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Let's Go See A Show!
Our trip to Branson, Missouri, July '09
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Yee Haw! At the Golden Corral they let you rustle up some grub and kill your own green beans!
Should you believe that everything has its opposite, if there's a Japanese violinist named Shoji Tabuchi in a tiny midwestern country music town like Branson, then you know that somewhere in downtoan Osaka, there's a guy in a ten-gallon hat chewing on a piece of hay and playing his fiddle in the Jimbo Jim Bob Theater.
The bathrooms are so nice here (one of the best in the country, no joke), that it's almost a shame to have to pee in the fancy urinal.
When you wash your hands, tiny cleaning fairies come out of the faucet and scrub them clean, then freshen them with a spritz of unicorn magic dust.
The guy in the back is either challenging us to a match or would like to show the size of his cue stick.
Glenn tries to tune in the CD using the power of his brain, and if you think I'm going to make a joke about my father-in-law along those lines then you're nuts.
Shoji and his orchestra perform some of the top Big Band hits, including "Osaka Choo-Choo," "(I've Got a Gal In) Tokyo" and "Land of the Rising Sun Serenade."
"I say, good sir, might you provide me several spoonfuls of sugar to get me down from this superfrakindocious predicament?"
Playing the big drums is cool, but twirling and tossing the giant sticks could be hazardous to your health.
Shoji might have been trying to ingratiate himself to the audience a little much with such patriotic country songs as "God Bless America (And Screw Those Commies)" and "The Bumper Of My SUV Is Littered With The Entrails Of Hippies."
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