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A Survival Guide for Black Gay Youth

Why Am I Gay?

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From Chapter 1: What You Are Up Against

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    What a question! �Why am I gay,� is a question that every Gay person has probably asked themselves, many throughout their entire lives. The question of where homosexuality comes from plagues both heterosexuals and homosexuals alike, and the continuing animosity towards Gays derives from their lack of understanding of where our feelings come from. You are most likely dying to know, too, why you are Gay. Why, while the rest of your male classmates are drooling over and chasing behind girls, you take an interest in the boys. Or what was happening inside of you that day you saw a gorgeous guy and, unexplainably, you felt a tingling, or a drop at the pit of your stomach. What is it that makes you aroused when you think of a man�s round, bubble butt, creviced back, or smooth, sweaty abdomen?
     Well, the truth is, nobody knows. There is no existing data that points to why some people like members of the opposite sex and why some like members of the same. Some argue that it is an inborn trait, genetically passed on from parents to children. Others argue that is a result of the way that children are raised, that the environment influences sexual orientation. One study states that sexual orientation of a human being is determined within the first three years of their life, while the age at which lesbians, gays and bisexuals actually knew of their orientation ranged from 6 or 7-years-old to 40 or 50-years-old. Either way, there is no correct answer or theory that explains why we are the way we are. We just are.
     The affirmation of our sexual orientation � that is, firmly stating that we are Gay � also lies on an ever-moving continuum. There are times when, for example, a Gay man may say he�s Gay, and then over time, lose attraction to males, only to find after even more time, he is indeed attracted to males again. Conversely, there is a widely known surge of �heterosexual girls� who during adolescent engage in homosexual behaviors with other girls, but after years, claim that they have �grown out of it� and are now heterosexuals. Sexuality is a fluid entity of human life, and whether one is Gay, straight, bisexual, etc. is all based on what he or she identifies him/herself as. A man may have sex with other men frequently, but unless he submits to the label �Gay�, we cannot deem him as a Gay man.
     The fluidity of sexuality was best (in my opinion) researched by Alfred Kinsey. Regarding homosexuality, Kinsey introduced the Kinsey Scale, which shows the variance of homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality in humans. The range from complete heterosexuality to bisexuality to complete homosexuality led to the notion that most people possess some degree of homosexual urges, but that they suppress these urges for whatever reason.
     And so with that, I urge you to desert the endless search to find why you are gay, but rather, to address the issue of societal separation between straights and Gays. You could spend an eternity trying to locate the gene that turns you on to boys, or you could fight a lifetime to make it okay for you and that boy to hold hands without being the target of hate.

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