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| HOW TO KICK ASS! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Kicking ass is a skill that everyone should learn. Whether you're a 5-year-old kid, a priest or a cabinet maker, the time may come in your life where you'll need to administer a good beating to someone who you feel deserves it. It is common knowledge that no one on this Earth kicks more ass than STEVEN SEAGAL! This is one of the reasons why he's the BEST EVER, and winner of the 1986 Nobel Prize for Ass Kicking. Therefore, who better to teach you, young grasshopper, the noble art of beating the living bejesus out of people... |
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| LESSON ONE | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| (How to beat a guy wearing a shirt with no sleeves.) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| LESSON TWO | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| (How to beat a guy with a dirty handkerchief.) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| LESSON THREE | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| (How to get your ass kicked by a little girl.) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| (How to beat a guy with no watch!) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| LESSON FOUR | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| LESSON FIVE | (How to deal with fat people.) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Disclaimer: Please do not expect to know EVERYTHING about martial arts from the lessons held within. While they do explain most aspects of the fighting arts, and should give the reader enough knowledge to defeat a well-trained ninja, it would take a lifetime to learn everything, as it did Steven Seagal. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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