WHAT ONCE WAS
MINE
My life has overwhelmed
me
theres no
where I can hide
my dreams and expectations
have all been pushed
aside,
What
once was in my grasp
my future that I
see
is now just a vision
with no reality,
It
came without no
warning
and tore my heart
in two
the perfect life
I thought I had
was nothing without
you.
My
eyes are wet with
sorrow
my body filled with
pain
the life Id
planned for you
and I
could never be the
same,
If
life would have
no limits
and I could turn
back time
Id do my best
with all my might
to keep you always
mine
HIDDEN
HEART
From
the first day we
held hands,
to the last day
we said goodbye,
i'll never forget
those momets,
i'll never forget
those times.
No
matter how bad you
hurt me,
I stood by you,
no matter how much
you lied,
I said they where
the truth.
I
wish I never knew
you,
I wish all what
happened wasnt true.
But it is
and i did.
Sometimes
I think what life
would be like,
if I had my whole
heart,
if i never told
you how much i cared.
it's hard to imagane,
how simple my life
was before,
knowing you.
52
CARD LIFE
Life is like a deck
of cards
You take what you
can get
There is a little
secret though
That I hope you'll
never forget
It's
not how many good
cards you have
It's how you play
the bad
And if you fold
to soon
You may loose something
good you had
To
put this advise
in other words
To say again what
it means
Don't ever give
up on anything
Especially your
dreams
A
DREAM OF LOVE
What
I want most is what
I fear.
The dream Im
supposed to follow
I dont believe
in.
Im not strong
enough to hold back
that one tear.
Theres too
much going on under
the skin.
Emotions are conflicting
everywhere inside,
Creating a disastrous
war.
This pain is my
choice to hide.
I forgot who Im
dreaming for.
The skin is just
the physical protector,
But what protects
the fragile heart,
When the body is
just a specter,
And the hurt keeps
you far apart?
I
dont deserve
what I want,
Yet Im powerless
to stop this dream.
Spirits from my
past continue to
haunt
And I feel I will
never be redeemed.
But this resilient
dream is too strong.
Maybe Ill
gain hope once again.
And even though
it might be wrong,
It could be worth
it, my friend.
So take my hand
and come with me.
Together we will
face tomorrow.
Although not all
dreams come to be,
The dream of love
is worth our sorrow.
INSIDE
She's
always yearning
for something that's
not there,
That goes beyond
the makeup and hair.
To find the true
me,
That even I don't
see.
An absence inside
her mind,
Hoping oneday somebody
will find.
Being insecure,
And her heart is
hurt and sore.
Tired of getting
put down,
And always leaving
the conversation
with a frown.
What's the use of
trying anymore,
She's just going
to find another
locked door.
People don't realize
how hard it is for
me, (she says)
It's just another
side that no one
else sees.
A
MOTHERS QUEST
In
Heaven I hope that
there will be
A special place
for Mothers... We'll
see...
Wake up each day,
is there time to
pray?
Lord, help me get
through one more
day.
Coffee made, breakfast
started
Already my mind
and I have parted.
Get them dressed
and on their way
Dear Lord, convince
me that there is
a way.
Eat your lunch,
take your nap.
Dear Lord, around
me, your arms please
wrap.
It's practice time,
where's your hat?
And don't forget
your baseball bat.
Dinner will be a
little late.
Mind yourselves,
I'll be home at
8.
Pick up your mess
and take your bath.
You really don't
want to face Mom's
wrath.
Say your prayers.
PLEASE! Go to sleep!
(They don't understand
that I'm dead on
my feet.)
Meals cooked, morning,
noon and night
Settling every little
fight.
Making it through
the daily grind
Trying not to lose
my mind.
Help each with work
from two different
schools
Teach them about
life- how not to
be fools.
I try each day with
all my might
Just to make it
through 'til night.
As I lay down upon
my bed
So many things run
through my head.
What to get this
one for her special
day?
How to help that
one- there's GOT
to be a way.
I'm so alone I really
feel this way.
Oh, Lord, help me
make it through
one more day.
DEEP
DOWN
As I search deep
down inside myself,
For a wholeness
I will never know.
I close my eyes
and cry,
I start to think
of you more and
more.
As tears roll down
my cheeks,
I ask myself what
went wrong.
I love you dearly
and always will,
But days, weeks,
and months have
passed.
But I must move
on,
My heart is wounded
and still I mourn.
I see you and pass
you everyday,
I smile and nod
but tread no farther.
I hope that one
day we might be
able to pass words,
And in many ways
I fear what you
have to say.
THE
ONE!
God took the best
thing
That happened to
me!
The one woman in
my life,
The one that fed
me,
The one that clothed
me,
The one that sheltered
me,
And most of all
the one that LOVED
ME!
But up in Heaven
is her home,
I loved my mom from
head to toe,
But I guess up in
heaven
The Lord Jesus Christ
Needs the BEST!
CHILD
She doesn't smile,
she doesn't play.
She lies there alone
almost everyday.
Her
dark raven hair,
her eyes pale green.
She's the oldest
child
I've ever seen.
I
watch her and think,
Don't look so sad,
whatever it is,
can't be that bad.
But
that's not true,
I learn with my
ways,
that sad little
girl
is dying of AIDS.
Four
long years fighting
a battle she lost.
AIDS is a game
and life is the
cost.
She
rises with the dawn
of each new day,
hoping it's the
one
where she will pass
away.
She
lies in her bed
and stares up at
the sky,
saying, "Please
God,
just let me die."
I'VE
LOVED YOU FOR SO
LONG
Why can't you ever
love me,
When I've loved
you for so long?
Perhaps you could
just try to see
That maybe I belong.
I
might bring smiles
to fill your day
And words to fill
your songs
If only you would
come and stay.
I've loved you for
so long.
Vainly
you search else
where to find
The love you everseek.
Touch and take this
love of mine,
A love that's yours
to keep.
WISTFUL
If I had a million
bucks
I'd split it up
between us two.
If I could track
down lady luck
I'd gladly send
her straight to
you.
If the world were
mine to give
You'd have it on
a silver platter.
If I could steal
the stars the sky's
filled with
They'd shine for
you only, no other.
If I could, I'd
be your shelter
To make sure you're
safe from harm.
And I would be the
softest cover
Always there to
keep you warm.
MY NEW BEST FRIEND
Today I met a great
new friend
Who knew me right
away
It was funny how
she understood
All I had to say
She listened to
my problems
She listened to
my dreams
We talked about
love and life
She'd been there,
too, it seems
I
never once felt
judged by her
She knew just how
I felt
She seemed to just
accept me
And all the problems
I'd been dealt
She
didn't interrupt
me
Or need to have
her say
She just listened
very patiently
And didn't go away
I
wanted her to understand
How much this meant
to me
But as I went to
hug her
Something startled
me
I
put my arms infront
of me
And went to pull
her nearer
And realised that
my new best friend
Was nothing but
a Mirror
WHERE?
Were did my childhood
go
Lost in a time of
blackness
I do not remember
the fun
I do not remember
the games
All I see
When I look back
to my past
Is a blackness of
hatred
A nightmare that
hurts
I will never recover
I will never be
sane
I am lost in the
world
My memories are
pain
Were did my chilhood
go
I will never be
sane
SIGN
This feeling, that
is deep inside me,
this feeling that
leaves me feeling
so sad,
this feeling that
makes me feel the
world is such a
dread,
this feeling that
makes me want to
sit down and cry,
this feeling that
makes me crazy,
that makes me feel
like everything
is wrong,
that everything
is just not right,
I feel so mad, at
myself, at him,
at everyone,
at all those people
who seem to have
a perfect life,
all those people,
that seem to have
what I don't have,
all those people
that make my life
seem so.......
I
can't even say it,
I don't know how
to describe this
feeling that is
in my chest,
Like a big empty
space that I can't
fill,
a big empty space
that hurts, that
makes me sad,
makes me want to
give up and die.
I need something....hope...that
everything will
be ok,
I need some sign
that tells me that
time will get better
again,
that I will be happy
again, I just need
a little sign,
just one, that is
all.
I just want to know,
that it will be
ok,
that my tears will
stop and my laughter
will follow,
just one sign....God
if you are listening
please hear me out,
all I ask is for
a sign, just one,
please please just
one sign...
NO
REGRETS
Never regret the
things you've done
For when you did
them,
it seemed such fun
Now in this place
and time
Maybe a new life
you've chosen to
live
New friends who
wouldn't accept
the things you did
A new boss whom
all your respect
and aspirations
go
The things in your
life would crumble,
if that past life
would somehow unfold
Upfront and honest
is the way to live
your life
Trust in your instincts,
have faith in Jesus
Christ
And never have uncertainties
or feel bad about
the things you've
done
If they like you
now,
they must respect
who you were then
Because you were
only having a little
fun
WHY
Why did you hit
her? What did she
do?
Why all the pain,
you're putting her
through?
Why all the suffering
hurt and dispair?
Sir can't you see,
you're not fighting
fair.
Why
do you shame her
and treat her this
way?
Sir are you listening
or have nothing
to say?
Do you think of
all the good times?
Do you stay up and
cry at night?
Sir why do you hit
her, when you know
it's not right?
IF YOU ONLY
KNEW
If you only knew
what you mean to
me
The world would
be a brighter place
to be
Where the sun shines
all day long
Where people all
play and get along
Only
you can put a smile
to my face
So soft and pretty,
So elegant like
lace
Where the flowers
grow and everyone
knows
That you are a true
Angel Face
What
would the world
be like without
you?
So dark and gloomy
, where everyone's
blue
Where people are
glad and people
are mad
But without you,
I'm only sad
If
you only knew.
HURT
A poisoned girl
with hate and anger
Who has nothing
left to live for
Looking in all the
wrong places for
love and acceptance
Drowning her pain
and sorrow's in
alcohol and drugs
Coming to us with
broken dreams, and
lost hope
Many lovers' she
has had
But none who really
cared
To them she was
just a good lay
Nothin they would
kill for
With them she thought
she had found the
acceptance
But all she found
was another pain
She became the holder
of another life
She hated to do
it
But she knew she
couldn't care for
another, when she
couldn't even care
for herself
When she had at
last found a love
They looked at her
in disbelief
"How could
you be like that,
so unclean, and
un-pure?"
They scream at her
With hate in her
heart, and hate
all around her
Where does she go
to be free, to be
happy?
Killing is no longer
the answer
Many times she has
tried, but failed
No one in this world
cares that she is
human to
Will they ever understand?
I guess we'll never
know
I guess we should
finally let go of
the hate.
FOREVER
Forever can't always
be forever
Rainbows can't always
be bright
The day can't last
forever
For sometime there
has to come night
But
a dream can be always
As long as it lasts
in you heart
For a dream that
you believe in
Will cause your
forevers to soon
start
POEM
OF DEATH
I wake upon this
grave I sleep to
see my boyfriend
bright as day,
he says I love you,
miss you, need you,
on one knee I never
betrayed you,
Heart
of love, picture
of fight he set
it down on the ground
I lay,
what happen to thee
I do not see, I
only have a memory,
Please
bless my boyfriend's
face for he truthful
and grace was not
at this place,
the twists and turns
then through the
mists my memories
now do not exist,
My
mother screaming
my dad in tears
and in the hallway
the bloody fears,
who did this to
thee, we do not
see, until we hear
I now rest in peace.
FALLING
IN LOVE
At night I sleep
and think of you,
Why oh why do you
make me so blue,
I think of the old
days but they have
changed,
Why oh why did they
go away,
I
sit and wonder what
you feel,
Why oh why does
your smile kill,
Your touch is so
soft your voice
so sweet,
Why oh why do I
fall in deep sleep,
The
memories make me
break down and cry,
Why oh why cant
I hold it inside,
I want to be a player
play then go home,
Why oh why is it
so hard to be alone,
No
worries for him
I wish he could
know,
Why oh why cant
he feel my pain
deep within my soul,
He cant feel
others and makes
fun of the years,
Why oh why does
he cause me great
tears,
Deep
inside I know you
care,
Why oh why dont
you let that share,
Its time to
end this story above,
Why oh why did I
fall in love.
SORROW
At night I cry myself
to sleep and in
the day time I just
sit and think,
I wish I may ,I
wish I might, wish
upon thoughts stars
tonight,
my wish is always
true, a wish I made
for me and you
I
love you yes, I
love you most and
only dream about
holding you close,
your love is what
you mean to me,
a perfect image
in my mind that
shows me all our
good times,
I
forgot about thee
but still I see
you walking down
the hall,
I moved on to another
body in my soul,
that body dropped
my soul did go back
to you to make you
fall,
You're
always in my heart
and I'll never forget
that spark
but the day I see
you, the night I
don't,
and only wish I
could hold you close.
SECRETS
You said you'd keep
my secret safe cause
your the only one
I told,
but you let it slip
to far away that
shows how much you
know,
My
only love I trusted
you, you said we
keep in touch, no
hi, hello,
how are you did
I hear for only
months,
We
made a promise together
the night you asked
me out to stay as
close as friends
just like before
we made that vow,
you broke that
chain of love, the
promise I did keep,
I held it in my
heart and
only felt my heart
break, it shattered
on the floor I wish
you
would have seen
the pain your love
caused a sweet thing
like me,
Now
I only dream of
memories and the
nights are oh so
sad,
I sit and pray you
will return to make
me oh so glad,
I
only wish happiness
for who ever you
are with
but I hope you know
how much I love
and care about my
closest friend.
CONFUSING
VOICES
Voices of sorrow
flow through my
mind,
Thinking wondering
when is the right
time,
Feeling loneliness
knowing it's true,
Sitting in the darkness
without a clue,
Thoughts
of evil cross my
path,
When I see you I
take a glance,
Memories in the
past make it seem
like it will never
last,
Hoping it will come
really fast,
Dreamer
forever,
Devil below,
Dances in the rain
it all seems too
slow,
Questions are asked,
Answers are told,
Things are hidden
deep in our souls,
Lightning strikes
then it all shows,
Words
that were said were
took to heart,
Actions performed
without a spark,
Promises made all
around me,
Lying down confusion
surrounding,
Softly
whispers in the
night,
Things are crossing
in our minds,
Sitting here wondering
why,
Voices of sorrow
come alive.
LIFE
Life isn't about
keeping score.
It's not about how
many friends you
have.
Or how accepted
you are.
Not about if you
have plans this
weekend or if you're
alone.
It isn't about who
you're dating, who
you used to date,
how many people
you've dated or
if you haven't been
with anyone at all.
It isn't about who
you have kissed.
It's not about sex.
It isn't about who
your family is or
how much money they
have.
Or what kind of
car you drive.
Or where you go
to school.
It's not about how
beautiful or ugly
you are.
Or what clothes
you wear, what shoes
you have on, or
what kind of music
you listen to.
It's not about if
your hair is blond,
red, black or brown.
Or if your skin
is too light or
too dark.
Not about what grades
you get, how smart
you are,
how smart everyone
else thinks you
are
Or how smart standardised
tests say you are.
It's not about what
clubs you're in
Or how good you
are at a sport.
It's not about representing
your whole being
and see who will
accept the written
you.
LIFE JUST ISN'T
But life is about
who you love and
who you hurt.
It's about who you
make happy or unhappy
purposefully.
It's about keeping
or betraying trust.
Its about friendship,
used as a sanctity
or a weapon.
It's about what
you say and what
you mean, maybe
hurtful, maybe heartening.
About starting rumours
and contributing
to petty gossip.
It's about what
judgements you pass
and why.
And who your judgements
are passed to.
It's about who you've
ignored with full
control and intention.
It's about fear,
jealousy, ignorance,
and revenge.
It's about carrying
inner love and hate,
letting it grow
and spreading it.
But most of all,
It's about using
your life to touch
or poison other
people's lives
in such a way that
could never have
occurred alone.
Only you choose
the way those hearts
are affected,
and those choices
are what life's
all about.
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