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I could hear the noises long before I could see the shanty in the woods. There were bell-like noises chiming in the breeze. I had been told about that. The old lady had a bottle tree in her yard. It was actually a large bush and there were glass bottles of all sorts stuck on the ends of the branches. I don't know why she had it, but it looked like it had been there for an awful long time.
While my ears were listening to the glassy song, my nose was trying to sort out the scents it was meeting.
It could recognize asfoetida, donkey dung, lavender and pig mud. I was almost ready to turn around and get back to the road. NO! I got this far and I wanted to see if I could buy what I needed. The old lady had been running her store for many years. No one ever admitted that they had actually purchased something.
They would do that, "A friend of a friend of my cousin told me about it."
As I carefully edged my way towards what may have been a porch,(Or maybe just a pile of random lumber.)
a voice called out; "Ya sure ya know where ya are? Ya lost or somthin'?" This didn't sound like a little old ladies voice at all! Even if she was using a megaphone. This was a bellow! "C'MON IN! AIN'T GOT ALL DAY!"
I headed for the rectangle of darkness that could be a door.
At first, I couldn't see anything at all. Even the bright sunlight from the porch didn't cross into the doorway.
My voice came out like a kitten mewing; "Uh,,,hello? Am I in the right place?"
"GUESS THAT WOULD DEPEND ON WHAT YA LOOKIN' TO BUY. " A large shape appeared behind a table that was piled with bottles, jugs, pots and what looked like crab traps.
I cleared my throat and spoke, "Are you Madame Roux? Do you sell special potions and herbs?"
"YEAH! That's me, and I sold my Grannie just last week. Couldn't get much for her though. The blue book said she was in poor condition so she went cheap."
"okey-dokey", I whispered. "I just wanted to know if you had any of that Love Potion #9? A gallon or so?"
It was still so dim in there that all I could make out of her face was a little yellow glint off her gold capped tooth. She leaned under the table and pulled up a crock pot that was simmering and giving off an odor that was repulsive. "Well, lessee." She lifted up the lid and sniffed like it was fine wine. "Nope. The #9 isn't quite ready yet. But I got a huge batch of #8 ready to go." She leaned forward and pushed a gallon jug.
"This works almost as good as #9 and it has less side effects. Just mix it up with a tumbler of Jack Daniels and give it to the man of your likin'! By the third tumbler he oughta be chasing ya around the house. Ya do that until you're all out and by then, he's gonna think you're Miss America." I looked at the jug and the liquid in it seemed to be looking back at me. Good Lord! I saw it blink!.."Madame Roux? Is this really as good as #9?"
She crossed her arms over what might have been her chest, (It was still pretty dark in there.)
"HHHMMM,,,,Ya think that I would cheat ya? It's ALMOST as good as #9. With #9 he would propose marriage and buy you a big assed diamond.....and THEN he would chase ya around the house. This #8 sorta cuts to the chase, if ya know what I mean. If I was to sell ya the #7, the best ya could hope for would be a lot of hand-holding and maybe a cheap charm bracelet. If ya want to wait a week and come back, the #9 should be ready. If ya buy the #8 today, I'll give ya a coupon for 50% off the next purchase. I hope they told ya that this is a cash only establishment."
I dug in my purse and found $52. She grabbed it out of my hand and pitched the jug of #8 at me. I held it like it was a newborn baby and I backed out the dark room.
When I got to my car, I put it on the passenger seat. I started the car and looked over at the jug. It looked right back at me. I put the seat belt around it and locked it. I had to head for the liquor store now. This was going to take a big bottle of Jack Daniels.
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SWAMPETTA ([email protected])
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Copyright
July
2004
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Memories Of Home
Summer Sings To Me
You Made Me Love You
Summer Rhapsody
Baker's Woods
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