May 6, 2003
Listening to: Shazna - Love is Alive
Mood: Not too shabby

--Maybe lucky, maybe lucky... I dare say I'm lucky--

Howdy.  Hello.  Greetings.  Poop.  Wait... that's not a greeting, is it?  Well, who cares, I felt like saying it.  How are all of you out there?  Doing good, I hope.  Well, I ain't doing too bad here to be honest.  Why...?  No certain reason or at least I can't think of one right now.  I just feel happy, I guess.  Well, since I'm feeling so good... I don't really have anything to write about so... maybe something interesting will happen later on and then I'll have something to share.  Till then...

-Engleman


October 2, 2002
Listening to: Laputa – POPular UPrising
Mood: Awesome ^_^

--Debo--

Sorry about how short my last entry was… I guess I was just too tired to go on.  You all forgive me, right?  I thought as much.  It’s all good.  ^_^

Right now, I’m listening to the mostly unknown band here in the States called, “Laputa”.  Now, I’ve never heard a guy’s voice that sounds quite like this one, to some, it might seem shrill, and really annoying… but if you listen to a few of their songs, they’ll grow on you.  I just wish my girlfriend was more sentimental to my belief… because she absolutely hates them, lol.  But I suppose that could have something to do with the fact that the first band I introduced her to was L’Arc~en~Ciel; whom most know is easy going, rarely aggressive type songs.  They are pop songs, to be blunt.  Hey, I’ve got no problem with L’Arc~en~Ciel, those guys rule and kick ass, but it’s hard to introduce other bands when you have L’Arc to compete with.  I will never give up in my quest to broaden her horizons.  After all… I DID get her to like Gackt and Malice Mizer with much persuasion.  At least she doesn’t make comments about some of the songs I listen to like, “That sounds like GAY PIRATE MUSIC!!! “ lol. Erm... glasses… you know, they are a blessing and all, but my eyes still aren’t used to them.  I used to wear glasses way back when I was in middle school… but like all things I’ve pretty much tried to do, I stopped wearing them.  I’m now paying the price for that now… I’m now forced to use these when I drive or anything.  If I get caught not wearing them, now being classified “vision impaired” by the state, I could get fined pretty heavy.  Oh yeah, just to get some thoughts out of your head, I was not forced to wear glasses because of any accidents, heh.  I was having problems seeing just about everything around myself and my girlfriend suggested that I get it looked into.  So, after the exam I was diagnosed with Astigmatism and Myopia… but I never knew you could have both.  Wow.  All in all though, it’s not bad having them, because now I can see the television from the couch and stuff.  I don’t have to sit myself in front of the ol’ boob tube in order to play videogames anymore; I can enjoy them from a distance!! It just about made me cry, no lie.  I’m such a wuss.

Well, this is the last part of my journal entry (I think).  Now, I must first apologize to my best friend, Chris, for not having this up sooner because I told him that I had it up already.  I’m sorry bro.  Some of you are probably like “it”? WTF?  Well, it’s a funny story to be honest.  Ahem… here it goes (Better go to the bathroom or something because it scared the piss out of me)

It started as any other day would have, except that Kristin and I had to venture into Utica (that’s a city about 2 hours away from where we live) to pursue a job interview.  The interview was for her, but what kind of guy would I be if I allowed her to go by herself?  Well, I wasn’t having that, and that’s for damn sure.  It’s a good thing I did go with her too!!  Reason why?  The job she was getting involved with was an assistant toddler teacher through head start.  Sounded innocent enough, right?  Well, I thought so too… till I saw the area the building was located in.  Good God!! This place was in the ghetto of the city and the site of every typical cracker white boy bad dream!  I had never seen anything like that in my life:  condemned buildings, crack heads walking up and down the street, those same crack heads looking into other people’s car windows, etc.  I told her before she got out of the car to be careful when she went in, because I didn’t like the look of the place.  I told her I would stay in the car to keep an eye on it.  Heh… what was I thinking?  I should have stopped trying to play tough guy, which I normally don’t do, but I find myself doing more and more when it comes to protecting her. (I later told her I was scared, btw) So… I sat there in the car; just trying to find something to listen to on the radio, but that was constantly coming up short in offerings, although I heard back-to-back Phil Collins songs, heh.  Not that Phil tickles my fancy or anything.  Anyways, I sat there a while, trying to block out my fears that were coming to and from my attention constantly, when all of a sudden, I see some big fat guy riding a bike that reminded me of Debo from the movie, “Friday”.  I about died because he slowed down and was looking in cars as he drove by… luckily, he didn’t come near the car I was in… Wow, about then… I had to use the bathroom, but I used better judgment and held it till Kristin got back from the interview.

After she got back, I relieved myself to the best of my ability, then I told her that I really didn’t like the area we were in and she agreed with me.  She did tell me, however, that the people interviewing her really liked what she had to offer.  We kinda argued about the area some, but that quickly faded for a while… till they called back about 2 weeks later and said that they wanted to give her the job! Debo came peddling back into my mind as I heard those words, but she quickly put my fears at bay when she said that she was going to look at the building she would be working in before she made a decision on whether she’d accept or not. (It wasn’t the same building we went to for the interview, btw).  So, she and her mom went back to Utica to check it out.  I didn’t go because I was sick with a cold.  Honestly!  She came back a couple of hours later that morning and was shaking her head, “no” and I can’t lie about this… I was kinda happy she said no.  She had just cause for saying no though: women who had been working at that particular building had been going out to the parking lot and were being harassed by local men.  “Screw that!”, I said!!  She agreed with me on that, she refused the job and so here we are… together; our search continuing.  Life goes on… and it’s a little better because Debo isn’t involved in any way.

Ahh, life is good.

So, here I leave you all to gather your thoughts… drop me a line and let me know what you all would have done in this situation at [email protected] or if you just wanna let me know what’s going on in your life: I DO CARE!!

Bye for now.

-Engleman

Hello all.  How has this day been for you?  I hope well, of course.  My mood is a lot better than the other day, I’ll tell ya that.  Anyways, on to my day!


First of all, I spent about 75% of it sleeping, I ate some food from McDonald’s (A number 4 to be exact), and here I am!!

What a day!  I’m so exhausted…

Think I’ll call this entry quits for now, even though it seems like making an entry is foolish if it’s this short.

Mama DID raise a fool, apparently. 
 
-Engleman

 

August 24, 2002
Listening to: Fairy Fore - VIVID
Mood: I’m just “here”

--Feeling a bit... RANDY?!--

Well, how do I begin…?  Would a simple “Hello” really begin to sum up my feelings?  Not entirely.  Actually, not even close.  I think as of late, I’ve been irritated and even becoming irritating myself.  The source of this, you ask?  I’m not sure myself, but I think it may have something to do with not venting my feelings properly.  Music seems to be the thing for my mood right now, proving once again that music truly “soothes the savage beast”.  I need the soothing right now, heh.

I wish this feeling would go away soon… I’m not a nice person when I’m like this, and it’s only a matter of time before I go off on someone…

Now to the “highlights” of my day:

I did do something creative today however, in spite of feeling the way I do.  I found this website called “TweakXP” which has taught me a lot of things about computers using Windows XP as their operating system.  This site teaches people about little tricks and tweaks that can be utilized to increase the performance of a computer or how to obtain the maximum usage of their software, etc.  So I decided to try the tweaks out on me and Kristin’s computer.  By the way, the computer my girlfriend and I have is pretty impressive, at least to me.  It has about a 40 gb hard drive, 128 mb of RAM (Which I am about to add to, once I go back to my house and rip my old computer apart), 1.30 GHz, and an Intel Celeron Processor (1300 MHz).  Sure beats my old computer, which had a wicked slow processor and about 8 gigs of hard drive space.  Heh, anyhoo… using “TweakXP’s” tweaks, I had increased the performance of our computer by so much.  I maximized the computer’s virtual memory so that it can run programs faster.  Out of all these tweaks, I think the one I found in which you had to download a program from Intel’s website, was by far the best.  The program basically automatically increases the performance of any Intel 800 series processor, and from what I’ve seen, it has made this thing much faster.  I’m not done looking though all the tweaks on the site, but so far, through the guidance of those who submit the tricks and whatnot, I haven’t done one bad thing to my computer yet.  That’s pretty impressive for a guy who’s experimented on his parent’s computer and had to reformat the computer at least 3 times due to a lack of not knowing what I was doing.  ^_^  Oh, by the way, the site might have “XP” in the title, but it offers tweaks and tricks for all operating systems as far back as Windows 95.  You should go check it out if you have the time at www.tweakdatabase.com.  Now, just because I’ve had some nice results from messing with my computer, you might want to get permission from all those in your family before you decide to go on an overhaul of your PC, since you don’t want to be branded as the “killer of computers” or anything like that for having to reformat your hard drive due to something you did.  You gotta take a risk if you want to see some improvements, but if you do… don’t blame the people of TweakXP, or for that matter, me for giving you the site address.  ^_^;; I’m just passing along a little information that has done me some good.  Don’t kill me… please…? Heh…

Wow, I feel better now that I’ve vented through my journal.  Ah, there’s nothing like a little self-induced therapy.

It’s all good…

-Engleman

August 11th, 2002
Listening to: Sophia – Little Cloud
Mood: Sickly

--Endless Summer Heat--

Whew, man it’s hot here.  Currently, I’m staying at my girlfriend’s house, where I have been for about the last month.  I’m really enjoying myself here, compared to my house.  Anyways, back to the heat thing.  For a couple of days, the temperature was actually fine, it was down into the 70s and I was enjoying it.  Then, all of a sudden, the temperatures are back up in the high 80 – low 90s.  I hate the heat and I always have.  If I had it my way, I think I would take Kristin and move into Nova Scotia, heh.  Who cares if it’s in Canada?  I hear it doesn’t get very hot there, and living by the sea would be pretty romantic, especially around the late fall to early winter.  Ahhh… dream on Robert. ^_^

Garbage Pail Kids: How many of you out there remember those cards that were distributed by TOPPS Card Company during 1985 till 1988?  Those cards were so gross looking, since they made parody of the Cabbage Patch Kids Dolls; the pictures on the cards reflected the overall theme of the Cabbage Patch Kids likeness.  I recently went on e-bay and saw a set really cheap, so my girlfriend happened to see them and she bought them for me.  I was feeling like a kid again when she told me she got them for me and when I got the cards, I had many memories come back to me over those little things.  I remember being so obsessed with them that I had to have everyone I could get my hands on.  So, in school, I would trade pencils and such things to a kid named Chad, who happily fueled my need for those cards.  I don’t remember if I had a full set or not, but I do know I had quite a few cards, maybe 200 or so cards.  As luck would have it, however, when I had to pack up to move to Alaska my cards somehow were either stolen or thrown away by my mom.  She never did like those things; she thought they were offensive.  Now things are starting to come together for me and I’m feeling motivated to start collecting them again, even if I am 20 years old. ^_^;;  So, in order to get some money to collect the cards, plus to earn some money for when Kristin and I move away from this area, I sold some of my rare Super Nintendo games, such as Final Fantasy II, III, Breath of Fire, Secret of Evermore, Earthbound, etc.  I earned up to about close to $200.00 all together, which is pretty impressive.  I still have quite a few I haven’t been able to sell on e-bay, so if anyone wants to know what I have, just email me at [email protected] and we’ll see what we can do. ^_^

Before the whole Garbage Pail Kids thing, I was showered with gifts from my love, she bought me quite a few things:

Devil May Cry
Dark Cloud

Shadow Hearts
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Parappa the Rapper

I was really happy about those gifts, really, really happy. ^_^  So, I thought I would return the favor and she picked out two authentic L’Arc~en~Ciel from Japan (not that Singapore crap), which are no longer made anymore.  They were:

True
Tierra

She’s already got True in the mail, but Tierra has yet to get here.  It should be here anytime though.

Anyhoo, I should get going, I’m gonna make me a CD of random J-Rock bands since I’m riding down to Rochester with Kristin tomorrow morning for a job interview.  Wish us luck ^_^ 

See ya soon

-Engleman                    



April 16th - 23rd 2002
Listening to: Gackt - "Wasurenai Kara"
Mood: Can't complain

April 16th - 18th --The Plague--

Good god... I have been sick for days and days.  It seems like it's been an eternity since the last day I actually felt "really good."  And it all started during my Philosophy class on the 16th.  Get ready for a story, folks... might wanna get something to drink and/or eat.  Here goes...

Everything seemed fine that morning for the most part.  Oh yeah...except I hadn't been asleep in close to 24 hours.  Nothing weird there.  At any rate, I got into the car with my girlfriend and we both headed off for our first class of the day, which is Philosophy.  Nothing out of the blue there.  When we arrived, we had to wait outside the room because the class in there previously never gets out on time.  Seems as if the professor in there gets off on it... who knows?

Anyways, after a nice 10 minute wait alongside Kristin, which was the only thing good about it, we were finally allowed to go in.  Everything was going well until about 20 minutes into the class and I started sweating.  Not the kind of sweating that someone does when they are hot, but the kind of sweat that makes a person think they're drying up inside out.  I swear, I was covered and I was the only one sweating.  I looked around myself as I wiped my forehead off on the back of my sleeve and then that's when it hit me: I have to throw up.  My first reaction to that feeling was that I wasn't gonna make it out the classroom to even regurgitate my breakfast.  So, I tapped on Kristin shoulder (since she sits right in front of me) and I asked her if I could have a drink from her water bottle.  She agreed and I drank as much as I could, hoping it would help.  It did, for about 3 minutes, before that sickening feeling flowed over me.  I made a mad dash for the door...

Once outside the classroom, directly to my right was a bench.  I stood there for a moment looking at it, and I'm sure those that were standing around me must have thought I had issues for standing so still for so long.  It looked so comfortable, so instead of running to the bathroom, I decided to just lay down across it and praying to myself that I didn't become a human geyser, spewing chunks of yester-meal into the air and onto those "spectators"  I was lying there for about a couple minutes when Kristin came out and asked me if I was ok.  No sooner did I open my mouth that the feeling of nausea flowed over me once again.  I simply answered, " Please show me where the bathroom is... cause I'm gonna puke."  So, she grabbed me by the back of my arm and led me to the bathroom.  I was so dizzy and each step felt like I was drunk... and not in a good way, heh.  So, I finally make it to the bathroom, and thank Kristin for helping me out in my "hour of need" and proceed inside.  Strangely enough though, once I stepped inside, I didn't feel that lump in my throat so I walked over to the sink and turned it on.  Just as I was cupping my hands in order to draw the water up to my face, an old man walked in.  He looked at me for moment and said, " How are you, young man? "  I felt like turning to him and just puking all over him in response, but instead, the words, " Just fine, you?" fell out my mouth.  Lack of sleep and the dizziness must have must have made my body say such a thing, cause that's not like me to just answer back politely.  Oh well.

After leaving the old man to the stall he just walked in (He must have been dropping the Jackson 5 off at a pool party, if you get my drift) I walked out and found Kristin waiting.  I smiled lightly and shook my head, just saying that I didn't blow junks in the bathroom and she led me back to the class.  I didn't go in however.  I decided to just sit on the bench and take it easy.  She asked me if I was going to be alright and I nodded, saying to her that she should go back in or the professor will think something's going on.  So, she did.  (Note: One of the beauties of college is that you can walk out for the most part and not have a reason other than, "Cause I want to.")  As I rested on the bench, that sitting I was doing quickly turned into sprawling out all over the whole bench in a matter of minutes.  I must have laid there for about 20 minutes before somebody came down to my end of the hall and sat back against the wall.  Again, something happened to me because of my sickened condition and I felt bad for the guy sitting on the ground while here I was, taking up the whole damn bench.  I wanted to sit up and let him get the other half but I thought if I moved unnecessarily, I was gonna spackle the floor with the Red Baron's finest that I had not hours ago that same morning.

About 40 minutes later, class was released and Kristin came out, telling me that our professor, Dr. Wichelns, had asked if I was alright.  It made me feel somewhat better knowing that someone cared, despite having never said anything nice to him myself.  So, Kristin led me down the hall and then gave me her keys, telling me that I should go out into her car and rest in there.  I was feeling like a little baby, so the first words that fall out of my mouth were, " Could you walk with me out there? "  Yeah, it surprised me too that I would say something like that, but she was the only one who really cared so my sissy side kicked in mucho quick.  She said she couldn't because if she was late for class, she'd get in trouble, so I said it was ok.  After kissing her bye, I decided to make my way to the parking lot outside.  Wobbling every which way, I bumped into a couch in the lounge on my trek to the vehicle.  I'm just glad no one was around to see it.

I made it to the car and got inside.  Happy to finally be sitting after that what seemed like the longest walk in the world, I put the keys in the ignition and turned the radio on.  I was treated to such shit on the radio as Britany Spears, Creed, Usher, and the ever-so-dying out bevy of boy bands, with a hint of Ja Rule.  How refreshing.  I sat in her car for about an hour before she came out to it and said she was done.  I was just happy to see her, thus exposing my sissy complex when I said what I was feeling.  To wrap up this day from there, we went to the mall, in which I forced myself to get up and walk around the stores with Kristin, who didn't think it was a good idea.  I do remember being awfully mean while in the mall, constantly sighing when she went into shoe stores looking for a pair of sandals.  I went from being a nice guy, to becoming a sissy, to being a full blown ass in a days time.  Talk about mood swings.  I was quiet for about 5 minutes when we went into Electronics Boutique, where I placed the ever-so-coveted Arc the Lad Collection on reserve.  I only had 30 dollars on me so I put it all down on it and left with my receipt.  Only 50 more bucks to go it said.  Well, isn't that special? EB's website said it was only $69.99, which kinda made me mad, but I just lived with it and we went home from there.

That night was horrible... I spent it in literal pain.

Finally, around 4 or 5 that morning, I fell asleep

The next day, I woke up and was pretty much the same condition, except the only think I seemed to be worried about was my birthday for some odd reason.  I don't remember much about that day, since I spent it laying around, resting.

That night proved slightly better; my body finally giving in to sleep around 2 in the morning.  Ah, what did I do to be so lucky?  I then woke up 6 hours later for school.

I was feeling nauseous when I woke up so I ran downstairs and drank some Pepto-Bismol.  I had that stuff, but it does work wonders when it wants to.  I then caught my ride with Kristin and proceeded to class.  But before we left, I was given my birthday presents by her.  They were great gifts, them being:

Two Final Fantasy VIII figures (Squall and Rinoa)
The MALICE MIZER + Gackt Complete Singles CD (SUGOI!!)
and a birthday card with $20 bucks in it (Oh yeah!!)

I was so happy that she got me what she did and I immediately listened to the MALICE MIZER + Gackt CD as we headed for class...

To make a long day short, I didn't go to class, but stayed in the car the whole time at a last minutes decision where I listened to the new CD and played electronic Yahtzee, while the time passed. 

My mother had given me 50 bucks to spend and I put it all towards Arc the Lad Collection.  I'll talk about that in a minute.  My real father and grandmother had both sent me 30 bucks each, which I have yet to spend.

That day was nice for the most part... it would have been better if I had not been sick, of course.

And so... I have been playing Arc the Lad Collection this whole time... in which I've already beaten Arc the Lad and I'm now on Arc the Lad II.

As far as the collection goes... it contained:

6 CDs (Though the box only says 5... WTF?)

Arc the Lad
Arc the Lad II
Arc the Lad Monster Arena
 
and of course...
 
Arc the Lad III
 
Not to mention...
 
Arc the Lad Making Of CD (which was the shortest, crappiest "Making of" by Working Designs that I'd ever seen!)
 
Of course there was an OMAKE BOX! (My brother Jesse called it a O-MAKE box, just like it looks, heh) It contained:
 
Memory Card Holder w/ 1 of 3 characters on it and of either red or black. (I got Elc of Arc II and it was black ^_^!!)
Rubber covers for the analog controller with the main characters of the games on them.  (Pretty nice, if not weird)
and last but not least...
 
Those little paper character cut-outs that WD is famous for!! SUGOI!!
 
I missed out on the watches... either that or I was stiffed.  Oh well.  They are only Arc collector memorabilia.  *cries* Oh well...

Thus concludes this journal entry...

If you read the whole thing and it entertained you, email me your thoughts...

If it took up your time and you can think of 10 other more creative things you could have done, email me still and rant about it... hey, it's the least I can do for taking about 20 minutes of your time that you'll never get back.

Who says I'm not a nice day?

-Engleman


March 8th - 13th 2002
Listening to: NEW SODMY - "Actor"
Mood: Pretty Good

--As the Dog Barks--

For the past few days, I've been doing a lot less school work, and a whole lot more recreational activities.  There have been a few reasons for this.  About a week ago, my girlfriend bought me Gackt's most recent concert DVD, "Requiem et Reminiscence".  We spent about 2 hours up in my room watching it together while the winds outside were howling like crazy, thus creating a very romantic mood.  I have to say that I hadn't been that relaxed in quite some time.  Hey... everyone needs a break every once in a while, eh?  Anyways... the DVD itself was a piece of work, his music ranging from the hardcore serious to the light-heartedness that we all know Gackt tries to hide in public.  I loved the costumes he wore, especially the Nazi-ish styled one he has on during the first mission (That's what he separates his songs into, there are 4 altogether.).  Most of the music he performed during that concert was from his "Rebirth" album, but there are some songs that he performs from his "Mars" album, such as U+K and ~Seki-ray~.  The song I liked the most on there was "Maria".  I loved the way it was choreographed and the lighting was perfect.  Now... I know you all want to know if it's worth buying... and I say it's definitely a keeper, heh.  A real masterpiece (although Kristin didn't always like the camera angles, hehehehe.)

Well... the fun didn't end there after receiving the new DVD.  Remember when I talked about the wind being romantic?  Well, just before Kristin left and I was walking her out to her car, I looked down the street and saw that a miniature pine tree had fallen in the road.  So, playing the tough guy, I decide to move the tree out of the road while the wind was blowing dirt and dust in my eyes.  What I endure for the people... Oh yeah... I got it out of the way and then I said my goodbyes to Kristin.  Then... just as I thought nothing else could go wrong, the electricity goes out, thus canceling my second viewing of Gackt's DVD short.  As soon as the power went out, my 16 year old sister let out a blood curdling yell and screamed out my name, which about scared the crap outta me.  Anyways, I ran downstairs as best as anyone could without light and "saved the day".  Mwahahaha... feel my power!!! Ahem.  About 2 hours later, the power came back on and I went to bed, seeing that all was well.  Thus ended my night...

A few days later I received my reimbursement check from college.  SUGOI!!!  Feeling all happy and special and stuff, I went to the bank and cashed it.  They took 5 bucks out of it because I wasn't a member of the bank, those crooks... Argh, anyway... I went to the P/X here on base and went shopping.  I didn't find much, but I did purchase the PS2 game, "Okage: Shadow King" and I have to say it's one of the funniest RPG's I've ever played!  To save myself from ranting on about the game, it's a whole lot like the SNES game, "Earthbound".  Cept... it deals with Shadows and Evil Kings... yeah.  Happy with my day, I went home to play my new treasure...

But as with all things in my life... something... just something...

...had to go wrong...

The power supply on my computer decides to burn up the fan and now my computer couldn't stay on for any longer than 45 minutes at a time because if would overheat.  As a safe guard... the computer automatically, when reaching a certain temperature, will shut down by itself, thus jepordizing my chances of completing and turning in an assignment online to my professor.  Well... I couldn't have that, could I? So... using my extremely...limited intellect, I was able to tear up an old fan a friend of mine gave me and was able to salvage the old power supply.  It worked and hasn't messed up on me since.  Whew... that took me about close to 2 hours to fix that, setting me back 2 hours I coulda been playing my new game with!!!!  Is there no God...?  Heh, not to me.

A couple of days later, it was time for me to return to school, which I did with a great lack of motivation.  Only good thing about college is that my girlfriend is in my Philosophy class.  But, as with all things in society, something has to go wrong.  There's this guy that goes to the same college I do and he's always hitting on Kristin, which I have to say is quite uncool.  I'm not the jealous type by any means because I don't see any competition, heh, so later that evening when we were going home, I teased her about the guy... and I was hit for it.  Lord, can she hit...  LOL.  Oh well... I call those "love taps".

Oh yeah... after class, we went to the mall and decided to visit Kristin's mom while we were there.  For the most part, I just sat there and joked around with Kristin and her mom a little.  My social anxieties prevent me from doing much else.  After saying goodbye to her mom, we then went shopping and she bought me the new Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust DVD... which was really cool of her BTW.  A beautifully done piece of work, if I do say so myself.  In return, with the little money I had, I bought us lunch and proceeded to make dumb noises and voices while she ate...

God, how I love her... ^_^

...and so here I am right now, typing this.... while my dumb dog is looking at me and my bird squawks in the background...

It's all good.

-Engleman