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EOME is a series of Voyager stories which are based on the premise that the Maquis ship was not destroyed in "Caretaker." Given that there is no name in canon for the Maquis ship, this series calls it "Fides," which is Latin for "Faith."
The order of the EOME series:
Confederation
Follow the Leader
Casualty and Confession
Food for Thought
Change of Command
Cracks in Time's Mirror
Fides Violare
Fletcher Christian Was in Starfleet
Far From My Home
Judas Kiss Part One
Judas Kiss Part Two
Wi-na-de-ya-ho (A New Day)
A Matter of a Moment
Rumours and Remedies
And Faith Shines Equal
The title comes from Emily Bronte's Last Lines:
No coward soul is mine,
No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere:
I see Heaven's glories shine,
And faith shines equal, arming me from fear.
Please do not distribute without Kath's or Vicki's permission. Thanks. Much gratitude to Sheena to Jen for their editorial input! =)
*****
**Captain’s Log: We have changed course to intercept what our sensors indicate is a wormhole, possibly a stable passage back to the Alpha Quadrant. At the very least I’m hoping that it will take us closer to our goal. The mood of the crew is jubilant and I’m hard pressed to clamp down on it as it has been a long time since we have had something like this to celebrate.**
*****
Chakotay entered her ready room and stood just inside the door watching her in silence. Janeway was flying. He'd never seen her so excited about something. She couldn't seem to sit still, her hands tapping away at a padd, her feet pacing the floor as she moved from her desk to her couch and back again. He hated to do anything to dampen her enthusiasm. Goodness knows they didn't often have days as exciting as this.
Janeway finally became aware of Chakotay's presence, his silence, in the room.
"What can I do for you, Commander?" she asked with a broad smile.
Still he did not speak, reluctant to ask her for that which she was not willing to give.
"Chakotay?" she questioned, her expression sobering slightly. "Has something happened?"
"No," he responded softly. "Not yet."
She moved around to sit behind her desk, placing the padd down. She gestured for him to sit opposite her and he did move forward to grip the back of the chair. But he did not sit.
"Do you remember when we first discussed our alliance, you asked me what would happen when we got back to the Alpha Quadrant?" he asked her finally.
She grinned.
"I believe you said something like we'd cross that bridge when we came to it."
"Is it time to be crossing that bridge, Captain?" His voice was soft, a little sad.
Janeway stood, fidgeting with her empty coffee mug.
"We still have to send a probe through, gather data ... "
"That doesn't answer my question," he interrupted. "If we've found a doorway across the galaxy what is that going to mean for the Maquis?"
"Haven't we both been working for this goal?" she asked him slowly. "Getting our crews home has been our objective all along, hasn't it? Unless ... unless you never really believed we'd make it?"
He shook his head with a weary smile.
"You're avoiding the question again, Kathryn! I need to know if I should be warming up a bunk in your brig!"
"Frankly I think you're jumping the gun a little here, Commander!" she snapped. "We don't even know where that wormhole goes yet."
Chakotay drew a deep breath and lightly tapped the chair. He turned towards the door.
"You're right, of course, Captain. That's why your crew is planning homecoming celebrations. And don't give me any crap about not knowing because you are a lot more in tune with your crew than you let on!"
"Chakotay, wait," she called, halting his path to the door. He didn't turn around. "Our circumstances changed my mission, you know that and I know that. But I don't know what the situation is in the Alpha Quadrant or how Starfleet will react to our alliance. I wish I could guarantee the freedom of the Maquis just based on our ... cooperation but it's not up to me."
He pivoted to look back at her, his expression unreadable. Damn but she hated it when he withdrew his emotions like this!
"So it is your intention to incarcerate us then?"
"No! Of course not!" she burst out. "But if we go to Starfleet Command - together - and explain the circumstances that made us a team I'm confident that the Maquis will be treated with leniency..."
"You just said it wasn't up to you," he reminded her.
"What do you want from me?" she asked, with some anger. "You're asking me for assurances that I can't possibly give!"
"We don't have to go to Starfleet Command, Captain. Fides could return to the DMZ, alone. You could turn a blind eye, let us go."
There was a stillness in the room for a moment.
"You'd be outlaws," she whispered.
He chuckled bitterly.
"We are outlaws, Kathryn."
*****
Chakotay and Torres were working on replacing the environmental control panels. It was something Torres had been trying to accomplish for months but was difficult to do while the ship was in motion, particularly at high speeds. It was a task best suited for a zero gravity space dock, as the panels were located on the engine room's ceiling.
So when Voyager had stopped to investigate the anomalous wormhole Torres once again pressured Chakotay to help her.
She hated asking for his help. It bothered her that there might be something in the engine room she couldn't take care of herself. But the truth was, Torres wasn't big enough to handle the necessary equipment alone.
She normally would have gone to someone like Larson, or Ayala, or Bendera for help. But lately Larson had been working on Voyager, and Ayala up on the bridge. Bendera was gone.
Chakotay hadn't been in the best of moods since the discovery of the wormhole. Truth be told, most of the Maquis were in a subdued frame of mind, taking their cue from their leader. While reaching the Alpha Quadrant had always been their goal, it presented a lot of uncertainties. Torres felt as uncertain as the rest of them, but she didn't appreciate Chakotay's glum attitude when she was trying to get some work done.
She couldn't blame Chakotay for procrastinating. It was as tedious a task as she could imagine in engineering. And an uncomfortable one. Right now Chakotay was hanging precariously from the ceiling with his legs hooked under rungs in a ladder that scaled the wall and ran across the ceiling. A safety harness was strapped around his waist, and attached to another of the rungs.
He stretched his arms down to pull on the rope that would haul up the next panel. Torres, having secured the panel, helped him lift the heavy equipment. Chakotay fumbled with his tools while trying to secure the pulley and ended up dropping his hyperspanner.
"Shit!" he muttered angrily as it bounced off B'Elanna's shoulder and hit the floor with a crack. The panel slipped a few feet when B'Elanna lost her grip.
"Ouch!" she grumbled.
"Haul it back down," called Chakotay, "I can't doing anything without that tool."
'I just hope it isn't broken,' he added silently.
Once the panel was safely back on the floor, Torres went to pick up the spanner. Chakotay swung his arms slightly, thinking about his sore muscles. His arms were competing with his legs for the most pain.
"Chakotay!" The intercom buzzed. Torres went over to hit the transmit button without comment.
"What is it?" yelled Chakotay from the ceiling.
"Voyager is requesting your presence in the sickbay."
Chakotay froze. They needed him in sickbay? What for? Was Kathryn hurt? A thousand possibilities formed in his mind, all of them bad. He felt a dizziness that had nothing to do with hanging upside down.
"Tell them I'm on my way," he called, bending himself up to unhook the harness. Gripping the rungs tightly with both hands he extricated his legs from their cramped position and allowed his lower body to swing down. Torres moved back towards him with alarm.
"Hey, what are you doing? Be careful!"
Chakotay merely grunted acknowledgement and swung his legs further to grab the rope between his feet. He drew it closer to him.
"Give me some ballast," he ordered her. Torres didn't hesitate, but moved to her end of the rope, which was thankfully still attached to the heavy panel. She grabbed it and leaned in to throw her own weight on.
Chakotay let go of the ladder and caught the rope with one hand then swiftly grabbed it with the other. He half slid half climbed down, jumping the last few feet. His sudden departure from his end of the rope caused B'Elanna to fall on her back.
"You ok?" he asked, extending a hand to help her up. She glared at him and stood without his help.
"Was that really necessary?" she snapped. "You might have killed yourself!"
"I'll be back," he called over his shoulder as he headed to the transporter room.
*****
All the way along Voyager's corridor Chakotay tried to imagine what might have happened that would require his presence in sickbay. He had just run through a series of worst case scenarios: Kathryn was dying and wanted his promise to take her crew through the wormhole ... he saw his crew being arrested by Tuvok's security before the doorway between quadrants had even closed. The mere idea that something might have happened to Kathryn made his blood run cold.
So certain was he that Kathryn was hurt he didn't even consider the possibility that she might have good news for him. He burst through the sickbay doors, stopping short at the sight of the very healthy looking captain. He resisted a sudden urge to throw his arms around her.
"Uh..." he stuttered as she turned around and stepped toward him.
Janeway smiled.
"I have someone here I thought you'd like to see," she told him.
Still caught up with his worry Chakotay had a hard time prying his eyes off her. When he did, and brought his gaze to the patient on the biobed his eyes widened and he stared with amazement.
Janeway laughed at his expression.
"Oh my god," whispered Chakotay, still rooted to the spot.
"But you're dead!" exclaimed Kurt Bendera.
It was hard to say who was the most shocked. Although Janeway felt a keen surprise by Kurt's words, she suspected that the two friends were by far the most astonished.
"You're dead!" Kurt blurted again. "I saw you die! What kind of trick is this?" He turned angrily on the captain. "Is this some kind of holographic manipulation?"
"Mr. Bendera," she tried a calming voice. "I assure you..."
"You're the one who's dead, Bendera," Chakotay interrupted. "So who are you really and where did you come from?"
"It was extraordinary, Chakotay!" Janeway said, her eyes burning bright with excitement. She placed her palm flat against his chest. "We sent our probe into the wormhole and we were awaiting the relay of data when suddenly a small craft appeared."
"In it was Mr. Bendera," finished the Doctor. "And he claims to have come from a place where Fides was destroyed."
"Too bad for you, Captain," Kurt said with a bit of a sneer. "After all your hunting you only got one Maquis!"
Chakotay frowned at this.
"Apparently," continued Janeway, ignoring Kurt's tone but withdrawing her hand, "Fides and Voyager were not together."
"Are you saying that this wormhole leads not to another place but another universe?" asked Chakotay. Janeway nodded with resignation.
Chakotay felt a little surprised and a little guilty at the sense of relief this knowledge gave him. Realizing his expression was readable to the captain he focussed instead on Kurt.
"What happened to Fides?" he asked.
Kurt looked back and forth between Chakotay and the captain with some suspicion but his good natured grin began to appear. He gave a quick glance at the doctor and then launched into his tale.
"Well, uh, we'd, uh, we'd come across a plasma field and since our energy supply was low ... you know how it is..."
Chakotay nodded. He knew.
"Bey, I mean B'Elanna, thought we could harness some of the plasma streams and convert them to energy stores."
"Interesting idea," commented Janeway. Chakotay raised an eyebrow.
"Interesting, but it sounds risky."
Kurt laughed a little shakily.
"That's funny 'cos that's exactly what you said when she proposed the idea. But desperate times call for desperate measures so we decided to try it."
*****
"It sounds risky to me," Chakotay said, frowning. He didn't like being pushed into a decision he didn't want to make.
"If we can transfer the energy from even a small amount of plasma, we could power our systems for months," B'Elanna told him.
"And if we don't try," Kurt put in, "we're basically dead in the water. There isn't even a viable M-class around to crash onto."
Chakotay turned from them to gaze out of the viewscreen.
"Do it!" he ordered abruptly. "But I want every precaution taken." Chakotay sighed and rubbed his tired eyes as Kurt and B'Elanna practically tripped over themselves exiting the bridge.
***
"Torres to Chakotay!"
"I think he might be asleep," Kurt mumbled, scrubbing his face with his hands. They'd been working around the clock to setup B'Elanna's experiment.
"Yeah, Chakotay here," came the voice of their captain.
"I'm sending Bendera out in an escape pod to collect the plasma. We'd never be able to get close enough."
"Have you thought about how you're going to retrieve the pod?" Chakotay asked.
"We'll worry about that later. If necessary we'll beam him back and jettison it."
"OK," Chakotay agreed. It sounded to Kurt like the old man wasn't entirely convinced they were doing the right thing.
"OK Bendera, get to it," Torres told him. Kurt grinned as he trotted out of engineering towards the escape pods. B'Elanna may have brusque mannerisms but she knew her stuff.
***
"Kurt to Fides."
"Talk to me, Bendera," responded Chakotay's calm voice.
"I've got the plasma. But an energy wave caught my thrusters knocking out my navigational control."
"We'll get in closer to you," Chakotay told him.
It seemed to Kurt that it took forever before he could see Fides approaching. The plasma streams were a little too close for his comfort.
"Bendera," called Torres, "I'm going to beam the plasma first. I don't want to risk scrambling the two of you together."
"I appreciate your diligence, my darlin'," Kurt drawled.
A few seconds later the plasma container shimmered out of view. Kurt waited patiently for the transporter to pick him up. When it didn't he hit the comm panel again.
"Hey Torres? You're not leaving me out here 'cos I won that bet are you? I mean, I know you hate being wrong, but I..."
There was no warning. No sound. No cry for help. Suddenly, Fides exploded, bursting into fragments of metal and streaming light. Kurt shielded his eyes with his hands. He was too shocked to react in any other way. He was too stunned to comprehend what he'd just witnessed. His friends were gone; their home destroyed. So swiftly, so coldly, so unjustly.
The shock of the explosion rocked the tiny pod sending Kurt's fingers flying vainly over the controls. He was powerless to stop the tiny craft's motion back towards the plasma field.
"So this is my death," he wondered aloud. Hysteria and grief made him laugh. "Ah, old man, you always did have to beat me! Even in dying!"
The force of the plasma streams rocked the pod so violently that Kurt was knocked from his seat. As he was thrown to the floor he could see a space so like the badlands of the DMZ that he imagined himself back in the Alpha Quadrant. He'd much prefer to die there as a Maquis defending his home against those Cardassian bastards rather than halfway across the galaxy in some godforsaken hellhole corner of the Quadrant, alone.
"A good day to die, Bey?" he whispered, the shock of hitting the floor so painful it brought tears to his eyes.
The movement of the pod shifted abruptly, tossing Kurt against the wall. He gasped. In a haze he saw the viewscreen change. Instead of random plasma streams against the darkness of space there was a swirling of light and a sense of drifting motion.
Kurt sat slowly down, checking his console to see if he could get any readings. Somehow, he wasn't sure how - he didn't even know if Bey would be able to explain it - he'd been pushed into a wormhole. Now how was he going to get out? And where would he be then?
*****
"How long did you drift in the wormhole?" asked Chakotay when Kurt paused for a moment to take a drink of water. While he was swallowing the Doctor answered for him.
"An estimated 23.4 days."
*****
He'd suffer a reproving glare from Tuvok and possibly even an official reprimand, but this was something that Tom had to do before returning to his duty station on the bridge.
"Computer, location of Ensign Susan Lavoie?"
"Ensign Lavoie is in her quarters."
On his way through the corridors, Tom mulled over what he would say.
'Hey, good news, your dead boyfriend’s back among us.'
He shook his head. That was a little dark for even his sometimes black sense of humour.
Much too soon, he arrived at the door to her quarters. He had not yet formulated an explanation for his appearance there and for the events that had recently transpired. But, he knew that he was one of the only people who was aware of the type of relationship Suzie Lavoie had had with Kurt Bendera. He knew that she had to be told what had taken place, lest she bump into the man she believed dead strolling down the corridor.
He rang the buzzer.
She had been off duty for several hours and she appeared in the doorway looking rather disheveled, her hair tousled, her eyes mirrored by dark shadows and still reflecting a bit of the haunted look that had been part of her visage since the horrible death had befallen her lover. She looked at Tom inquiringly.
"Hi..." he said lamely, his word trailing off as he glanced from Suzie's deep violet eyes to the deck. He took a deep breath and then lifted his eyes to meet her gaze again.
"There's something I need to discuss with you. Can I come in for a moment?"
She shrugged and stepped away from the door to allow him through the portal.
Tom paced in a compact circle trying to summon up the words that could explain exactly what had occurred. Suzie stared at him, obviously becoming curious at what had brought him to her quarters.
Finally he stopped, stood stock still, and turned to look at her.
"Ensign...Suzie...you were on the bridge when the wormhole was discovered..."
Suzie nodded affirmatively.
"Today we got a visitor from the wormhole. It doesn't lead to the Alpha Quadrant. It leads instead to an alternate universe. Someone came through from that alternate universe today....that universe's Kurt Bendera."
For a moment she didn't move and then a choking sound came from her, as though something had lodged in her throat, preventing the passage of air. Her hands flew to her face and she appeared to totter on her feet.
Tom reached out an arm to her shoulder.
"I thought you should know," he said gently. "He's in sickbay. The captain's with him, and so is Chakotay. He seems to be all right but the Fides in his universe was recently destroyed."
"I have to see him!" Suzie gasped, her eyes flooding with tears. She turned to the doorway.
Tom was justly concerned by what a distraught Suzie's appearance in sickbay could precipitate for both her and this Bendera; her emotional state was not the best to be greeting the newfound guest aboard the ship.
"Wait!" Tom cried. "Suzie, wait! This is Kurt Bendera, but he's not your Kurt Bendera, he's from another universe. We don't know how similar the universes are...or if he's even the same person you knew!"
"It doesn't matter!" she cried. "I have to see him! I have to!"
Tom emphasized his plea by grasping her shoulders with both his hands, attempting to gently but firmly restrain her from leaving the room in her current state. Suzie thwarted his efforts by very strategically connecting her knee to him in a manner that caused him to fall to his own.
She ran out the door.
He gritted his teeth and rose to his feet. 'Another fine mess you’ve made,' he thought in self-recrimination. He realized too late that he probably should have advised the captain of his intentions. Even though the relationship that had existed between Suzie and Kurt was not his business to be discussing, it did have an impact on the situation at hand.
Too late...Suzie had already fled the room. Tom set off in pursuit.
"Suzie!" he hollered down the corridor. He glimpsed her just turning the corner and poured on some speed to try and catch her before she reached the turbolift.
"Suzie!" he called again. "Ensign!" he tried. As Tom turned the corner he saw that she had made the turbolift.
"Ensign, stop right there! That's an order!"
She just shook her head. Her eyes were wide and she looked as though she were about to fall apart as the doors to the turbolift slid shut before Tom could reach it.
"Shit," he muttered, pounding a fist against the button that would bring the lift back to that deck, and leaning his forehead against the wall.
Slowly he straightened and raised his eyes to the ceiling as though he was beseeching a higher power for intervention, or perhaps for mercy. He hit his commbadge.
"Paris to Janeway."
*****
Suzie flew through the door to sickbay and then skidded to a halt a few feet from Kurt's biobed. Those assembled in the room glanced at her in surprise, save Janeway who had just been forewarned of her imminent arrival.
Janeway took a step toward the younger woman and reached out her hand.
"Ensign Lavoie," she said softly. "Let me have a few words with you right now."
Suzie shook her head mutely, gazing only at the biobed, barely registering Janeway's words.
"Kurt," she whispered, her lower lip trembling.
She took the two steps that closed the distance between her and the bed.
Chakotay silently stepped back as she came around the side of the bed, not taking notice that she was about to walk straight into him. He exchanged a concerned glance with Janeway.
Suzie reached out a shaking hand to touch Kurt's cheek. For his part, Kurt gazed at her, confusion evident on his face, but the hint of an appreciative smile on his lips. Suzie was not an unremarkable looking woman, in fact, her tears and her distress only added to the look of a femme fatale that her diminutive figure and raven hair conjured up.
"Hello," Kurt said affably.
"Oh Kurt," Suzie breathed. "I thought...I thought....I'd never see you again." Her voice broke into a sob.
"Well....," Kurt said slowly, "...here I am!"
He gently took her hand from his cheek and held it loosely in his own.
"This probably isn't the best time to ask," he said softly, "but who are you?"
He cocked his head and gazed curiously at her.
Suzie gave a startled gasp and pulled her hand from Kurt's, backing a step away from the bed. Janeway took the opportunity to come around the bed, place an arm around Suzie, and somewhat forcibly draw her towards the Doctor's office.
"Ensign Lavoie," she said firmly, "I think we need to talk now."
*****
The celebration in the cargo bay was in full swing when B'Elanna arrived. She'd brought Tom and Harry over from Voyager, insisting that they not mope around dwelling on the disappointment of the wormhole.
The Maquis ship hadn't felt so joyous in a long time.
"Hey Bey!" called out Kurt, who seemed to have adjusted to his new surroundings quite well. But then, Kurt had always been very good at hiding his feelings behind jokes and humour. And anger, Torres remembered somberly. Of course, that was the Kurt they all knew. Whether or not this Kurt was the same remained to be seen.
Bendera's expression darkened slightly at the sight of Kim and Paris and he shot Torres a questioning look. Paris stiffened.
"Oh man, I knew this was a bad idea," he muttered to Harry.
"Kurt, these are my friends Harry and Tom," B'Elanna said shortly. She tried to remember that this Bendera hadn't spent any time with the Voyager crew.
"Grab a drink," Kurt said easily to the newcomers, his expression still wary.
Torres got a drink for herself and surveyed the room. The cargo bay's stores, depleted as usual, had all been pushed to the outer walls, opening up a large area. People were dancing, some were singing, most were drinking from Dalby's still. Fides might be short on supplies, but there was always a lot of music readily available from cherished instruments.
Torres relaxed and sipped her drink. Then she frowned.
"Where's Chakotay?" she asked Kurt. He shrugged.
"I haven't seen him."
Torres sighed slightly then put down her drink.
"I'll be right back," she told her friends.
*****
Engineering was all but deserted. With the ship holding near the wormhole there was no need for more than a skeleton crew and they were on the bridge. The consoles flickered with their lights flashing but the main lights were off. Over in the corner, up high, was another light source.
B'Elanna watched him working for a moment, her arms crossed, her expression a perplexed frown.
She strode over to the wall and hoisted herself up the ladder until she was near the ceiling. He glanced at her briefly but did not stop working. When it was obvious that he wasn't going to speak Torres burst out,
"What the hell are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" he snapped. "I'm fixing your environmental panels. You've been after me for months to get it done."
"And you've been ignoring me for months!" she exclaimed. "Why the sudden interest now?"
"That wormhole isn't a gateway to the Alpha Quadrant. Janeway et al aren't going to stick around here much longer. This needs to get done before we go to warp again."
"Chakotay..." her voice trailed off. She tried again. "We're having a party. We're celebrating!"
"Doesn't mean that the work doesn't have to get done," he grunted.
"Someone else can do this, Chakotay. At another time. Right now you should be down in the cargo bay enjoying yourself."
"I'm not in the mood," was his short response.
"What is the matter with you?" she exploded. "This is a tremendous gift - getting Kurt back..."
He stopped and looked at her, his eyes hard.
"We haven't gotten anyone back Torres! Just because we have a Kurt Bendera on this ship doesn't mean that our friend didn't die. It doesn't wipe out the fact that our Kurt was murdered!"
"Why must you focus on the negative?" she asked, her voice soft now. "Why can't you embrace the positive?"
He returned his attention to the panel.
"Ch'kotay...let it go. You can't let her poison your life this way!"
"Aren't you missing out on your party, Torres?" he asked her.
*****
Chakotay entered his quarters cautiously. The room was empty. Chell had stopped by earlier with the crate of Kurt's things which he'd left at an awkward angle by the end of the bunks.
Chakotay sighed and sat on his bunk, pulling off his boots slowly, letting them fall to the floor with a thump. He looked up as the door opened.
Kurt stood in the doorway for a second, taking in the quarters, and Chakotay's presence, with a detached calm. Then he entered, his eyebrows lifting at the sight of the crate.
"I had Chell pull Kurt's belongings out of storage," Chakotay offered as an explanation. "I would imagine they're very similar."
Kurt dropped to his knees to open the crate.
"I would imagine. You know, you missed a good party. I couldn't believe Dalby's home brew! I guess some things are the same no matter what universe you're in!"
"I guess," mumbled Chakotay.
Kurt sat back to balance on the balls of his feet, rocking slightly. He looked at Chakotay with such wonderment that the older man began to blush.
"I still can't quite believe it," Kurt said. "I never thought I'd see any of you again. But it's ... I don't know ... weird, y'know?"
"Yeah, it's weird," agreed Chakotay.
"Look, Bey told me what happened. About Seska I mean. And I understand that it's rough. I can't be your Kurt any more than you can be my Ch'kotay. But ... whatever we are to each other, it's better than being alone, don't you think?"
"I can't forget him," Chakotay said sadly. "I can't forget that he's dead."
"I don't think you'll ever forget what Seska did. But a part of what made him Kurt is a part of me too." As he spoke Kurt began to remove items from the crate, tossing them carelessly around.
"And that would be the messy part, right?" Chakotay asked with a slight grin. As an attempt at humour it was pretty lame, but at least it was an attempt. He got a shirt thrown at him for his trouble.
"Are you looking for something in particular?" Chakotay asked finally when Kurt sat back with a sigh.
"Naw, it's nothing. I guess it was too much to hope for that it would be here." Kurt began picking up the strewn items.
"What?" asked Chakotay softly, handing him back the shirt.
"A ... a silver locket," Kurt admitted, a little sheepishly. "It sounds silly maybe, but it's been in my family for a long time."
Chakotay regarded Kurt's sad face with some shock. He'd forgotten about the locket. Remembering Suzie's entrance to the sickbay ealier, Chakotay hesitated. It would be easy to let Kurt believe his counterpart had not possessed the heirloom. But Chakotay wasn't sure he'd be doing Suzie any favours there.
When it came down to it Chakotay wasn't really sure what to tell Kurt about Suzie. He didn't really know much about his friend's relationship with the Starfleet ensign.
"Ah, there is a locket," Chakotay said.
Kurt looked up with surprise and pleasure.
"Where is it?" he asked.
"I ... I gave it to Susan Lavoie. Well, actually, Paris gave it to her after we uh,..." Chakotay couldn't believe how badly he was fumbling this.
"Suzie has it," he said firmly. "I thought it appropriate considering the affection between her and Kurt."
Kurt stood scratching his head.
"Perhaps I should have a chat with Ensign Lavoie," Kurt murmured.
*****
After getting directions from the transporter chief, Kurt wandered the halls slowly. He didn't know what he was going to say to this stranger, this beautiful and sad woman who loved the man he wasn't.
The door opened to another woman Kurt didn't recognize. She obviously knew him though, from the startled expression on her face.
"I'm looking for ... " Kurt began.
"Suzie!" called this new stranger.
Susan Lavoie sat up from her bunk and looked blankly at Kurt. Sensing the tension her roommate hesitated.
"I was just heading out to the holodeck to see if Paris is running his new program..." She left it hanging.
"Have a good time," Suzie said dully. When her friend still made no move to leave she added, "I'll be fine."
As the door swished shut behind the retreating roommate, Kurt turned to face Suzie.
"Hello," she said, not looking at his face.
"I'm very sorry," Kurt said sincerely. "I wish things could be different."
"Yeah, me too," whispered Suzie.
"I'm still feeling very ... out of place here. Maybe if you talked..."
"I don't want to talk about it!" flashed Suzie taking up the courage to glare at him. Her courage failed her at the sight of his troubled blue eyes. She looked down at the carpet.
Kurt shrugged, trying not to show how much this woman's grief affected him.
"He must have cared about you very much."
"What do you know about it?" she asked bitterly.
"Chakotay told me," Kurt said simply. "And I can understand why," continued Kurt, feeling an absurd need to keep talking.
"You don't even know me," Suzie reminded him, glaring at him once more. This time it was Kurt who looked away.
"No, maybe I don't. But I've got eyes to see and I think you're very beautiful," he told her awkwardly. "And it's obvious you're hurting badly for missing him."
"Why did you come here?" she asked finally.
"I came for ... the locket," he said, a bit reluctant to admit it.
Unconsciously Suzie wrapped her hand around the piece of jewelry, concealed as it was under her clothing. A brief burst of anger and resentment flared through her. How could he? This pretender, this twin of Kurt, this stranger with Kurt's face, his expression, his smile... How could he take from her the only piece of Kurt she had left?
The anger didn't last. It couldn't. His resemblance to the man she'd loved was too strong. It was more than just his facial features. It was his voice, his posture, his mannerism.
Without a word she took the locket off, untangling it from her hair as she lifted the chain over her head, and handed it to him. He took it slowly.
This was something much more significant than the taste of Dalby's home brew. That this item would be identical between universes... Could that mean other things were as well? What about feelings?
He knew Chakotay was battling with the sudden reappearance of his deceased friend. Kurt, having had less time to come to terms with the loss of his friends, was faring a bit better. But if he and Chakotay could accept each other then why couldn't he and Suzie? The big difference being that he didn't know Suzie. Well, that could always change.
He handed back the locket.
"Here. I think you should keep it."
Suzie took the offering, letting the chain dangle from her fingers.
"Thank you," she said, putting it around her neck once more.
"Just one condition," Kurt told her with a serious a look. He reached out to take both her hands. They were icy cold. "Let's not stay strangers to each other. Let's get reacquainted. OK?" He grinned and squeezed her hands.
"I don’t know," she said, looking down at the locket. He lifted her chin so she was looking at him again.
"I don't want to cause you any more pain if I can help it. And I don't promise to be the Kurt you knew. But so far everything I've seen in this world makes me trust his judgement. Maybe we won't have the same relationship, but I don't think we should be enemies."
*****
Kurt's curiousity was piqued, but Chakotay had been cool and uncommunicative all morning. He'd avoided his friend altogether, only seeking him out just before going to Voyager for the meeting. Kurt wasn't sure what the meeting was for, or why his presence was required. Chakotay's aloofness made him more uneasy. What if they'd decided to send him back to his own universe?
Kurt was somewhat amazed at the nonchalance Chakotay displayed while walking down Voyager's corridors. Didn't the Maquis captain feel anything being on this swanky vessel? But then, Kurt's Chakotay had spent many a year as a Starfleet officer, so it was more than likely this Chakotay was equally as comfortable in a Starfleet environment.
Kurt wasn't sure he'd ever get used to it. Those holodecks sure would be nice to try though.
Chakotay stepped back from the door, allowing Kurt to enter first.
The senior staff was already assembled with Janeway seated at the conference table's head, sipping coffee while listening to Tuvok. Tom Paris was chuckling with the young fellow from Ops, Henry? No, Harry. And the strange Delta Quadrant native, Neelix, was nodding his head vigorously at something Kes was telling him. Kurt remembered Kes from the sickbay.
Lieutenant Carey was not seated, but standing by the computer console on the wall, running some kind of simulation. B'Elanna was there also, and she flashed Kurt a grin even as she continued her discussion with Carey.
Kurt took his seat with exaggerated ease, not showing his uncertainty one bit. Chakotay elected to remain standing, leaning against the wall, where he could get a better view of Carey's sim.
Janeway called the meeting to order and without preamble turned the floor over to the engineers.
"We've been examining the data from Mr. Bendera's pod, Captain," Carey began. "And we think we've figured out what they were trying to do."
Kurt sat up a little straighter. He cast a glance over to Chakotay, but the other man was paying him no attention.
"Do you know what went wrong?" asked Janeway.
"Yes," Torres spoke up, nodding once. "I think the container used for the plasma was unstable. When the other Torres beamed it off the pod she wasn't able to rematerialize it properly. Any number of things might have happened then to cause the explosion, but uncontained plasma is ... well, they may as well have pulled in a bomb."
"Knowing what you do, will it be possible to use their theories?" inquired Tuvok. This time it was Carey who answered.
"Yes. Particularly if we don't attempt a transport once the plasma is safely contained."
"Someone will have to take a shuttle close to the plasma field," said Torres. Janeway gave a nod to Paris. "And once the plasma is on board I wouldn't want to transport it again."
Kurt's worry that he was going to be jettisoned back through the wormhole had evaporated as soon as he understood where the engineers were going with their briefing. Now, listening to them plan a repeat performance of the experiment which had destroyed Fides, Kurt felt his blood begin to boil.
"With the proper containment field ..." Torres was saying.
"Are you people CRAZY?!" burst out Kurt, coming to his feet abruptly. Startled, all eyes turned to him. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Kurt," Torres said, shifting her focus from the captain to her friend, "I know it probably seems a little risky ..."
Chakotay drew a sharp breath. 'Unfortunate choice of words, B'Elanna,' he thought to himself.
"Risky?" echoed Kurt. "Risky?! It's dangerous! It's suicide!"
He stepped back from the table and glared at them, all his anger suddenly spilling forth. Janeway recalled the words Tuvok had used to describe the Kurt Bendera he knew: volatile and at times irrational.
"All of my friends, all of my friends died trying to do this!" His sharp eyes snapped onto Janeway's face. "Do all of their deaths mean nothing to you people? 'Cos they sure as hell mean something to me!" His fist thumped his chest with emphasis.
In two strides, Kurt was down at Janeway's end of the table.
"I lost my home and my only family to this venture, Captain!" he spat, looming over her.
Chakotay, having the advantage of already being on his feet and on Kurt's side of the table, moved swiftly towards the captain. If he knew Kurt, and there was no reason to suppose he didn't at this point, then he knew that Bendera could get violent.
"Hey," Chakotay said, reaching out a hand to the younger man.
In a flash Kurt turned, shifting his focus from towering over Janeway to facing his own captain. His arm swung faster than Chakotay anticipated, fist solidly connecting to jaw. The force of the blow caused Chakotay to stagger back, nearly losing his footing as he hit the wall. His head made an alarming crack on impact.
Everyone was on his feet now with Tuvok calling for security from the far side of the table.
Chakotay's recovery was quick, surprising even him as he felt an irrational, unwelcome rage towards Kurt. Kurt, who was his friend, who was his brother. Kurt, who'd left him alone by dying at Seska's hand. Kurt, who now appeared before him, alive and well as though that Cardassian bitch's betrayal had never happened.
'How dare you?!' thought Chakotay. 'How dare you be here, now?! How could you leave me? And how could you come back?!'
Little did he know that very similar thoughts were screaming through Kurt's mind while he struggled to reconcile this man with the captain he'd known and loved and seen blown to bits.
Janeway moved to intervene without waiting for the security as she'd seen Chakotay's hands go to fists and she sensed the anger coming from him. Stepping in between the two men she placed her hand on Chakotay's shoulder, her fingers gently squeezing the tense muscles she felt there.
"Chakotay," she said softly. "Don't."
For a second he didn't look at her, didn't acknowledge her, his dark eyes burning into Kurt. She could see his hurt very plainly and was surprised that this emotion would be nakedly displayed on the face of a man usually so expressionless. Then he turned his attention to her, blinked, and his stoic mask was once more in place.
Janeway held up her other arm as though to ward off Kurt's attack.
"Mr. Bendera, please," she said.
Torres came scrambling around from the computer, casually knocking Carey aside without noticing that she'd all but thrown him into the console.
"Kurt, listen to me." Torres stopped her approach when Kurt looked as though he might try a blow to her head next. "I know how you feel, really I do."
Taking a deep breath, B'Elanna spared a glance at Tom, who gave her a nod of encouragement.
"I've visited a parallel universe and so I know how hard it is being around people who seem to be the ones you love, but they're not. It's very disorienting."
Kurt relaxed his fists slightly but still looked at her suspiciously. She stepped closer.
"All those people dying ... they do mean something to us. And their deaths were not in vain. Because we know what happened we know what to do differently."
"I can't believe you, Bey," Kurt said. "I can't believe you're going to try this. You said yourself it's like bringing a bomb aboard."
"Hey," Torres said, softer now and with a lopsided grin. "Trust me. Voyager has technology that Fides doesn't. She's capable of maintaining better containment for longer periods of time. We can do this. Thanks to your help."
Three security ensigns entered at this point, but stopped short at a signal from Tuvok.
Kurt looked over to Carey, who was absent-mindedly rubbing his bruised shoulder. He swung around to face Paris, who met his gaze evenly. Then he turned to face Janeway, who still stood with her hand on Chakotay's shoulder, now offering comfort as much as she had held him back earlier.
"You're really going to do this?" he whispered.
"We're going to take every precaution, Mr. Bendera," Janeway told him. "And if at any time it appears that the plan is no longer viable, then we won't continue. But I believe we have to try. Energy converted from just a small amount of plasma could provide us with months of power."
There was silence. Torres stepped closer to Kurt now, as though her close proximity could ease his fears. Kurt stared at his boots.
"I'll tell you one thing, old man," he said, raising his gaze to meet Chakotay's.
"What's that?" asked Chakotay abruptly.
"I am going to stay on Fides this time. I will not be alone again."
*****
As Janeway waited for him she found herself drumming her fingers on her desk. In an effort to stop the nervous habit she picked up a padd. It was Tuvok's security report. She tossed it back down.
She'd given a lot of thought to their upcoming discussion and she still didn't know what exactly she was going to say to him. She could tell he'd been a little miffed by her summons but as usual he'd agreed and said he'd be over right away. For right away he sure was taking his time!
The door chimed.
"Come in!" she called, standing.
Chakotay entered and gave her a neutral look. But she didn't fail to notice the signs of strain evident by his tired eyes and his tense body language.
"Commander Chakotay," she began formally, "I think we need to talk."
"If you say so ... Captain," he responded coolly.
"A lot has happened in the last few days," she commented. Chakotay sighed.
"What's on your mind, Kathryn?" he asked, a bit wearily.
"I'm ... I'm concerned that maybe we're not working towards the same goal," Janeway told him bluntly.
"I have never kept my primary goal a secret," he said softly.
"I made a promise to this crew that I would find a way to get them home come hell or high water..."
He said nothing, so she continued.
"We nearly had a way home this week, Chakotay, and yet when it didn't work out I got the distinct impression that you were more relieved than disappointed." Her tone held an accusatory note. Damn but he was an exasperating man! Would she ever understand him?
"I..." Chakotay hesitated slightly. "I was more relieved than disappointed," he admitted. "But that is because I was worried about what I was going to do if we stepped into the Alpha Quadrant. I was worried about what you were going to do."
There was silence between them for a moment. Janeway stepped around her desk to move closer to him.
"When you came to me asking what would happen, I really didn't know what to tell you. The idea of you, and B'Elanna, and the others being prosecuted and possibly imprisoned is abhorrent to me now. As Tuvok once told me it is always easier to feel negatively towards that which you do not know. But when you suggested that the Maquis leave us and return to the DMZ as outlaws I..."
Janeway shook her head and held up her hand in a helpless gesture. As her arm dropped back to her side Chakotay stepped swiftly forward and took her hand in his.
"What?" he asked gently.
"I realized for the first time that if that happened I would most likely never see you again. And I didn't like that feeling."
Chakotay leaned into her slowly, bringing his other arm around her to draw her close. He could feel her tension in her back muscles so he rubbed up and down her spine. She pressed her forehead against his chest.
"I don't like that thought either," he told her softly.
"But Chakotay," She pulled away from him now and he reluctantly let their fingers separate. "We can't be working at cross purposes. We have to be striving for the same goal or our alliance won't be able to survive."
Janeway walked up the step to face the viewport, her face in a frown and her arms crossed defensively across her chest.
"I'm glad you chose that word, Kathryn," Chakotay said, coming to step up behind her. "Because that has been my goal from the beginning. To survive. To survive here in the Delta Quadrant, to survive back in the DMZ, to keep our people together, and healthy, and happy."
Chakotay placed one hand lightly on her shoulder and with the other he stroked her hair over to one side. He bent down to kiss her neck softly. She closed her eyes.
"And if we all get home in one piece," continued Chakotay, "I will be as happy as anyone."
Janeway knew what he was telling her and she knew she'd have to accept this. Theirs was a relationship of give and take, stronger now than it had been when he'd first entered her ready room to discuss survival, but there were always compromises to be made.
"Chakotay," she said.
"Hmmm?" He moved to rest his chin on the top of her head.
"If we got back to the Alpha Quadrant tomorrow..."
"Yes?" he asked when she hesitated. She sensed a slight degree of tension in his body, so close to her own.
"I'd turn a blind eye."
His tension eased noticeably and his arms moved from her shoulders to cross over her chest. She leaned back on him.
"Thank you Kathryn," he whispered in her ear.
*****
Chakotay walked to his quarters at a leisurely pace. The sense of relief he felt at knowing Kathryn would let them escape was tempered by a nagging worry of 'what then?'. Some days he wondered if maybe they wouldn't be better off just staying stuck out here in the Delta Quadrant.
As he entered the room he noticed that Kurt was not in residence. Bendera had been clearly agitated when they'd discussed the plan to retrieve the plasma. Chakotay rubbed his jaw. Agitated wasn't the word for it!
Still, when the experiment was pulled off, Bendera had been right there with Torres, sharing his knowledge from the first attempt.
It was ironic, thought Chakotay, that the converted energy was most easily adapted to maintaining Fides' environmental systems, when it was thanks to Voyager's technology that they were able to contain it. It also didn't escape Chakotay's dark sense of humour that it would be plasma that brought this Kurt out of the ashes of Fides' destruction and into the arms of the Maquis of this universe.
Chakotay had removed his vest and his boots, but he hadn't had time to crash on his bunk when the chime on the door disturbed his thoughts. It was B'Elanna.
"What now?" asked Chakotay wearily.
She gave him an amused look and held out her hand.
"Come with me," she said.
When he didn't move she stepped into the room and took his hand, pulling him towards the door.
"Come on! Come with me."
"Wait!" he protested feebly. "My boots ..."
With her free arm she grabbed the blanket off his bunk, all the while shoving him into the hall.
"That doesn't matter," she told him, hooking her arm over his.
"Where are we going?" he asked, not sure whether to be amused or apprehensive. She smiled.
"You'll see," was all he got.
They were, in fact, going to the cargo bay - the same cargo bay that had served them for the party. Tonight there wasn't any dancing. The Maquis sat in a group, an irregular circle, in the centre of the room. The lights were low, an attempt at an intimate darkness of night, a pretense they held even in the ever blackness of space. Their voices low, their laughter light, their bodies close in comfort, they sat together and shared.
"What's going on?" Chakotay asked B'Elanna, as they stood as yet unnoticed in the entrance to the room.
"We decided maybe it would be a good idea if we swapped a few stories. That way we can get to know Kurt a little better, and he can get to know us too."
"Hey, old man, come to join us?" Kurt's easy voice carried over to them. B'Elanna put the blanket on Chakotay's shoulders and drew him to the circle. It opened up slightly to make room, and B'Elanna plunked herself down beside him.
All around him Chakotay heard the voices of his crew reminiscing.
"Remember that time on Mikanos II when Kurt stole the rations right from under the noses of..."
"...I couldn't believe he had the audacity to pour his drink over..."
"...the next thing I knew he was dragging me out of the ditch and firing at the same time..."
"...only he would make such a suggestion openly. I thought Chakotay was going to go through the roof..."
"...if he hadn't shown up then I'm sure we never would have been able to..."
"...the two of them singing at the top of their lungs, drunker than skunks, and stark naked to boot..."
Interspersed in these memories were some from Kurt about all the people of his universe.
"I remember the first time I met Bey, she was knee deep in mud and swearing like a full blooded Klingon who's been denied a chance to slit someone's throat."
"Chakotay never liked to be second guessed but he could always tell if you were just going along with his plan. One time he and I fought over..."
"...lost all my shifts to Dalby in a poker game and ended up on swing for over two months..."
"...up to our eyeballs in muck with Cardassians all around us when Gerron spotted a potential route towards the ship. Little did he know that..."
As the laughter died away after one of Chell's impressions of Kurt as a gourmet chef, B'Elanna turned to Chakotay. She leaned on his shoulder with her forearm.
"What about you, Ch'kotay? Don't you have a story?"
"The Chakotay I knew was a wonderful storyteller," Kurt put in quietly.
All eyes were on their leader. He looked at the floor for a moment and then began to speak.
"OK, here is a story for you. It's a legend of Raven."
A few bodies shuffled around getting more comfortable while Chakotay began the tale.
"Raven the trickster lived among men and women in a world that was dark and cold. Because Raven was sad for them he left them to find the light. At the edge of the world he saw a glimmer of light that came from the house of the Sky chief. When the Sky chief's daughter knelt by the water's edge to drink, Raven changed himself into a pine needle and floated down to the water. The girl swallowed the pine needle and after a time bore a child: Raven-child."
The only sound in the cargo bay was Chakotay's calm voice, his pace and tone resonating with respect for the legend.
"One day Raven-child found a large wooden box. Within the box was a shining ball, radiating with light. It was the sun. Once the power of the sun was in Raven-child's hands he became Raven once more and he flew back to the world of the people. Raven threw the sun high into the sky. From that day on the sun stayed there as his gift to the people. Because he gave them the sun, Raven is loved by the people even when he plays tricks on them."
"When we said goodbye to our Kurt, I carved a totem for him with Raven on it. Kurt was our trickster. The spirit of our friend watched over us, to protect us, to comfort us. He has now returned, bringing with him an energy source much like Raven returned to the people and gave them the sun."
"You never cease to amaze me, old man," Kurt said, softly, breaking the silence at the end of Chakotay's tale.
The two men stared at each other across the circle.
"You never cease to amaze me, old friend," Chakotay replied. "Welcome home."
Go to the fifteenth EOME story Divide and Conquer PG or Divide and Conquer R
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