"She's not a goddess, more of an earth mother whore type, which works for me. " - Hyde

"Eric?"
"Get off my mom. What?" - Eric
"What is it with you? You've been acting extra losery lately."
"I saw mom and dad having sex."
Alarms ring really loudly and the camera zooms in on Laurie's horrified face
"Oh! Oh you poor thing! It's alright, it's okay. Babys fine."
"Oh Laurie, it was horrible! And I can't get the image out of my mind. I mean, it was mom and dad but they were like a pack of wilderbeasts on a National Geographic special." - Eric
"Eric...I am so sorry but you have to understand Mom and dad are in love. They have urges and needs just like us. "
"No urges! No needs. " - Eric
"I learned in psychology class that what you went through is traumatic. But don't worry, many people have had this same experience. "
"Really, and they turned out alright?" - Eric
"Uh...Some of them turned out to be serial killers. But I'm sure that's just a coincedence! But whatever..."
"You know what the sad thing is? I actually think you're trying to be nice." - Eric
"Yeah...it's just not my strong suit. Sorry."
"So I'll be alright?" - Eric
"No..."

"Oh for gods sakes! He saw you guys doing it! There! I helped!"

Thanksgiving :
"Oh and hey don't forget to show her your gi joe dolls!"

The Best Christmas Ever :
"Um, so Laurie, seeing anyone special at college?" - Kitty
"Oh I like to date around."
"*cough*Slu-ttt-*cough*" - Eric

"Well now whose going to sing the high parts on the little drummer boy?" - Kitty
"Well traditionally its the man who can't grow facial hair"

"Oh you did not get this from the lot. You stole it."
"I haggled" - Eric
"With you? Smokey the bear? You stole it."
"Well I mean your hardly the one to talk. You're flunking out of college" - Eric
"How did you know?"
"I didn't." - Eric
"Shut-up!"
"You shut-up!" - Eric
"Shut-up!"
"You shut-up" - Eric
"Okay..."
"Okay.." - Eric

"I don't get it. How come the little drummer boy gets to have a party?"
"Because I asked you stupid sister." - Eric
"That's not clever"
"I don't have time to be clever. I'm planning a party.. Miss Dumb Girl" - Eric

"Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum."

"Eric, mom made it for you. The least you could do is drink a lot of it."

That Wrestling Show :
"So I just said to myself 'I don't care if all I have is dirty laundry and no money. I'm going home to see my parents because I love them very much'".

"You know dad, I feel sorry for all of the good kids who wanted to read those books. Thats who I feel sorry for."

"Mom! You know I'm on my water and yogurt diet."

"What?" - Red
"He said it was stupid daddy".

"Loose is good!!"

"Free drinks? I'm in!"

"Share little mom. Tell us how folding the dish towels just right makes all of our problems go away."

The Pill :
"You know the whole concept of grades is pretty subjective its really the experience of college thats important."

"Okay Eric? You know what? Dad likes me and he doesn't like you."

"Eric, you're not eating. Are you sick?" - Kitty
"Yeah Eric you seem upset. Did something happen at the pharmacy?"
"What happened at the pharmacy?" - Red
"Nothing. Shut-up!" - Eric
"Eric, you be nice to your sister. Kitty, what happened to the mail?" - Red
"Nothing, no mail."
"You know the mail keeps disappearing. I think we have a little mail theif." - Kitty
"Speaking of.... Laurie I swear I saw a University of Wisconsin envelope sticking out of your bra. Whats that about?" - Eric
"What?" - Red
"Donna's on the pill!!"

"You are a dirty, diry boy Eric."

"I'm going to pray for you Eric."
"You're the devil. And did you know that Laurie's flunking out of college?" - Eric

"Hey smart move going on the pill. That was the best thing I've ever did. Just wait until you get to college."

A New Hope :
"So Eric, are you going to get yourself some Star Wars pajamas now?"

"Hey Kelso"
"Laurie." - Kelso
"I'm bored."
"If your bored you should go see Star Wars." - Kelso
"No... I was thinking of doing something else.. and..."
"Laurie? Whats going on? Your acting like your liking me.. and thats weird." - Kelso
"Its like I said Kelso, I'm bored."
"Well thats very flattering but uh you know Jackie and I are back together." - Kelso
"Oh.. I understand... Do you want to see my appendex scar?"
"Once again.. WHATS HER NAME AND I ARE BACK TOGETHER!" - Kelso

"Oh boy.. thats terrible the way she treats you."
"Right!" - Kelso
"You know.. I saw Star Wars. I'm not a film expert but I think its safe to say that its the greatest film of all time."
"Finally!! Someone who understands!" - Kelso
"Yeah... You know, I've always thought you were kind of dumb.."
"Uh-huh" - Kelso
"But I don't care..."
"You know I don't either.. it's..." - Kelso

"Hey little brother I made out with Kelso"

"Oh wow.. I guess this isn't a good time to tell him that I've flunked out of college."
"You know Laurie I can not beleive that you are the favourite." - Eric
"I know? Doesn't it kick ass?"

Eric's Birthday Eric: ...just tell mom I'm to old for a surprise party
Laurie: But you're the baby, and momma loves her baby

(She goes upstairs, Kelso thinks she was coming on to her)
Laurie: (what Kelso imagined she said) Hello Kelso. I'm waiting and I want you baby to take me now. I need it bad. I need it all night; and momma loves her baby. I'm completely naked under this; and I'm hot for you Kelso.

(Later at the dinner table)
Red: How's your friend Janet?
Laurie: pregnant

Laurie: Oh yeah, Eric wanted me to tell you that he thinks he's to old for a surprise party. Keys?
Eric: Oh Laurie...I just remembered I can't loan you the Vista Cruiser on account of I hate you.

(Puppy dog eyes and pouty lips to Red)
Will that cover gas?
Kitty: Oh honey, give her another $10.

(In Eric's bed room)
Laurie: Hey little brother, nice tent.

Laurie: Do you really think beer will make you're little party better?
All: yes!
Laurie: I admit it would give you young people a sense of maturity, but it would be a false maturity, and that would be wrong....

Kelso: So Laurie where is this party? Maybe we'll stop by later.
Laurie: In your dreams, you idiot.

Return to Laurie Forman Tribute

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