Dynamic Villain's Parallel Universe: The Crapuels
Have you ever wondered what the TRUE story of the Star Wars Prequels was? Not that sweet, correct, stupid, nice, boring presentation you got by Lucas. The ones that simply didn't make sense at all. The ones were it was clear something was missing.
This is a humour rewrite of the Star Wars Prequels!
Don't take this seriously! I didn't!
Scroll down to read it all or to download it all!!
These are the first 3 episodes of six episodes which make up the entire CRAPTACULAR SAGA!!!
The other 3 episodes are Rewrites of the Original Trilogy. Those have been rewritten to 'tie into' the Prequels...from a certain point of view... You can find them here.
The set-up of those rewrites is a bit different than the prequel rewrites, which are more 'critical-funny'.
This Prequel Craptacular Trilogy (or CRAPUELS) is pretty long, more than 100 pages. I just couldn't stop, and it's an easy read.
So don't worry and hang in there!
Alert yourself to prepare for the arrival of:
'The Perils Of Queen ImADalek Of Nabooty',
'Stop! Or My Clone Will Shoot!',
and 'A Very Big Explosion'
With exciting characters like:
- Obi-Wan Kenobi;
- Qui-Gon Jinn;
- Jar Jar Stinks;
- Anakiddie Skywalker;
- Queen PetMe ImADalek Of Nabooty;
- Jar Jar Stinks;
- Shmut Skywalker;
- Boss Nass;
- Captain Obvious;
- Captain Boring;
- Captain Pointless;
- Sio Biblical;
- Fake Aliens (now with insulting accents!);
- Cartoon Characters;
- Darth Silent;
- ROTJ Emperor;
- Supreme Chancellor Valium;
- Senator E.T.;
- Samuel L. Jackson;
- Conehead;
- Little Green Alien;
- Watto;
- CG droids;
- Count Dooku;
- Chewbacca The Wookiee;
- Artoo-Detoo;
- C-3PO;
- Queen JamItInYa;
- Dex;
- The Old Bitch;
- The Fett family;
- The man who's name PetMe forgot;
- Lama Su;
- Taun We;
- Zam WeSellToys;
- Xenophopia;
- AnalEntr�;
- And of course the Naughty Royal Handmaidens: BangM�, UseM�, SpankM�, SlapM�, HurtM�, WhipM�, ChokeM�, DoM�, and Ginger.;
Learn about:
- The Awesome Power Of The Force;
- The traditional Nabooty greeting booty-pinch;
- The traditional spanking manners of the Nabooty;
- The Power Of Booty;
- The Seduction Of Booty, which must be withstood by any Jedi Apprentice at all cost, or all may be lost!;
- The Model Makers Of Nabooty;
- The dim-wittedness of the Dungans;
- The truth behind the numb tongue of Jar Jar;
- The secret of the Mind-Trick;
- The LadyShave Of Transmission;
- The mystery of Midichlorians;
- The mystery of what a Vergence is;
- The mystery of the Prophecy of the Chosen One who will bring Balance to the Force;
- The mystery of what a Padawan is;
- The Super Secret Sith Transmission Tracking Trick;
- The Queen's Super Secret Throne Compartment;
- The Royal Nabooty Metal Pins Covered Whip Of Spank;
- The Laser Shield Doors Of Pacing;
- The Bottomless Pit Of Unoriginal Ideas;
- The Dark Lord Of Merchandizing;
- The name of the little green alien;
- The Glowing Orb Of Unlikeliness;
- The Tusken Biker Gang;
- The Super Mind-Trick;
- The traumatic lover-boy experience;
- The Kamino holiday resort and cloning centre;
- The faith of the Original Original Trilogy;
- The name of Samuel L. Jackson's character;
- The mystery of Jimmy Smits;
- The mystery of the plot;
- The mysteriously pointless shape-shifting pointless character;
- The awesome Force-Un-Choke trick;
- The tax-cut on booty-wax;
- The mystery of where the fruit has been in;
- The Plan to which all has been proceeding, except for the parts that didn't go as planned;
- The snapping of PetMe's mind;
- The memory-wipe-plan of Chewbacca;
- And of course The Very Big Explosion!
Are you still here?! Then on to the Episodes!
To read the Adobe PDF version you need to have the Adobe PDF reader installed. You probably already have it on your computer. If not, you can download it at the adobe website