The Halloweener 

Ghosts and goblins at the door 
Ugly, bloody ghouls of gore 
Wanting treats I have in store 
Wanting more, and more, and more. 
 
Little demons of the street 
Pounding with their little feet 
Waking me with "trick or treat" 
Wanting anything that’s sweet. 
 
From my knowledge I can tell 
When they knock or ring the bell 
It is bothersome as hell 
That is why I cast this spell 

"Half a ton of vulture’s eyes 
Vomit from the throats of flies 
Venom, acid, ugly ties 
Then a cup of ghostly sighs 
 
Add a shrieky rooster’s crow 
And some water with a glow 
Mix in warts from someone’s toe 
To the caldron they all go" 
 
Chanting to my grimy stew 
Adding eyeballs two by two 
Soon I have a magic brew 
Sweeter than the junk kids chew 
 
Every minute of the clock 
Comes the usual knock, knock, knock 
When I open up my lock 
Kids receive a tasty shock 
 
Trick or treat they have no pick 
All their little treats I trick 
When they swallow, chew, or lick 
What they chose will make them sick 
 
I am saving teeth this night 
Keeping smiles clean and bright 
‘Cause kids lose their appetite 
As their faces all turn white 
 
Sugar they shall now equate 
With a painful belly-ache 
And my treats will make them hate 
Sweets they used to think were great 
 
When this day comes back next year 
Children won’t be coming near 
Sweet-toothed monsters I won’t hear 
No more torture to my ear 
 
Police pounding with a stick 
"Knock that door down really quick 
Catch that lousy lunatic 
Making all these children sick" 
 
I explain that I’m obsessed 
That I tried my very best 
To achieve some needed rest 
And their presence I protest 
 
"I’ll be famous, you will see 
They will even honor me 
Each child’s parents will be free 
From the costly dentist’s fee" 
 
Wrestling me down right then 
Took the strength of fifty men 
Now I’m locked up in a pen 
‘Til my time is done in ten 
 
They say I deserve to rot 
But I’m fine with what I’ve got 
Life might not be very hot 
But I have a peaceful cot!