During the course of my conversation with Deana we discussed the subject of marriage. We came to a solid theory that one main reason why people get married and divorced as often as they do in this country is that of acting on emotions. In other words, I believe that many young couples are so caught up with how they feel at the moment. They are so flooded with the newness of their relationship that they tend not to look seriously enough at what the future holds. They may be so convinced at that time that they will always feel this way for each other, so much in fact, that they do not realize that someday the fire may flicker. That without a good basis and proper fuel, it may dwindle and die altogether. It is a very sad thing when that happens.
It all makes me think of reasons why we grow to like or love a person. Many of our conceptions about a person are formed when we first meet them. Our first impressions. We see a general, overall personality profile which we now have to use for future reference for that person. If the personalities are compatible then a relationship is created. (be it intimate or mere friendship) A problem with this is that many people (especially when attempting to impress another person) tend to only show what they want the other to see. They are usually on their best behavior. This results in an incomplete picture of that person. So it is reasonable to say that the basis is also not complete.
Later, when in a relationship or even married, the suppressed personality traits will come back into play as the people feel more comfortable with each other. Then these little �things� that he or she never did before become an obstacle. And enough of them will cause unpleasant results.
I have personally always believed in long engagements. (at least a year) And looking at the rate of divorce facts and the conclusions I have come to, makes me realize that it is my hope that people could learn to better communicate and simply be honest with each other from the start. It would seem to avoid a lot of problems.
~FIN
