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| > Sunday April 1st, 2007 < �The price of ginger has caused us to relocate.� Alright, here we go again. The Untitled Daily Column Project is back and it still has no name. Opening Day is tomorrow, and I�ll have my baseball picks up shortly. A few thoughts on this season: I have no idea who will win the World Series. The N.L. East is up for either the Mets or Phillies, the Central is so wide open the Milwaukee Brewers could win it, and the West is the usual borefest. The A.L. East will be for the nth time Red Sox vs Yankees. The theory going around is that the A.L. Central is going to have 4 first place teams in it. However, Minnesota lost two starting pitchers, Cleveland has like no bullpen or solid starter past the # 2, and the Tigers will inevitably be strained with tired and overused arms like last season�s White Sox, and Kenny Rogers will miss at least half the season. So basically, it�s the White Sox division to lose, and if people, especially the starting pitching and especially Mark Buehrle start tanking, then the Sox will finish either 3rd or 4th. I didn�t even bat an eyelash when Ozzie Guillen said he wanted Carlos Zambrano in a Sox uniform next season. Completely unrealistic, the Sox will never give out a contract for more than 3 years and they refuse to pay free agent pitchers (it�s all cheap and young from here out). Suffice to say, I wasn�t too thrilled of trading Freddy Garcia over the Winter, but apparently his velocity is still down and Kenny pulled a turd-on-your-face trade with the Phillies, and luck have it, the Phillies play in the most homer-friendly park. I�m still pretty pissed off about the McCarthy trade with Texas, turns out the Sox didn�t like his �attitude� and other stupid shit. Well shit, if I was a starting pitcher and I got stuck in the bullpen while a crappy pitcher like Javier Vazquez pitched in my place, I�d be pissed off too. I�ll tell you about the White Sox: if you don�t get along and kiss their asses no matter how big of a jerk or how stupid they are or how warped their being of logic is, you won�t be on the team, no matter how good you are or what you�ve done for them. Also on Monday, we�ll have a new NCAA Basketball Champion. I don�t ever recall the Championship being on the same day as Opening Day. Two major events shouldn�t happen on the same day. But anyways, the blog is back. In conclusion: Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Billy Madison: Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine. |
| > Monday April 2nd, 2007 < �Chicago Train Derailment Blues� And now, my 2007 picks: A.L. West ANA TEX OAK SEA N.L. West LAD SD SF ARI COL * - Wild Card ALDS: NYY over ANA in 3 ALWC: CHW over BOS in 5 ALCS: NYY over CHW in 6 NLDS: NYM over LAD in 4 NLWC: PHI over HOU in 3 NLCS: PHI over NYM in 6 WS: NYY over PHI in 6. What is my reasoning behind this? I don�t know. Quite honestly, I could reverse any of those combinations, and I�d say potentially anyone of those teams could win it all. All it takes is a hot streak. I�m wary of picking a Philly team to win it all, since they tend to choke the most. I say teams that are headed for a huge crash this year are: OAK, WAS, PIT, ATL, MIN and BAL. In a happy world, the Devil Rays would qualify for a Wild Card and the Brewers would win the N.L. Central, with the D-Backs suddenly taking charge of the N.L. West and the White Sox start off April with 19 wins. Of course, none of this will ever happen, and it will be the same boring shit again this year. Yeah the Yankee�s Opening Day pitcher Carl Pavano hasn�t pitched since mid �05 and you�d love to see that pitching staff completely fall apart, but that stupid lineup of theirs will keep them in every game all summer. And now, we bring our attention to this matter: 755. The once-thought unreachable and most prestigious of all sports records is now a mere fart away from being broken. Karma will be doing everything it can through the people involved to make sure this doesn�t happen (maybe a little help from Karma�s cousin, �Superstition�, and his sister, �Coincidence�). I can honestly say that if Bonds breaks that homerun record, we can officially burn the record book, because it will be completely useless & I will never believe a single record ever again nor will I ever defend a single stat ever again. And I hope that if you get the Extra Innings package, that you have Direct TV, otherwise you�re completely shit out of luck. Way to fuck your fans up the ass, MLB. |
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| A.L. Central
CHW DET CLE MIN KC N.L. Central HOU STL MIL CIN CHC PIT |
| A.L. East
NYY BOS * TOR TB BAL N.L. East PHI NYM * FLA ATL WAS |
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| Your daily dose of the absurd. |
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