was getting my free individual cheese and sausage pizza for my "Book It!" program.) but I always keep forgetting about the place (since Arby's, Long John Silvers, White Castle, Wendy's, Taco Hell always seem to come first to mind). But they have a huge menu, full of burgers, sandwiches, gyros, tons of sides, soups, salads, shakes...everything. I look forward to making many more trips there. Now to begin dissecting the ABC Tuesday night comedies I watched last night. "I'm With Her" - this show proves that all movie stars are big phonies and their agents / friends are nothing but snotty snobs who live in their own fake fantasy Hollywood world. And the theme song to this show is the gayest I've ever heard. The band who played that song should be ashamed of themselves and should be castrated at once. I just went to the show's section at www.tvtome.com and apparently the show is this: "Writer Chris Henchy's real life marriage to Brooke Shields is the inspiration for this fresh romantic comedy" Last time I checked, who the hell cares about Brooke Shields? Exactly. Next. "According To Jim" - Oh Mr. Jim, why must you always take your shirt off? But last night's episode, you did not. But the take-your-shirt-off quota was met last night with Andy. Moral of the episode? Andy is a dumbass that passes more as a frat boy than a Harvard grad (reeeeal believable, writers) "It's All Relative" - This show just moved to this night & time. About some Boston Conservative Catholic's son dates a prissy, dinky blonde daughter who's parents are two extremely sssssssuper gay homosssssexual men! They're gay, they're Liberal, they're lispy, one's a school teacher, they know their fashion and they're just both fabuloussssssss! (not really) Moral of last night's episode? All homosexual men in Boston who go camping with straight guys for a bachelor party featuring a stripper dressed as a forest ranger always bring fine china, fancy prepared food with propane tanks and battery powered socks. Moral of today's daily column? TV sitcoms are nongermane, insipid and hollow. -o- Wednesday March 31th 2004 -o- blah Nothing to say, nothing to do. Another great entry. Today I entered the Cubs online Lottery to win the right to purchase the new "Dugout Seats" at Wrigley Field. Why did I do it? I don't know. Prices range from type of game from $50 to $100 to $250. If I somehow actually won (which I can't because I already won something in my lifetime, a crappy book in 5th grade that I eventually ripped in half and threw into the trash) so due to the law of averages I cannot not beat the one in 3 million odds. And if I do win it, i'll scalp them and make a nice profit. Cha-ching! |
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