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from my mother....

"Eat everything on your plate. There are children in the world who are starving!"
...I have yet to figure this out.

"If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything."
...This was my mother's mantra. She hated gossip and "bad mouthing".

Wool Shrinks!
...Does wool still shrink? How come it doesn't shrink on the sheep?

"Don't run with scissors in your hands!"
...Why do I remember this?

from kids....

It's OK to color outside of the lines.
...We need to "color outside the lines" to be creative.

If you dont like it, dont eat it...no matter how good it's supposed to be for you.
...Yuck! Liver!

Scream until you get what you want!
...Persistence pays!

from experience....

Tomorrow came and went already!

Cheap is very expensive!
...Pay now, or pay even more later.

AVOID lawyers and doctors, (especially surgeons!). The quote by Abraham Maslow, ....
........"A man with a hammer thinks everything is a nail" applies here.
...This subject gives me a fat headache. If it was up to me all lawyers would be euthanatized, or made to do something useful like collecting garbage, and all doctors would be required to take a double dose of their own medicine first.

After everything else fails...follow directions!
...Did you ever buy anything that on the package it said, "Some Assembly Required" or "Easy Assembly"? Then you try to put this thing together and it takes three hours... and you sprained your wrist? So, now you're finally finished and you find out you have two screws, a plastic washer and a bolt left over?

from catholic grammar school....

It's all Eve's fault! Adam was just a victim of circumstance!
...Did the Catholic religion invent misogyny? Sure seems like it to me. Even if it didn't, it is my opinion that its dogma is a major perpetuator and notorious propagator of misogynistic attitudes and beliefs.

How to feel Guilty, Guilty, Guilty - and other assorted neurosis.
...I think the Catholic religion might have invented guilt too.

I am sinner, matter of fact, I was born with sin!
...Just leave it to the Catholic religion to get you off to a good start in life....AND, its all Eve's fault too!...Oh please!

How to diagram sentences, and not to dangle my participle.
...Was sentence diagraming taught in public schools? Or was it just the Catholic kids who knew enough not do dangle their participles?

Eating meat on Friday is a mortal sin!
...They should have added Saturday, and Sunday, and Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday too.

from high school....

How to boil water and make cookies!
...There is nothing like being prepared for the important things in life!

How to make a bound buttonhole and thread a needle!
...More great preparation for the future. Maybe I should add this to my resume!

The importance of maintaining a "C" average so you wont get kicked off the Cheerleading
......... Squad
...Such lofty goals!

from college....

Make sure you have placed your Parking Permit on the designated window on your vehicle.
...Or the "campus gestapo" (campus police) will tow your car away.

Males are the product of a broken chromosone.
...Need I say more?

A lot of professors have bad breath!
...And are weird!

Grades are EVERYTHING!
...

This Way Out!

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