The kids were growing and rebeling about life in general.� I spent many a nights on my knees asking God what I had done to deserve all the problems and worry the days were now bringing to my life.� I still had the option to go home to my folks in Massachuettes, but if I did then I would of given up on a life that I believe God had given me to do.
We moved from the trailer to a wonderful town called Richlands.� It was quiet and peaceful.� I could go to work and I felt more at ease leaving my kids alone now .� Tony was 16 and he could watch them while I had to work.� It was a lot to ask of a teenage boy but to survive I had to do it.
But along the way, Tony found a girl from Jacksonville.� Her name is Tammy.� He fell totally in love with this girl.� I was so jealous.� After all, he had been my right arm since his childhood, and my best friend.� Little did i know ,the burden he had to carry through that time was taking a toll on him.��� He continued to go to school but signed himself out of the school in the area and hitch-hiked to Jacksonville High to attend school with her. Today, she is his wife and they have been married since the age of 19 years old.
I worked long hours then, trying to make ends meet, still at the convience store, and working for the county, in homes for with the elderly.� I was not home often.� I tried to go back to school, but after I had started, I had my first date and we went roller skating...� Funny thing is I never roller skated before and here I was 36 years old thinking I could, because a pair of blue eyes said I could.� Well I ended up on my fanny and a fractured ankle to match.� Needless to say, all work stopped for me for three months.� Now... How did I survive???
Friends, and my sister ( who had recently moved down here to start anew).� I was learning how God was working in my life the hard way.� I did lose weight, since I couldn't move to get up and get the food for so long.� Before going crazy, I pushed myself to get out and drive the car after such a long time(it was my right ankle by the way...).
Then God again stepped into my life and I found a job working with men from a mental institution- Cherry Hospital.� These men were black men that at a young age in there lives had something happen, to make someone put them in this hospital that housed them for� 50, 60 or so years and left these people, in this hospital,� to teach and grow with no guidance.�� I explain this because these men lived like they were in jail for all these years, because they were black and had some type of learning disorder.� At first I was scared but I grew to honestly love� and care for these men.�� The company provided for the basic needs ,and 9 of us women provided the love and the teaching and the care.� It was growing years for me also since these men could be very violent at times and with the violence it got to be stressful ..� But I learned ,� with getting tough along with them I could still cry with them when they hurt and give them a Teddy Bear to sleep with at night when they were scared.� I continued this work for 7 years.
Raising the kids in this time was not easy...
I am not an agressive person and I had to learn to use other ways to punish the kids when things needed a little more than words...I guess I could count on one hand as many times as I really got angry enough to use force with them.� Most of the times, I used reason...I have always had them figure out what they would do if they were the parent...At least it is some teaching on what its like to be a parent(I figured).� I also taught them to believe that God is watching over us.�
Tony moved out of the house at the age of 17.� He was rebeling and was trying to live his way and I could not control him .� So this was the time when I learned about what a friend should be..when my girlfriends' husband stepped in and guided Tony through those years because they were tough for Tony and I.� Merle became the father to him that he had needed and wanted in his life.� He believed in Tony .� You see, Tony father ran when the child-support people wanted him to pay$10.00 a week.� I stayed in contact with his family off an on but his father didn't want to be found , or take on the responsibility of his child.� But in his absence God gave Tony , a wonderful man ,named Merle,� to help him through these years.
to be continued...
written april 14, 2001
with love by Michaela. Image created by Me.
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