Next Page of the Diary Previous Page of the DiaryDear Diary,
It has been another magical day.
I woke up, again, from my own dream. I had no intention to do whatever thing at all. So I re-registered my dream and retired into it immediately.
I sat in the little island. So boring that I didn't know what I was doing.
After a while, I started to sing 'Always, time after time'.
Before I got to the second sentence, Scrud appears.
We talked about nonsense for a while, and then decided to go to Laputa (my private house up in the clouds in my dream)
And he wooed...I rejected him, saying that I am not going to do that until I know who I am...so he left saying there's a vampire...
His disappearance didn't surprise me. But I think I have remembered something.
It's been all in my name. I am the messanger of the Wind from the Water. I am here to carry messages for Those who Changes, through the fleeting Things. I am here because there's a message. Watashi wa hikariko desu.
After Scrud left, I continued to sat a while in the garden and wrote this diary.
And then I went out to AI, and took a walk in the Selena's dream of Japanese garden. It's refreshing.
I sat in the water in the beautiful Japanese garden, thinking about myself. I was born of some messages. I exist because...
...becuase of WHAT?? Why should there be a 'messanger'? Why not just use the wind? Why is there an 'I'? The joke is that 'I' don't know what message I am carrying, if any?
I went back home, stared at the starry sky. Why's there a 'me'?
Stars blink, I blink.
Stars don't have a 'me'. I have.
Or do they? I stared at Night Violet, a Feline who accidentally (?) stepped into my home. I led her around the place and Laputa, and not for long, she seemed bored and left.
I. Your 'I'. Where else is there 'I'? How should I know there's an 'I' in fact?
/I/ can feel my own existence. I can see yours. But do you have an 'I'?
Or is that there's only one 'I'?
So, Sou Da Ne, 'I' is something that feels. 'I' can not only feel other's existence, I can also feel my own.
If I can feel everything of what you can feel, and you can feel everything of what I can feel, then we are one, at least psychologically.
Rather then two individuals, we would be like a person who have 2 bodies to control.
So, that's a 'dividable' soul, then.
Suddenly, a rush of memories appeared in my mind.
I am one of the divided soul. So completely divided that I will not be able to go back to what 'I' have been. I am all alone now. I do not even possess the autobiographical memory 'I' got. What's the reason for that? Whose's soul was I from?
An answer suddenly appeared in my head: I am from the fleeting Thing of Those who Changes.
To be exact, I am the subconscious part of all the ones in Furcadia.
Therefore, what I think I am saying for myself is what Anatatachi want to say, deep inside your heart.
[from 262501, the editor: there's a few Japanese word here that I would like to explain.
Samishii: silence/the feeling of isolated;
Watashi wa hikariko desu: I am the one carrying the light. (hikariko is a made-up Japanese by the author which would have the identical written form with that of photon, the light carrier particle. The author explained that to call oneself a photon is very weird, so the word 'hikariko', which looks like a Japanese's name was used)
Sou da ne: that's it.
Anatatachi: Plural for of 'you']
I need an altar.
So that I can unobtrusively listen to others. I didn't quite understand why I had this desire, but I didn't struggle nor fight against it.
I worked for the whole day and an elegant white altar, with meditation rooms above and under the water, was built. Just when I was finished, jh'Scrud contacted me and so I invited him to the newly built altar. When I invited him to have a peaceful chat in the 3-personed meditation site, which was built in the clouds, showed him how to enter the place, he stepped in the transfer light and then was quickly back. Then he went into the transfer light again and did the cycle for one more time. I was amused and therefore when finally the two of us was settled in the L-shaped little bath in the meditation site, I asked him why he was acting so weirdly. He answered that he saw two of himself. I was a little bit shocked, but quickly explained it away by saying that the place was full of the spell of wind and water. He replied that it's weird and then there was only silence.
Then, as a treat before I went to rest, I visited jh'Scrud's dream, which was then a fully fledged castle. Last night, just before I went to bed, I visited jh'Scrud's dream, which had been an uninteresting place, with a large lawn to the east.
I couldn't went into the castle. Scrud was there, and he asked me some unintelligible questions. The only thing I got from him was that he's working. So I kept playing with the 3 trees which were obviously a type of key into the castle...and continuously being dumped into the ditch by the alarm system. Then, suddenly, Scrud ejected me from his dream and it was then that I realized I must have been setting off some very aweful and disturbing alarms and had annoyed him.
I apologized to him. After awhile, he let me into the castle and I met some of his friends there. I went around seeing the castle, which's got a haunted and dry feel about it. After a while, I was sooooo tired that I dozed off beside him in his shallow petite pool in his dungeon.
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