Constantly,
I am haunted by thoughts of evil
I can feel something wickedly tight and
Dreadfully strong tearing at my soul
It's the Beast within me, trying to take control.
Ah yes, Night has come.
As always, I will fight endlessly all Night
Against my very own nature to Survive
This intense hunger for Death
Which possess my very being
It consumes me, leaving my Spirit weak.
For me...
There is no peace
No comfort, no rest
My torment is Eternal Life.
Honestly...
It's not the Kill that I seek
It's only the Blood
And if I could keep myself from Killing
Then I wold allow myself to Feed again
Relieving this Endless Torture.
Yet I must learn to control my Lust for Blood or
At least be more calm and patient while feeding
Yes, for I know all too well
When that first rush from the Blood hits me
I become totally lost in the moment
Thus sucking my victim dry.
If only...
I could just harness the Blood Lust
Then maybe, just maybe-
I could allow myself to Live again
Even to Love again, and
To Feed again,oh yes! To feed again!
I have given up on that ever happening
Fact is, I have tried and Failed miserably.
Thus, I shall Live Forever,
Alone, in total Darkness
My Soul in constant Agony.
Nightly
I must rage this War against myself
A battle that must be won at all cost
To endure the Pain that not Feeding brings
Is almost unbearable
But I mustn't ever give in or
All shall be Lost.
Suddenly...
Like Magic, Poof!
She materialized out of no where
There she stood, Alone in the corner
This succulent, luscious Creature
She possessed such Mesmerizing Beauty
So Alluring, so Mysterious.
Her Eyes!
They Glowed, Effervescently
Like Burning Embers, as Radiant as She.
To gaze upon her almost Blinded me
Still, I couldn't take my Eyes off her.
She beaconed to me
From across the room
My first thought was
"Um, how delicious, Yum!"
But then that dreadful feeling
Came rushing in again
Hittting me like a Stake through the Heart
Slamming me back into Reality.
"No! I won't give into temptation!"
I told myself
So I looked away, Breifly
Only to turn back and
Find that just as she appeared
Poof! She had Vanished into thin air
And a heavy blanket of Sadness covers me
Completely.
~Monique {abridged version)
