Common Symptoms - Abuse Related Illnesses

By Jason Black

Borrowed from Anonymous Sexual Abuse Recovery

So many of my friends, myself included suffer from many of these symptoms. I wanted to include them so others may recognize them in themselves.Bad self image, anorexia/bulimia and other eating problems, self-abuse, co-dependency, obsessive behaviors, nightmares, flashbacks, body memories, etc. suicide, sexual dysfunction, memory loss, and dissociation.

There are a number of common symptoms that people who have been sexually abused tend to have. If you don't know whether or not you were abused, this list may help. Please be aware that having some or all of the things on this list apply to you doesn't mean 100% that you were abused. This is a guideline. If you remain unsure, you should probably talk with a therapist who is sensitive to abuse issues.

Bad self image.
Abuse victims frequently had the blame for the abuse laid at their feet. Abuse can be guised as punishment, which leads the child to conclude that they are bad so they must have deserved it. Sexual abuse can also give people the impression that all they are good for is sex, which can ruin their self-esteem. Some of my problem began when the Church preached that sex was bad, it meant that you were going to hell. Since I already had sex starting at four years of age I new where I was headed.

Anorexia, Bulimia, and other eating problems.
Bad self-image can lead people (especially women and adolescent girls) to have all sorts of eating problems. Bad self image plus society's insistence on "skinny is beautiful" can lead to anorexia. Other people come to the conclusion that "if I were unattractive I wouldn't get abused," which can lead to being overweight. Sometimes people get caught in the middle with bulimia. They binge on food to make themselves unattractive and then social pressure makes them feel guilty for trying to not fit the mold so they purge afterwards. Depression also tends to make us eat too much. We feed our feelings.

Self abuse.
There is a tendancy towards self abuse. It ranges from simple overeating to cutting oneself. I met a guy in jail once that had sliced his arms over two hundred times. He was crying out for help in his own way.

Co-dependency.
This is when one member of a relationship is dependant on something (drugs, alcohol, anger, sex, whatever) and the other member tries to be loving and supportive but just ends up making it easier for the dependant person to be dependant. The co-dependant person ends up getting the short end of the stick all the time, spending their energy being supportive. In the end, neither person is happy. Abuse survivors often fall into co-dependant roles in relationships later in life, because their upbringing was in.

Obsessive behaviors.
Some abuse victims take refuge against their lack of control over what happens to their bodies by becoming obsessive about some other aspect of their life. Some people become obsessive organizers, work-aholics, etc. Some turn to drugs or alcohol as a way of controlling their moods and emotions.

Nightmares.
Nightmares are frequently associated with sexual abuse. They're not always dreams about abuse, but an abnormally large number of nightmares can be significant. Certainly if they get in the way of getting enough sleep, then you have cause to be suspicious. Many people who haven't had nightmares in the past will begin having them when they start the recovery process. This is normal and doesn't mean you're going insane or anything. In fact, paying attention to your nightmares can give you clues as to which directions you need to take your healing.

Flashbacks.
This is one of the nastiest symptoms there are. Flashbacks can come in response to a situation that is similar to when you were abused. At the extreme, during a flashback you re-live the abuse situation in full color stereo surround sound. The whole bit. These can be extremely scary. People in the real world can take on the roles in your memories. A flashback is in some sense the ultimate nightmare.

Body memories.
These can be described as flashbacks limited to a single sense. Some examples that have been posted on the ASAR include feeling like someone behind you is pushing you down. While driving, feeling like there's semen in your hair, so much so that you have to stop the car, or your lover's touch feeling like that of your abuser. Body memories can give you clues as to what's happened to you if you are lacking specific memories of your abuse.

Depression.
Abuse victims often suffer through nearly unbearable bouts of depression, the cause of which is frequently unknown if the person has not yet begun recovery. Mood swings are also common, but more bearable if the person is aware of the cause and is working to heal.

Suicide attempts.
Sometimes the depression, guilt, and/or shame gets to be too much. Data collected on abuse survivor's shows a marked increase in suicide attempts.

Drug use/abuse.
Understandably, when life is difficult, some people choose to escape via drugs and alcohol use. This relates back to some of the self-image and control problems mentioned above.

Sexual dysfunction.
For fairly self-evident reasons, sexual abuse victims often have trouble forming healthy adult sexual relationships. An irrational fear of sex is common. Forming relationships based on sex is common too, because as children, the idea "you're only good for sex" was impressed upon them.

Memory loss.
People who were abused once or twice may have shut out those particular memories, but otherwise know what's happened in their lives. People who were chronically abused are often missing months or years from their memories.

Disassociation.
Often described as "losing time", dissociation is when your conscious mind stops controlling your body, and some other part takes over. Behaviors vary during dissociate episodes. Some people become catatonic, others walk and talk in an apparently normal fashion, yet others act quite differently from their normal. When the event is over, the person typically doesn't remember what happened during it, and often doesn't remember some amount of time (usually a few months, sometimes much longer) before the event. Their mental state is reset to some earlier time in their life. The person will come out of the event believing that it is a different season, or that they're in a different place, etc. Almost always the memories come back, over a period of hours or maybe a couple of days.

Multiple Personalities.
It is also the case that abuse survivors can split into multiple personalities in order to deal with the abuse. The worse the abuse, the more likely someone is to have developed multiple personalities. Different personas will split off to handle the memories, the anger, and various other facets of the abuse situation. Alters, as they're known, can be all different ages, different sexes, etc. Being a multiple doesn't mean that you are crazy, it is just the means you ended up using to survive extremely stressful situations.

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