Chapter Sixteen: Initiating Plans of Great Proportions
Aragorn: We cross the lake at nightfall. We hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north.
Stevie: Sounds like fun. Hey, Pip, pass me some munchies!
Gimli: And this is supposed to be a better road? Just the simple task of getting through Emyn�
Stevie: Oh, Gimli! Be quiet. No one every listens to you anyway.
Gimli: So I noticed. (pouts) No one ever listens to the dwarf!
Stevie: They all will someday. Just you wait and see.
Legolas: (whispering to Aragorn) We should leave now.
Aragorn: No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for cover of darkness.
Legolas: It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near�..I feel it.
Merry: (drops some firewood and looks around) Where�s Frodo?
(Sam jumps up and looks around. He had been falling asleep and hadn�t noticed Frodo�s departure. Aragorn is looking around suspiciously when he notices that Boromir is nowhere to be seen. Stevie seems relatively indifferent about the fact that Frodo is missing, though she really knows where he is, and what is happening right around then. Inside her, nervousness and worry is blossoming over what she knows is yet to come. The other members of the Fellowship run off in different directions looking for Frodo, and Aragorn quickly pulls Stevie to the side.)
Aragorn: Do you have any idea where Boromir is?
Stevie: (shakes her head) He could be anywhere�.. Are you thinking what I think you are thinking?
Aragorn: Most likely. Harper is gone. Could she have just snuck off with him?
Stevie: I don�t know. Don�t worry we�ll find Frodo. I�m sure he�ll be just fine and dandy.
(They run off in search of him, and if things go as they should, Stevie knows where he�ll be. All that happens now depends on Harper.)
(We see Frodo walking around near the head of a giant statue. He appears to be thinking, when he notices the presence of another. He looks up and sees Boromir, who appears to be collecting firewood.)
Boromir: None of us should wander alone, you least of all. So much depends on you. Frodo? I know why you seek solitude. You suffer. I see it day by day. Are you sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo, other paths that we might take.
Frodo: I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart.
Boromir: Warning? Warning against what? We are all afraid Frodo. But to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have�..Don�t you see? This is madness.
Frodo: There is no other way.
Boromir: (becoming angry and upset) I ask only for the strength to defend my people! (chuck the firewood) If you would but lend me the ring�..
Frodo: (backs away) No!
Boromir: Why do you recoil? I am no thief!
Frodo: You are not yourself.
Boromir: What chance do you think you have? They will find you, they will take the ring, and you will beg for death before the end! (Starts walking towards him) It is not yours save by unhappy chance!
(Just as Boromir began to lunge at Frodo to steal the Ring, a figure launched itself from atop the broken statue. The figure knocks Boromir to the ground. We see the figure to be none other than Harper, trying her best to do her part of the plan. Infuriated, Boromir rolls onto his back to face his attacker. He doesn�t seem to register anything at the sight of Harper, seeing her only as an obstacle blocking his path towards taking the Ring.)
Harper: (yelling to Frodo while trying to pin Boromir) Frodo! You must go! Now!
(Frodo stands there for a moment, wondering if he should do something, but then nods his thanks, and runs off towards the campsite, leaving Harper to struggle with Boromir.)
Harper: If you won�t stop, than I have no other choice!
(Harper reaches over and grabs one of the larger pieces of firewood that Boromir had dropped earlier. During this time he had begun to get to his feet and head in the direction Frodo had run off in. Walking up behind him, she lifted the wood back and above her head, and swung, whacking Boromir in the back up the skull. With a thud, Boromir fell to the ground, unconscious.)
(At some random point in during the search, Aragorn had made his way up to the top of a giant hill. From there he could see above the trees and look at the lake. He searched the ruins around him desperately for Frodo, but all to no avail. It was then that the Uruks showed up. So Legolas was right after all. Raising his sword, and shouting the name of his ancestor, Elendil, he charged.)
(Merry and Pippin had been searching fervently for Frodo, but they had made no progress. All they had done was found that a crapload of Uruks were running towards them, so, what do our pint-sized heroes do? They hide in a bush. Yeah, you heard me. A bush. Just sort of chilling and hoping that they would go unseen until they noticed Frodo run by and hide behind the tree directly across from them. Convenient, eh?)
Pippin: (whispering) Frodo! Over here! Hide here, quick!
(Frodo just shakes his head and looks at them strangely. Pippin turns to Merry with a look of confusion upon his face.)
Pippin: Merry, what�s he doing?
Merry: (pauses for a moment) He�s leaving!
Pippin: No!
(Pippin jumps out of the bush, and Merry follows him. Determined to help Frodo, Pippin starts hoping and hollering at the Uruks, trying to get their attention. Merry follows suit.)
Pippin: (waving his arms around and yelling) Hey! Hey you!
Merry: Hey! Over here!
(The Hobbits make a run for it the moment they notice that they have the Uruk�s attention. They get pretty far to, before they are required to stop and fight. They manage to kill many an Uruk, but soon they are overwhelmed, and the Uruks take them and carry them off.)
(Frodo after several minutes, Frodo made it to the shore. He stopped for a minute to gather himself together emotionally and then went to go snag a boat. Much to his surprise, Stevie is standing there waiting for him.)
Stevie: Hey Frodo.
Frodo: Stevie. I�
Stevie: I know what happened. Don�t ask me how or why or any of that stuff. You need to leave. You need to go to Mordor.
Frodo: I�I know�..I�m just�I�m just frightened�..
Stevie: And well you should be. But fear not, you do not go alone!
Frodo: You can�t come with me! It�s too dangerous!
Stevie: I�m not going with you! But Sam is. Oh, look, here he is now. Right on time!
(Just then, Sam randomly pops out of the woods and spots Frodo and Stevie. He runs over.)
Sam: Oh Mr. Frodo! Are you alright? Did that Boromir hurt you?
Frodo: (forces a smile) No, Sam, I am fine.
Stevie: You must take Sam with you. Don�t go and question me now. Just do it.
Sam: I�m going with you anyway, whether you like it or not!
Frodo: If you say so. Come on Sam. Oh, and Stevie?
Stevie: Yeah, Frodo?
Frodo: Tell the others�..that I said goodbye. And take care of them for me. And if you ever see Kit again�..Tell her that I love her.
Stevie: (smiles) Don�t worry. I will. Now go. Be safe and be careful. I have plans when I see you again.
(Frodo and Sam get in the boat and start rowing across the lake. Stevie seems satisfied with her job-well-done, but can�t seem to shake the feeling that though in doing what she was supposed to, she just sent someone very dear to her into grave danger. But that�s probably because she just did. Shrugging, she went back into the woods to Look for Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas, hoping they had killed all the Uruks they had to kill so they could get going.)
(Aragorn is standing, looking around at the Uruks that lay dead at his feet. Just then, Gimli and Legolas show up from out of the trees. They just stand around looking before Aragorn finally speaks up.)
Aragorn: Have either of you seen the others?
Gimli: I haven�t.
Legolas: Either have I. Do you think they are alright?
Stevie: We need to leave.
(The others all turn around and gawk at Stevie, who had just snuck op behind them. They also seem somewhat surprised at what she just said.)
Aragorn: What about the others? We must find them first!
Stevie: There are no others! Merry and Pippin were taken by orcs. Frodo and Sam have left. They are heading for Mordor.
Legolas: And what of Harper and Boromir? What has fate done with them?
Stevie: I have left Harper to her own devices. She will take care of Boromir. I know that they are safe, but now we must go.
Gimli: So the Fellowship is done for. What where are we to go?
Aragorn: Frodo is beyond our reach now. We must go and find Merry and Pippin. We can still save them from their uncertain fate.
Stevie: Yeah, exactly. Which is why we must leave now! We have to follow them. The longer we wait the further ahead of us they get.
(Stevie walks back to a tree behind them and brings over some thing that had been left at the campsite.)
Stevie: These are some things I knew we could use. I left the rest behind. If Harper is still around, she may find use of it.
Aragorn: Well, then let us go!
(The four run off through the woods with new found purpose and some worry. They had failed where Frodo was concerned, Kit and Van were no where to be found, and Harper and Boromir left behind. Merry and Pippin gave them one last change to change things. This is why they had to save them. So, they�re running, running, running, like constipated Weiner dogs!)
(We now see a very tired looking Harper dragging an unconscious Boromir back to the campsite alongside the river. She sets his head down gently, and plops down on the ground, staring first at him, then at the lake, then at the deserted campsite.)
Harper: (sighs) Why did I have to freaking fall in love with you, hmm, Cap�n Crunch? I mean, look at you! You�re Cap�n Crunch! Well, you could be the Kentucky Fried Chicken Dude�..ahhh, I�m going insane!
(She gets up, and starts sifting through the crap around the campsite. He grabs her small pack, and her sword, Brone. She throws them over near one of the boats. She grabs hers and Boromir�s blankets, his pack, sword, and shield, and checks to make sure that his stupid horn is still on him.)
Harper: (shakes her head) All guys need is their crap! And it�s freaking everywhere. (looks over to Boromir who is still unconscious) You know, Cap�n Crunch, next to orcs, males are the most disgusting race on the entire planet. And it�s not just here in Middle-earth either! Males are universally unsanitary! Ugh�..
(She takes the blankets and lies one on the bottom of an empty boat. She goes over to Boromir, who is still unconscious, and removes the Horn from his side, and begins to remove his billion and a half different layers of clothing until he is left in his breeches and a simple tunic. She tucks her arms underneath his shoulders and starts dragging him over to the boat. She manages to set him in, and using one of his many layers of clothing, she rolls it up and sticks it underneath his head.)
Harper: You are so much lighter when you aren�t wearing enough clothes to clothe a third world country. Geez! People are so stupid.
(She takes his cloak which he received from Lothlorien, and covers him with it, along with another on of their blankets. She packs all of their belongings, swords, packs, food, shield, and horn into the boat, and pushes it into the water.)
Harper: You know, if I hadn�t just put all of my crap in here, and if I didn�t love you so freaking much, I�d send you over the freaking waterfall. Come on. Let�s go.
(She pushes the boat in far enough so that she is in water that comes just below her waist. From there she starts pushing the boat back upstream.)
Harper: So all is quiet on the western front. That�s great. I�m gonna have all holy hell when you come to.
