Foyer:
When hinges creak, in doorless chambers. And strange and frightening sounds echo
through the halls. Whenever candlelight's flicker, where the air is deathly
still, that is the time when ghosts are present. Practicing their terror, with
ghoulish delight!
Stretch Room:
Welcome! Foolish Mortals, to the haunted mansion, I am your host, your ghost
host. Hmmmm. Our tour begins here, in this gallery. Here where you see paintings
of some of our guests, as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.
Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There's no
turning back now... (room is now stretching)
Your cadaverous parlor, betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you
sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this Haunted room actually stretching? Or
is it your imagination, hhmm?? And consider this dismaying observation, this
chamber had no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge,
to find A WAY OUT! HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!! Of course, there's always my way....
Load Area:
Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely, hhhmm. the real chills come
later. Now, as they say "look alive", and we'll continue our little tour, and
lets all stay together, please.
Sinister Eleven:
(now your in your doombuggy) Do not pull down on the safety bar please, I will
lower it for you. Heed this warning, the spirits will materialize ONLY if you
remain quietly seated, at all times. Oh yes, and no flash pictures please, we
spirits are frightfully sensitive, to bright lights.
Library:
Our library is well stocked with priceless first editions, only ghost stories of
course, hmhmh. And marble busts, of the greatest ghost writers, the literary
world has even known.
Music Room and Staircase:
They have all, retired here to the Haunted Mansion, actually we have 999 happy
haunts here, but there's room for one thousand. Any volunteers?? If you should
decide to join us, final arrangements, may be made at the end of the tour.
Parlor:
We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat, every room has
wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold, running chills! Ssshhhh, listen....
Séance room to ballroom:
The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations, and are beginning to
materialize. They're assembling for a swinging wake, and they'll be expecting
me. I'll see you all, a little later.
Hitchhiking ghosts, Crypt:
Aaahh, there you are! And just in time, there's a little matter I forgot to
mention, BEWARE OF HITCHHIKING GHOSTS!! They have selected you to fill our
quota, and they'll haunt you until you return, HAHAHAH!!! Now, I will raise the
safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home, kindly watch your step p