| MUSICAL JOKES! |
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| What do you call a squashed insect? |
| A B flat!!! |
| Why couldn't the man open the piano? |
| What's the difference between a piano and a fish? |
| Because the keys were inside! |
| You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish! |
| AS YOU CAN TELL, I ONLY HAVE A SMALL AMOUNT OF JOKES. I NEED MORE! PLEASE E-MAIL ME WITH ANY MUSICAL JOKES THAT YOU KNOW. IF I USE YOUR JOKE, I WILL PERSONALLY THANK YOU ON THIS PAGE. THANKS! |
| An inexperienced musician who had just joined a cruise ship was having a very tough time trying to keep in time with the rest of the band. Finally the band leader said "Look, either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard! It's up to you ... either sync or swim!" |
| There was a young man playing piano in a bar, getting a few requests and some small tips. Towards the end of the night, a man walked up to him with a wad of notes, and asked him to play a jazz chord. So he played A maj7. "No, no!" said the man. "A jazz chord!" The pianist did some improvisation, using as many jazz chords as he could think of. But the man didn't like that either. "No, no, no. A jazz chord. You know - A jazz chord, to say, I love you..." |
| Many thanks to: Rachel, Melissa, KatDog, Colette, ~K.C~, Jason, Janine, "Joke Guy" and Lindy who told me these great musical jokes! :o) |
| A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy a lot of attention, and advice, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, in front of the whole orchestra he said "When a musician just can't handle his instrument, and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument and give him two sticks and make him a drummer!" A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section. "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor!!!" |
| How do you fix a broken tuba? |
| With a "tuba glue!" |
| Why wasn't the band recital shown on daytime TV? |
| Because of the sax and violins! |
| Why couldn't anyone find the famous composer? |
| Because he was Haydn! |
| What do you get if you cross a frog with Scottish music? Hopscotch! |
| What clothes do musicians wear? |
| CORDS! |
| How did the conductor brush his teeth? |
| With a tuba toothpaste! |