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Star Trek The New Voyages: World Enough And Time
"It's really just a giant flying hot plate" - Kevin on the Enterprise

Kevin and Bill team up and throttle a fan film, which stars George Takai and a few other Trek alumni. Sure it's probably mean to pick on such a production, but what the heck, the riffing is hilarious so in the immortal words of Joe Don Baker, "Go ahead on!" Of the 3 I watched tonight (Saw, I Am Legend) this was the brightest work. The riffers hit their stride right from the start when they tackle Takai (always a fun target) as Bill has him explain... "I'm not worried, I'm old!" and during the opening credits, the duo have fun with the introductory narration.

The new actors also receive their shots but in a playful way. Kevin corrects the guy playing Kirk on the correct Shatnerian delivery of a line, Spock's eyebrow acting is noted and Scotty's not very Scottish accent is delightfully teased. This really was a fun, lighthearted 'trax. Oh, and Bill does a hilarious callback to Plan 9 From Outer Space ("You stupid, stupid humans!") This comes highly recommended.

Saw
"Oh and there's a chipmunk in your hair strapped with dynamite!" - Bill, making fun of the killer's stupid, over-elaborate traps.

I hate this recent torture trend in horror movies and while Saw isn't the most graphic or bloody, with this genre it's not the violence on screen but rather the violence in the idea that bothers me. Had this been a bloodless G rated affair, I still would have found it ugly and cruel.

Unfortunately Bill and Kevin decided to riff on it. Fortunately the riffing isn't very good. Why is that a blessing? Because now I wont feel compelled to sit through this filth ever again. There are a handful of funny bits. The scene with the woman in the mask receives a few laughs and "Final Sacrifice's" Zap Rowsdower is referred to. I also laughed at the 'lying' sequence. But aside from that the riffing's pretty flat. You wont miss anything if you skip this 'trax (And if they ever do a Rob Zombie flick? I'm skipping it. They've finally found a type of movie I can't watch, despite the riffing)

Dark Water
Riffer: Matthew J. Elliott

"The comedy stylings of Miss Sylvia Plathe"

Dark Water is a ghost story set in all manner of dreariness and it stars Jennifer Connelly as a single mother trying to start a new life with her daughter while battling her ex for custody. It receives a riffing not from Mike, Kevin or Bill! Now, I love all the old pro's, but I've become very familiar with them and sometimes, just sometimes I can anticipate a riff before it lands. That's what's fun about a new riffer, surprises abound. British writer Mathew J. Elliott has a quiet, easy delivery. There's a very 'matter of fact' vibe and a dash of British sensibility that adds freshness to the project. But none of that would mean a thing if Elliott wasn't funny - thankfully he's funny as all get out.

Flying solo can be a tough row to hoe but Matthew handles it with aplomb giving his own spin ("There's no place like Homicidal") while drawing from the masters (He calls John C. Reilly the love child of Gene Hackman and Elmer Fudd. LMAO!). He teases the dialog well (I love the line about not having to worry about snipers when they shower) and can twist the reality nicely (The clever quip about "finger painting" was a work of art).

The movie is very one note and after a while that bleeds into the riffing. The rainy, gray atmosphere is targeted maybe too often. Though it is funny ("Drab is the new fabulous"). The movie also takes forever to end and Matthew sounded tuckered out by it all down the final stretch. Still, the new guy does a great job and I'd recommend giving it a listen.

Star Trek the New Voyages: To Serve all my Days
"It's Shatnerriffic!"

Bill and Kevin tackle another fan made Star Trek flick and while it's not as complete a success as the first, there are still laughs a plenty. The last ep gave us the original Sulu, this one features Walter Koenig. It's pretty dull as there are many scenes of Chekov literally talking to himself. Riff highlights include Bill's first Captain's log entry (about dating grandma), an uproarious running Spockenstein gag. Mocking the medical instruments (A tube of lipstick and a slide whistle), Kirk's teeth trying to escape his face - Above them all are the funny jabs at the actor playing Scottie ("I've diverted power from my accent") and Kevin's superb impression of the Simpson's comic book nerd.

The spacecraft related jokes are a laugh as well from the cute hat the Klingon ship wears to urinating vessels - and Bill's riff, "This thing has fewer controls than a garden hoe!" put me in stitches. Good stuff.

House of Wax
Riffer: Matthew J. Elliott

I like this Matthew Elliott. He pretty sharp and I must admit, I was attempting to get through Bill and Kevin's "Alien" and wasn't digging it, so I switched over to this one and immediately received the laughter I desired. That's saying a lot when you can trump the pros.

House of Wax is a scary movie that doesn't offer much thrills or chills. Though at one point Elliott quips, "You could cut the tension with some kind of tension cutting device"- Ha Ha Ha! One of the stars is Paris Hilton who is wretched and such an easy target that Matthew hammers away at her without breaking a sweat. Plastering Paris isn't all Elliott's got though, and he proves this right from the opening sequence when he quickly takes notice of a chocolate Jason Voorhees head and later chastises the backing singers for exacerbating an already anxious moment.

I liked the way Matthew casually drops the line about how he "already forgot what just happened" on screen (the movie really is that unmemorable) and that a slack jawed yokel has more Myspace friends than he. He also delivers a funny reference to Cinematic Titanic that I got a kick out of.

All this and there's a dude who talks to his knife. How much more joy could you want. It's another winner from the Brit, I'd love to hear him riff with Mike on one of these.

Alien
Riffers: Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy

"Only the Emo berserker in her soul can save them now!" - Bill
The dry Alien receives a dry riffing. Good material pokes it's head up every once in a while -like Kevin's hilarious Randy Newman impression- and there are a number of bits that flat out fail (The tick gag). But for the most part this is MOR.

I liked the nods to MST that Bill was oblivious too; the kitty quips and the storage room that houses the Ark of the covenant and Dr. Doom were cute as well. Aside from that, the notes I jot during a viewing were pretty slight. Alien didn't leave a big impression.

X-Files: Fight the Future
Riffers: Mary Jo Pehl and Bil Corbett

"Mary Jo? What about his MEN!?" - Bill
Bill and Mary Jo make a great pair, MJ always sounds like she's tickled by the inane stuff she sees on screen and Bill is upbeat and sarcastic. The 2 play off one another well and have a gas tweaking Texas, mocking the mumbling, the silly names, conspiracy theories (Hitler fixed the Oscars) and Scully's Catholicism.

The opening sequences where the kids stumble upon an underground cave are the strongest. I got a kick out of the fire fighter -"Captain Fire, every kids favorite superhero" - MJ- squealing about "My Men!" and Mary Jo's line, "Mm, they really capture the lush beauty of North Texas".

The riffing tails off as it goes but the work on X-Files is solid overall, and a special guest stops by to drop off a riff for added dash of spice. The funny is out there and well worth a listen.

Spiderman 2
Riffers: Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy and Josh Fruhlinger

"And now a pigeon craps on his head" - Bill after Peter's string of bad luck

Wow, fresh off the failure of Ocean's 11, Rifftrax lobs this marginal offering in our laps, as the strongest Spider-Man movie receives the weakest riffing.

Josh Fruhlinger, who writes a comic strip mocking blog, adds little to nothing here. During the operation scene he has a saw wielding Doctor command, "So chop him in half, pronto!" Ugh - and this is just one in a surplus of lame-o quips offered up by Josh, Kevin and Bill.

Thankfully there is a sprinkling of the spectacular. MJ bashing was as fun as ever (and well deserved too I might add) and the scene where Otto puts on his demonstration at OsCorp provided some life. Later as Peter has dinner with Otto, and he and his wife grill Parker on his love life, Bill gets in a screamer -"My Summer Glau poster and I are pretty serious"- Corbett also gives up another 'Kids in the Hall' joke ("I'm crushing your head") and clever references to John Henry and Buster Keaton. But these funny pieces are sandwiched between some bland material.



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The Day After Tomorrow
Riffers: Bill & Kevin

"The official Abbott and Costello of the Apocalypse" - Bill

If there's ever been a movie that was asking for it, it's this one. So I was a little disappointed that Bill and Kevin let it off the hook for the most part. Instead of giving this bloated self-important hack job a big punch in the puss, the duo load up on the reference material. Every movie the actors starred in is noted, look a likes from Lady Deathstrike to Seth Rogan are pointed out. If a bit of dialog connects to something on film or TV the riffers are right on it - it's a veritable tidal wave of pop culture! Don't get me wrong, much of this is very funny but it's the kind of thing that they've done a lot and there's a cut and paste quality to this type of comedy, it could be stuck anywhere with any movie. I'd have preferred they targeted the film and its themes specifically.

There are a few moments where they do this. As when they attack the logic of burning books in a Library to light a fire, when there's perfectly good wooden chairs and tables to be had. Or when Bill observes a slow moving Tsunami. But I needed more, a lot more of that Bill Corbett anger and that Kevin Murphy snark.

When they do attack they often direct their ire at a Dick Cheney look-a-like (who also happens to play the Vice President). Unfortunately they go the "schoolyard childish" shtick by belittling his name (Prick Schwaynie). M-eh, I expected a better, wittier tactic.

The trax is definitely not PC early on. Neither Lynyrd Skynyrd nor a bald kid with cancer is immune, and these bits are dark but earned the biggest laughs. Overall it's not a bad trax and I laughed often. But for a film that's been long requested and anticipated I wanted better than merely passable. I wanted epic, end of the world, sharper than nails, -run Roland Emmerich through the wringer- style of riffing.

Edit: I watched this again and in spite of my nitpicks, there's an awful lot of funny material. Allow me to amend my review - despite the fact that certain riff expectations were not met, what Kevin and Bill offer is very good and I'd recommend giving it a listen.

Dirty Dancing
Riffers: Cole Stratton & Janet Varney

"Oh, so this is what hell is like?" - Cole
Dirty Dancing is one of my least favorite flicks, and it must be one of Mike Nelson's least favorites as well since in his introduction he mentions that he didn't want the pleasure of riffing on it. Therefore he hands the reigns over to comedians Cole Stratton and Janet Varney

This is the second non-MST alumnus to record a 'trax without one of the big 3 present. Matthew Elliott was the first and while I didn't find Janet and Cole's commentary as funny as the Brits, they were good. Dancing is contrived, cliched and dull and the duo treat it with smart-alecky disdain. Teasing every aspect of the characters and story was the right choice.

I enjoyed the way Janet has Baby refer to herself in the 3rd person (Baby hide!) and the sound Cole makes for a squirrelly guy who has the hots for Baby. The "bridge nightmare" sequence is clever as was Janet's line, "It's like "Groundhogs Day" for armpits", during a repetitive dance scene.

They overdo the nose job jokes and if you don't like puns then this might not be to your liking (they lean on them frequently). But for the most part this was an entertaining 'trax and a good time is always had when you can make fun of Patrick Swayze (often shirtless again- which lead to one of the funniest bits concerning Pat putting on a shirt but losing the pants)

Die Hard
Riffer: Matthew J. Elliott

"Ah urinal cake, what a lousy birthday that was"
Starts off solid with quips about the Blofeld chair, Josh Groban and some self-depreciating humor about that unfunny English guy who thinks he can do Rifftrax. After that, things get a bit jagged.

On the negative: Repetitive lines about Bruce's movies and hairline (less hair than Homer Simpson? Actually it was fuller at this point in his career, it might have been better to attack that smug look on his face). The MST references - aside from a great Ben Murphy joke, they weren't particularly fitting and felt like they were shoehorned uncomfortably in there. At times the jokes simply made no sense (Man ass? Not really, a bag obscures it. And the joke about stripper poles would have worked... If they looked like poles and not square beams!)

On the positive: The riffs, "Send in the car" - "And if that fails the clowns are still on rout", and after an explosion... "The Sgt. Pepper's of screw you's". I found some clever reference material (Ian McShane, Touched by an Angel, and a beautiful Robert Davi/007 quip). There's a sports team called the "A-holes", a great rant at the end when the cop kills the last terrorist, as well as a quip I could relate to, "Well I'm stumped, but I can't tell the difference between Tilda Swinton and Cate Blanchett". I count myself as a Matthew Elliott fan, and while I found this a bit hit and miss, the good outweighs the bad.

Tron
Riffers: Johnathan Coulton, Paul & Storm

"...then a friendly hippy will likely throw it back to you" - Unknown rifer on those Frisbee weapons.
I've heard Paul and Storm when they'd guest on morning radio programs. Never found them very funny. Didn't find them very funny here either. They are joined by Jonathan Coulton, I don't know who he is and with everyone's vocal inflection and delivery all sounding the same, I couldn't tell what riffs where his - not that it mattered. Laughter was in short supply on this rifftrax, a few smiles here and there, it wasn't until the 18-minute mark that I actually laughed out loud (a line about Flynn on a respirator). Though I found a few bright spots ("Wait, I want to Digg that clip" and great quip about Brett Favre) it's generally insipid comedy, with humor riddled with sexual innuendo and limp references. As for the movie itself, Tron is dated, a mild curiosity when I saw it in theaters, it remains the same today.

Ghost
Riffers: Cole Stratton & Janet Varney

"Okay Patrick just give us your best Don Knotts face" - Janet
Janet and Cole return after a decent quipping on another Swayze flick, "Dirty Dancing". The work runs along the same lines - it has its slow sections and a few running gags didn't click (the 3rd nipple bit) but there are also enough peaks to make both their 'trax pretty fun. I like Janet's dumb guy voice; in fact I like a lot of Janet's quirky idiosyncratic comments. Cole's good too (funny cat voice) but I found that most of my laughter came after a comment from Janet... "Here, I brought you a giant shuttlecock!" and "The White Album� The movie!"

Patrick Swayze is limited as an actor, he always looks gassy - when he's looking lovingly at his gal, when he's upset, when he was shot... always gassy. So you�d think they'd zero in on that and never let up, but the riffing is varied, and they actually go after Demi's boyish look more often. Having quipsters like these two and Mathew Elliott keeps things fresh in the Rifftrax world and I hope we get more because it puts the Swayze in me.

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