Welcome to Gentle Heart
Random Silliness: The Lord of the Math
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"I wish to be loved by another. And I desire no man's pity"
-Lady Eowyn of Rohan "Do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle heart, Eowyn!" -Captain Faramir of Gondor |
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| Okay, the deal with this is that the Rings of Power are being replaced by different types of math. In the end, of couse, the world will be rid of the evil math, and it will be safe for student's everywhere! |
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The Lord of the Math
The Mathspell
"Trigonometry was gifted to the Elven kings, wiser, and more patient than all. Algebra was received by the Dwarf lords, impatient and slow-witted. Geometry was given to the Mortal Men, who above all else, desire figures. Calculus was created by the Dark Mathematician in the fires of Mount X-squared. One math to rule them all. One math to lose them. One math to bring them all. And in it's numbers confuse them. It's the math of Mordor where the numbers lie."
The Fellowship of the Math
In Mathless-Earth, the maths were formed. The Elves, wisest and bravest of all beings, were given the math of trig. Algebra was given to the Dwarf lords, great miners, who hated its formulas. And geometry was given to the race of men, who are so easily seduced by its figures. But they were all of them deceived. For another math was made. In the land of Mordor, by the scholars of Mount X-squared, the Dark Mathematician Sauron wrote in secret, a master's math to confuse all others. And into this math he poured his numbers, his formulas, and his will to confound all life: One Math to rule them all.
One by one, the free peoples of Mathless-Earth fell to the power of the math. After torturing the free peoples of Mathless-Earth, trying to teach them his Calculus, a last alliance of Men and Elves marched to the Classroom of Mordor to take the Master Test of Calculus. It was in the moment, when the King of Men had failed the test, that Isildur, son of the King, took up his father's pencil. Sauron shattered the writing utensil to prevent Isildur from passing the test. The lead, still intact, he used to bubble in the last answer. All at once, with the test of Sauron complete, the dark Mathematician, enemy of the free peoples of Mathless-Earth, was defeated. The book of Calculus passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil math forever. But the hearts of Men are easily corrupted. The Calculus betrayed Isildur to drop out of school. The One Mathbook fell to the bottom of the Great River, and was lost for centuries. It's evil was a part of history class for many years to come, but soon it became legend, legend became myth, and for Two and a Half thousand school years, the Math passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, the math ensnared a new learner. The math was studied by the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the heart of the Misty Mountains to learn it by himself. Numbers crept back into the colleges of the earth, whispers of a nameless class. And the Math of Power perceived its time had now come. It gave an "F" to Gollum. But something happened then, the math did not intend. The most unlikely person imaginable, a hobbit, Bilbo Baggins of the Shire, registered for the class. For the time will come when hobbits will become the Head of the Departments of Math.
Did you like that? If it was funny, please let me know if you want me to finish it.
Other Humour
- Lord of the Math
- Lord of the Beth (or other one syllable name)
- Google Search for the Meaning of Life
- The point of the point
Lord of the Rings and everything related to it belongs to it's respective owners. In no way to I claim to own it.
