I suppose that defining my concept of the four fundamental facets of being is as good as any a place to begin. In actuality it may be that there are only three or perhaps even only two facets but more on that in a bit. I have given it much thought and I tend to break those facets down as these four: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional and Spiritual. Now what I meant by possibly only three is this: Physical, Mental and Spiritual. And if it were only two then it could be as such: Thought and Being. Thought including such things as conscious will, the means for willful animation and memory or knowledge, both emotional and intellectual. Being could be defined as the combination of matter and energy without a force of direction behind it. Of course I as a whole am all of these things combined and could not in fact BE this individual known as Anthony if one or all of them were not present.
So as for the four facet theory, Physical would be the matter that makes up my body and the way it behaves. Chemistry in it�s purest form I suppose. Intellectual would be thought directed by reason, analysis, calculation, logic and fact. Emotional would be perhaps thought or feeling directed by intuition, reactivity, instinct and perhaps even faith. (This definition does not sit well with me as I find it difficult to define emotion in a purely intellectual sense.) And finally the most elusive and difficult for my intellect to grasp, Spiritual. Which may be described as one�s essence, soul, force of animation and to some: The very spark or �breath� of life. That source which separates us from inanimate or non-living things.
Now to some there would be no such category as spirit, simply attributing this apparent facet as a function of the intricacies of the relationship behind matter and energy. And in all honesty there is the possibility that they may be right. But this is not my view. My own experiences have led me to believe that there is something more. Something thus far unexplainable to modern science. What it may be is largely unknown. Even a devout scientist, atheist or agnostic who is a true skeptic must admit that they do not know for certain what the driving force behind life and consciousness actually is. We of course can all give our opinions, but when it comes right down to it, there is no known absolute. This �force� or source of life is an unknown. For many of us, some 95 percent of all human beings I think it is, this source is referred to as the Divine source or what most refer to as God.
I for one believe in God. Just what God is however is subjective. There are many ideas in this vast world of what God is. Simply look at the countless faiths and religions of the world. And not just the major ones (Christianity, Islamic, Buddhism, etc.), but even ideas or faiths such as druidism, paganism, even Satanism, and right down to individual tribal beliefs. Myself, I was raised Catholic.
Religion to me however was never much of an issue growing up. It was more in the realm of Intellect as an idea or philosophy while I was growing up. I never really had an actual sense of what God was spiritually. It was simply a subject to learn like math, geography and the like. I put no more stock in God back then than I did in anything else. Reality was my religion I suppose. That which I could see, touch, feel, experience etc. And up until the fall of 1989 (September I believe) that is how it remained. The entire story is elsewhere in this journal (for the sake of brevity here) but I will say that on a fated day that fall, and because of a very dear friend, I had an experience that forever changed my life. I will only describe it here as being touched by the very spirit of God. This event, which happened at a Christian group function, took a form that I look back at as primarily spiritual, but flooded over into every facet of my being. Even seeming to be physical to some degree, similar in the way that static electricity is physical.
This experience was so incredibly undeniable to all of my senses that it changed my life. And therein I began to lead a life of Christianity (non Catholic). There was a period of transition for me of about a year and a half that was pretty rocky to say the least. A struggle between the life I led to that point and the newfound faith I had found. My personal journal began at the end of that transition on April 11th, 1991. Struggles continued beyond that point of course, but I pretty much consider the beginning of my journal the final turning point. I was 24 when I began my journal. (23 when God�s own spirit touched me for the first time, now that I do the math.)
In all of the time that has passed since then my understanding of God and my faith has grown or evolved if you will. I received a bible from that Christian group that day back in the fall of 1989 and it sits next to me even now. It�s cover long since deteriorated and gone and the pages discolored from much use. Especially the new testament where you can see a definite color change on the book�s edge. But in the many years that have passed since then I find that even the Bible only paints a limited picture of God as I have come to know and believe in him. More than in that book, I find him with me every day. All around me in every facet of creation itself. I see his light in others. Even when they themselves don�t recognize it. I see him in the expression of art, structure, motion and time. And most of all, I feel closest to him when I am in natural settings. Watching life and the world go on about me. The flight of a bird, the whispering of the wind through the trees, the crashing of waves on a shore, the majesty of a mighty oak or even a common weed. All around me his essence makes itself known to me. Like a gentle voice, soothing, comforting and telling me he loves me.
I cannot conceive of him as some human form sitting �up� somewhere on some throne in a mystical place called heaven. These things, along with the pearly gates, streets of gold and all I think are figurative. An image given to us as some ideal in physical terms of what his kingdom is. While I suppose it could take this form, I see it as so much more. Something that we as limited physical and intellectual beings cannot ever truly understand. I guess I see it more as a state of pure being that may or may not take physical form. Much of this sense I came to believe by way of an experience I had even long before my present beliefs. Something that some would call a near death experience or astral projection. That is another story and a fairly long one, difficult to explain in words.
Overall I still consider myself Christian. But I hesitate even in saying that because it relates by so many to a specific religious ideology and dogma created by man. The very attempt to define God and Christ limits all that they are into the form of language and human understanding. This I feel is an impossible thing, for language and human understanding are subjective and open to much debate and interpretation. God to me is absolute. In such a way as to be inexpressible by man and his understanding. My one guiding principle in this life is the pursuit and understanding of Truth. In mankind that pursuit takes many forms. Science, the many religions of the world, different philosophies and in existence itself. Some shred of Truth may perhaps be found in them all, and therefore I believe God is as well in them all. I think it is just a matter of perspective. Science may be viewed as Truth pursued in conjunction with the Physical aspect of existence, relying on physical evidence and fact. Philosophy is perhaps the pursuit of Truth in conjunction with the Intellectual aspect of our being. Based on reason and ideology. And Religion may be the pursuit of Truth in conjunction with our Emotional or Spiritual aspect of being and to some degree perhaps Intellectual as well. Myself, I try to find the balance between them all and search for that Truth in all things, regardless of source. Be they other beliefs, philosophies, science or whatever. In the Bible, Truth is given a name in John 14:6. And that name is Jesus Christ. But even if I had no tongue to speak with or even if that Truth had never been given a name, my love of Truth would still be the same. And as it states, also in the book of John (8:32) �The Truth shall set you free�.
~FIN
