Rifftrax: Cloverfield
"Oh wow, it looks so real because it's filmed so poorly" - Mike
    I guess I�m strange, because while the message boards buzzed over how the last 2 films were well deserving of a nasty riffing. I was of the opposite mind, I completely and utterly love the movie Spider Man 3, and I soon discovered that I was pretty enthralled with the story that unfolded in Cloverfield. The tale of a giant monster attack as seen through the lens of a hand held camera was pretty damned chilling. And I found myself getting so involved in the movie that I couldn�t focus on the jokes.
    Once I watched the film sans Mike, Kev and Bill. I took another stab at the Trax and discovered the merry quipsters at the top of their game. The unadulterated joy the guys seemed to be having at this movies expense made for a whale of a good time. There were lots of quick punch line-like responses to the dialog and action. The dim witted �Hud� is a constant source of riffcentric hilarity, actually the entire cast earns a laugh: From Bill wondering, �How do these people dress themselves?� (Which gets Kevin laughing) to Mike�s observation on a female characters manner of speech: �She and Matthew Perry could have a nervous yammering-off� and his disappointment in the lack of �Delightful Hobo�s�
    There was a cute callback to Escape 2000 and was Bills order to �Dance� a reference to the Film Crew�s �Wild Women of Wongo�? I liked the musical quotes; especially when Kevin goes off on the Kiss ballad �Beth� and pop culture is smartly folded into the movies reality (Dr. Phil, the Dick Van Dyke show, Ghostbusters). Aside from the early reliance on �wang� jokes, this is one of my favorites from the gang. Scary flick - mirthful riffing. It�s a win/win. Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: I Am Legend
�If Ingmar Bergman made a horror film� - Kevin
    Legend is a level down from the last couple of releases; it�s a middle-of-the-road effort that still provides a few big guffaws. Bill especially gets to deliver some great lines, such as when a character asks� �Give it to me in a nutshell�, and he adds� �When squirrels talk dirty�. He He, I also loved how he compared Baseball manager Lou Pinella to an angry rat and I got to laughing at his disappointment that the world ended before �Batman and Superman Got Married� was released (Note the billboard in the background).
    The riffing takes aim at the downbeat mood and slow pace of the movie and Kevin offers a cute nod to �Groundhog Day� (singing �I Got You Babe�) but likewise there are a lot of draggy sections where the laughs dry up. The work is not as weak as �Indiana Jones� but runs along the same lines as a �Next� � okay but not spectacular. Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Two Towers
�That�s it boys, kick him right in the precious!� � Kevin
    I know it�s hailed as a classic, but for me this film was a chore to sit through. I just couldn�t take all the slow motion and heavy, overwrought dialog (�Free verse is tiring� � Mike). It took me 3 days to get through it and I felt the sting of every labored, slow moving minute. It wasn�t until the end, when the movie actually started to move that I was able to just sit back and enjoy the riffing without pause.
    Despite it taking me a while to get through it there are big laughs to be had. The reference material they used was stunning in its brilliance. From Bill noting Frodo�s emo-like attitude and actions (�Man, your harder to travel with than that diving bell butterfly guy�) to the scene where the King is prevented from killing a foe and Mike observes that when Spiderman let a bad guy go, it all worked out fine (so there obviously will be no repercussion�s here. LMAO). Hildalgo, Little Mermaid and Steve Bartman/Cubs all provided ample laughs.
    As do scenes where they mock the script (Mike�s �Bloody Ink� poem) and skew the situations on screen (Bill saying, �He does need to work on his dismount� as a child falls exhausted from a horse). The running gags about Legolas looking like a girl are still as side splitting as they were in the �LOTR�.
    I felt the riffing got even stronger down the stretch --- or maybe it was because the movie stopped boring me to tears. Whatever the cause, I laughed like mad and finally got to enjoy this Trax in full. The biggest guffaw for me was during the emotional, slow death of an Elf. I don�t know if it was the incongruity of the statement in light of what was going on, or the expression the character wore, but when Bill quips� My God, I lived my whole life without making a single fudge stripe cookie� I about died. I laughed so hard I had to rewind the disc because I missed the riffs that came after. I know it�s an old joke, but it fit perfectly and Bill delivery was spot on.
    So the movie taxed my precious patience to the breaking point, but I still found much to enjoy with the riffing. Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: The Sixth Sense
"So Duluth is mostly dead people?" - Mike
    Watching the Sixth Sense in theaters was quite an experience and seeing the movie again, even with the quipsters, I found that I still enjoyed it. But to heck with that noise, I�m not here to review the film. Good, bad or wretched all that matters to me when I listen to a Rifftrax is the Rifftrax. It�s not the movie, it�s how our gang of riffers reacts to the movie and Mike, Kevin and Bill have some amazing reactions to this M. Night Shyamalan classic (yes I said it, classic).
    Packed to the rafters with clever material, it called to mind the work done on MST3Ks Jack Frost because it�s smart, well written and the lines are delivered with impeccable timing. Old chestnuts are given a new and funny twist (Bill�s Luthor/Thesis crack) and pop culture references are pertinent and not simply throw out randomly (�I Am, I Said� and a penniless John Edwards). There are also a few nice quotes from Cloverfield, and as to be expected Bruce Willis and Shyamalan take their shots. Though the Demi jokes seem a bit dated, there are a few that work (The bit about the guy from �Punked�).
    The Sixth Sense was not only a movie I enjoyed but is now the backdrop for one of the best �trax I�ve ever heard. While it isn�t unusual for an individual episode or commentary (From MST to CT) to ebb and flow, this one is consistent from start to finish and I�d strongly recommend it. Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
"Man the crotch splinters! I have to get this thing sanded." - Bill on Harry's Broom
    The first stab at Potter was good, even and enjoyable. Not top 10 material but solid. The 2nd try is better, steady from start to finish. The work opens strong, I love John Lennon/Beatles quips and this one features a few knee slappers (Like the pic with John, Yoko and Sean). It then moves along at a brisk pace with magical quips popping up here and there. I liked the stuff about Mud Bloods (�Settle down muddy!� Kevin to Hermione), and those directed at Kenneth Branagh�s hammy, lipless acting. I also like how they point out the parts where adults stand by helpless as pupils are put into peril. Why the hell did Hagrid send Harry and Ron into a forest full of man-eating spiders?
    A few other moments I enjoyed were Mike�s riffing on Kevin, a great Jiminy Glick impression and the end sequence with all the mad clapping. That was a great way to go out guys.
    The movie runs long and therefore I watched it over the course of 2 nights. I also tried the Rifftrax player for the first time, and despite having to fight with the volume on the movies dialog, I did eventually manage to get the audio squared away and for the most part the player worked and made the viewing experience easier (much better than having to synch up my laptop with my TV). Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Memento
�Now back to Total Recall� � Bill, as forgetful character watches TV
    Memento is one of the best movies they�ve ever riffed on and that makes for a challenging �trax. Not for Mike, Bill and Kevin but for the viewer. The convoluted story roped me in and I often found myself drifting away from the jokes and concentrating on the film.
    A second viewing helped and even though this isn�t one of their finest moments, it�s a decent trax. Bill delivers the most consistently funny lines, while Kevin earns the prize for his hilarious Columbus quip. The references were a lot of fun� a hidden Nina, Dr. Phil, the song Carrie Anne as well as Bruce McCullough (The 2nd one I�ve heard this week � Has someone been watching the �Kids in the Hall�?)
    It was difficult to find a quote to post at the top of the page because most of the riffing plays off dialog from the movie. (Lenny: �I�m not a killer� � Kevin: �I�m a reincarnation initiator�). Of course they draw plenty from the premise (Conversations with Jason Bourne and the pain in watching Adam Sandler flicks over and over again). The first half was good, the second was stronger. I laughed most during an expletive laced argument between Lenny and Natalie, and Kevin digging on the soundtrack was both annoying and cute. Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Oceans 11
�They trained for this by watching Miley Ciruses new DVD, �Stacking Your Money Efficiently�� - Richard
    Richard Cheese, a name unfamiliar to me, joins Mike on this excursion. I guess he has a comedy lounge act and unfortunately he can add this weak rifftrax to his resume. I liked the first 3 minutes, with Clooney in prison and then leaving (with swing jazz walking music). The first 3 minutes held promise; the remaining 114 spoiled that promise.
    Maybe it was that a lot of the jokes were too obvious and simple. I know I�ve laughed at obvious lines in the past, but these lacked punch. Even when the material was clever, as when Mike takes a poke at gas prices by suggesting that Bernie Mac�s cross country drive would cost him 19 thousand dollars, or later when a guy and a gal get tangled up in the park and he warns �Careful a romantic comedy could break out� � these are cute but not real side splitting.
    Generally I like humor that surprises me, I like humor that�s sharp as a tack� I like humor that makes me laugh out loud, hell I�d have taken humor that at least made me smile! The work on Oceans 11 was greeted by the sounds of silence, not the song but literally my silence. I did find a handful of goodies (For example, the quip about gambling theories based on Kenny Roger�s songs) but mostly it was duds. Cheese�s got a nice voice but his delivery is indistinct and there was little inflection, which made even his best jokes sound bland. Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Pirates: Curse of the Black Pearl
�Now he�s just shouting random syllables in a Pirate voice!� � Mike
    Rifftrax has hit the skids lately. Ocean�s 11 was one of their worst and Spiderman 2 wasn�t much better and the last really great one was the Sixth Sense. Thankfully Pirates put �em back on course.
    The first half hour was a treasure. The guys are in read and react mode - responding and adding to the dialog with one snappy quip after another. Pirates is the only one of the trilogy I liked so I didn�t mind them going this rout rather than ripping the movie to shreds. They did get a little to mean spirited in regards to Kiera Knightley�s chest area (and over did it) but they righted the ship with great quips directed at Walt Disney and company.
    There�s a couple digs at forum members that I thought were cute and while the jokes didn�t seem to lean as heavily on pop culture references as in the past, there were plenty of good ones (�The greatest cinematic battle since Pee Wee fought Francis!� � Mike). The riffing doesn�t keep up with the frantic funny of that first half hour, but its very good work to the end and it was nice to hear my hearty laughter again.

Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: Iron Man
�Okay Tobor start talking or we take out the Allan wrench!� � Bill
    The riffing on Iron Man starts off slow and only improves marginally as it goes. The problem is that they guys seem to have a tough time getting into the rhythm of the film. There are too many cheap and obvious Robert Downey Jr. addict jokes and then they do this Stark as rebel shtick that doesn�t work either. Bill acting as a translator during the cave scene was funny and there were a few chuckles here and there, but overall my reaction to this half was lukewarm at best.
    It picks up there after as they seem to work harder to tap into the flavor of the film, during a scene when the villains are holding hostages and screaming at Iron Man, Kevin makes a funny quip about how these guys would make great auctioneers. And later Bill has Tony announce, �Hey my hole itches!� But they also just as often lose the vibe. For example, voicing the quick and clever Pepper Potts as dumb and confused by computers doesn�t fit and therefore isn�t funny.
    The best off-the-beam comment was when Mike had baddie Obadiah Stane angrily shout, �It�s not a paper it�s a USAToday!� I wish this witty barb were the rule and not the exception. This is an average Rifftrax. Of Note: A riff that is already irrelevant, after a scene that hint�s that Rhodes will be wearing the armor in the next film, Kevin says, �Terrance locks up his role in the sequel�. The day before this was released it was announced that Don Cheadle replaced Howard for the role.

Streaming Video Beta Test: Hulk: The Final Round
�The Hulk hu? Y'sure that's not just an enthusiastic Jets fan who got drunk and fell asleep up there?� � Bill
    Rifftrax is testing a new way of delivering the funny and the first taste is free! Bill, Kevin and Mike flex their comedy muscles and smash an episode of the Hulk TV series. I�ve felt that Rifftrax has hit a low point in the past month or so and have been upstaged in the wit department by their counterparts at Cinematic Titanic. Maybe its that they are putting out a lot of product in a short amount of time, and that has taken the edge off their keen minds? I don't know but I�ve been finding their humor rather prosaic and tired (I could have skipped Spidey 2, Oceans 11 and Iron Man and not missed much).
    But with the Hulk the guys prove they still have what it takes. Why is this an improvement? Because they are delivering quips that are germane to the story and the characters, and in doing so it sounds like they are putting some thought into the commentary and not just tossing out the same old routines. When a couple of street toughs spot Banner, Mike spouts, �Let�s go make him angry�, which is a simple line but so spot on to the premise of the show (people were always going out of their way to make David mad).
    I like how Kevin refers to Bill Bixby�s pants as Flairs (do they even call them that anymore?) and when Bill observes a screaming woman (a show staple) he offers, �She�s fine with big green men, but slow motion scares the hell out of her�. The episodes a knock off of the film Rocky and the guys have fun with that fact as well. Good solid, fast and furious riffing. It�s clever, the jokes are delivered like a right cross and maybe Rifftrax should target shorter material more often, as they really do brilliant work when not saddled with 2+ hours of movie.
    As for the streaming media, it worked well. I was on a slower connection and it only stuttered once. It�s a capitol idea and one I hope they exploit in the future. Check out video here (while you can) Streaming Hulk EDIT: Due to technical difficulties, the free sample is down. They are offering it for sale.

The Happening
�Behold my dramatic lemur eyes!� - Mike
    I was simply stupefied by how terrible this movie was. Could the same man behind the 6th Sense and Unbreakable actually have created this train wreck? Not since Preston Sturges has a talented director so completely lost his voice. When a little girl goes up to speak to Mark Wahlberg�s character, our riffers have her say� �Don�t look now but this is worse than Lady in the Water�. Funny � but Lady at least had some competent acting, The Happening can�t even boast that. Wahlberg is locked into condescending mode and poor Zooey Deschanel (an actress I usually like) appears bewildered and wears the expression of someone whose come to the sudden realization that she�s made the worse career choice of her life. �How did I get here and can anybody get me out?�
    The movie certainly gives the gang a lot to work with and they take advantage of the situation for the most part. I generally enjoy riffing that gets into the rhythm of a movie, and targets it specifically, rather than tossing out excessive and generic fart jokes or what not. Mike, Bill and Kev find their rhythm here and while not as great as the workout on Shyamalan�s 6th Sense, The Happening provides ample laughs.
    M Night trying to horrify comes of funny instead and one of the guys note how one scene reaches Monty Python levels of silly. They also point out how lame it is to have the wind as your primary movie effect. Hotdogs and lions and plants that spout threats are all part of the riffing equation. And Mike gave me my biggest laugh when he has Deschanel warn a child, �If you misbehave�� and then he makes a windy whooshing sound. Brilliant!

Discuss this rifftrax here

Rifftrax: The Crystal Skull
�Can no one stop the doddering grandpa?� � Bill
    Though not the load �The Happening� was, Indy�s return was still a load. I�m glad I skipped it at theaters. The riff-work is decent enough. Not spectacular but a vast improvement on their first attempt in �Raiders of the Lost Ark�. The comedy styling consists of character slams. Harrison gets the traditional �old fart� quips and they still work quite well, as when Mike notes that he runs like he�s got a loaded diaper. Shia receives a few shots but surprisingly they didn�t deliver a knock out. I rarely laughed hard at the riffs leveled on the guy. Cate Blanchette also gets through with barely a scratch and I was disappointed that I didn�t get to hear one Bob Dylan reference. Instead they go the Emo Phillips rout with her (which was cute).
    References were pretty fun and eclectic. Both Brando�s Wild One and 007 are referred to, but not in an obvious way that would be understood by folks who weren�t familiar with the films. I also liked Bill�s line about �I Love the 80s� and the fact that he mentions Arch Hall Jr. (Though he wasn�t there for Eegah, its effects are felt by those who came years later)
    While there are good riffs, there were also a lot, and I mean a lot of dead spaces where I was zoning out from a lack of laughs. A few jokes have simply gotten stale. For example - The bit where the guys hum the adventurous theme during dull spots in the film is an oldie that has run its course, and like the cop/donut jokes it should be retired.

Rifftrax: X-2: X-Men United
�We have a demon or an imp! Repeat, a demon or an imp!� � Bill as Secret Service agent tracking Nightcrawler.
    Rifftrax has now covered 3 of my top 5 superhero flicks (They�ve yet to tackle Nolan�s Batmovies). So far Spidey 2 sucked, Iron Man was M�eh and X-Men 2?
    It opens real strong at the White House: Mike riffs on a portrait (�JFK�s ashamed of him�) and later, as Nightcrawler �Bamfs� like crazy he suggests that, �This power would be handy at Packer games� (Ha, Ha. I always enjoy a good poke at the Packers, being a long time fan and all). After this volley I found the work lost some of its special power.
    On the bad there�s the usual proliferation of blue humor and a few lame gay jokes but the main problem might be that 2+ hours requires too much effort, I was just plumb worn out at an hour or so and at the 94-minute mark all laughter had died in me and I had to shut it down.
    Upon my return the next day, refreshed, I was able to dig on the �trax again and what I noticed in the 2nd half is that they engage the subject matter quite nicely. Wolverine gets waylaid a lot. They also have Rogue (or as Bill calls her, �Power Sucking Girl!�) offering Magneto a prostate exam and the Nightcrawler stuff is generally fun (�Now do the Fuhrer� he says after Mystique imitates his German accent). They of course revisit the Cerebro/Magneto line, this time out it�s funny to hear Bill�s frustration when Mike and Kev get the names mixed up (Magneto is Cerebro in Mike�s world). Sometimes they tease too hard (hey, I love this stuff) but that comes with the territory.
    My suggestion if you find you�re interesting waning, break this one into two parts (now if only Jack Perkin�s had shown up for MST Hour-like host segments). Doing that made it far more enjoyable. It leans too heavily on the juvenile to be a great success but overall I'd rank it as a decent effort.

Rifftrax: The Dark Knight
�Thing was expensive and never caught a single moth� � Mike as Jim Gordon standing by the Bat signal
    Great movie, weak riffing. That�s the bottom line. Trax has popped off on other movies I love with mixed results. Spider-Man is my 2nd favorite trax, Casino Royale was fair while the Dark Knight is mostly a dud.
    Apart from the introduction they don�t get too snarky on those of us who think this is a great film. There�s not even a lot of digs at comic fans (for those who feared they�d do that). On the meh side of things we get a few familiar and tired drug jokes, easy pokes at clowns, imitating Chinese accents, teasing Maggie Gyllenhaal�s looks and the lame names they come up with for Two Face (Donkey Nuts? Seriously that�s the best you guys can come up with). Joker in a nurse�s uniform? That should have been gold but they dropped the ball. Hell, my 6-year-old niece could have written sharper material.
    On the good there�s a Prince of Space call back that was funny as were the bits about Fox spying on people. I liked the cute line about Ledger channeling Caesar Romero and there is a smattering of funny riffs here and there. But what�s weird is that things didn�t get steady until the end. This film was 153 minutes long and Mike and Co. only really revved it up on the final 15.