Hamster Traps
"get It before It gets you."
Below, I have listed some traps that we commonly use. Bait is required for some of them, so check out the hamster type section for the best kind of bait to use for a particular hamster.
- Ye olde box and stick trap
Materials needed:
-Cardboard box
-Stick
-String
-Bait
Tie the string around the stick, and prop the box up with it. Place your bait under the box. Now take hold of the other end of the string, and hide in a place where you have a good view of the box. When a hamster takes the bait, pull the string, and the box will fall, trapping your evil hamster beneth. An oldie, but a goodie.
- Hamster Party
Materials needed:
-Posters
-Appropriate weapons
-Fake address
Make several hundred posters saying there's a free sex, drugs, alcohol party for hamsters only on at a particular time and date at your fake address. Put these up all over town, and on the desired day, wait at your fake address. Then, you just wait for your evil hamster to show up, and kill it so hard that you erase all memory of its existance from the universe.
- Infiltration
Materials needed:
-Hamster Costume
-You must know where the hamsters layer is
-Appropriate weapons (concealed within suit)
Dress up in your hamster disguise like Sid over there and infiltrate the Hamsters hideout. When you get in, block the exit, and let it rip! This is a highly covert opperation, and requires skill and cunning only obtainable through years of training...or you could just do what we did and hope you don't get killed.
- Hamster Hole
Materials needed:
-Vaseline
-Whatever the entrance to your hamsters den is made of
-A good set of teeth
-Strong stomach
Smear the vaseline over your face, and sprinkle on dirt, grass etc. until your mouth looks like the entrance to the hamsters den. Then, lie on the ground with your mouth open, until some unsuspecting spawn of evil enters his "den". At the appropriate moment, bite as hard as your little jaw muscles will let you. Mmmm...tastes like chicken!
- Lady Hamster
Materials needed:
-Lady hamster disguise
-Hamster pheremones
-Flamethrower
Dress up as a lady hamster, and spray yourself with the pheremones. Now strut around like a cheep french hooker with vibrating underwear until some horny hamster comes seeking your...eh...company. As soon as you see him, reduce him to a smouldering pile of ashes on the ground just like some sort of vengeful hamster-god!
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