This is our epigraph:

"Call me, call to go with you -                     
I will come through awful darkness,      
You lead on - I'll follow you,           
So be it whatever happens.       
I will come wherever side                       
You have painted sun in heaven,      
Where fallen dreams revive      
And resume the second wind at novel height."    

(From A.Pugatchova's song "Call me!"-
lyrics were written by T.Snegina
and translated by A.Tumanov)

      This is the content of the article:

Introduction       Dydyndra       Love       Leaving       London       Photographer       Career       Acquaintance       Love       Mother-in-law       Fortuitous meeting

      There are the photoes to the article!

      And this is the article itself!

Introduction

      This amazing story began simply and prosily. The telephone rang in the Saransk apartment of unpretending music mistress Liudmila Tchernuha:

      - Mamma! It's me, Oksana! I am fine! No, I still have problems with my work, but my interior life seemed to be improved. I have met a man. He is my older by 24 years, but he is very famous. And he has offered me to live together. I will, probably, agree.

      Mamma kept silence. However the silence here, in Russia, is a sign of agreement.

      This way 6 years ago (i.e. in 1994, but not in 1993, as was written two paragraphs below. Here and everywhere in the text the comments to the errors were prepared by the author of this Web site - K.E.) the most incredible Hollywood romance between James Bond �3 Timothy Dalton (the error again - Timothy Dalton was the fourth actor to play a part of Bond! - �.�.) and simple girl from far Mordovia Oksana Tchernuha has begun.

      Dalton - "the third exemplar" of super-agent 007 (not the third, but forth... - K.E.) - is interesting due to the fact, that he is the only non-American actor, who played James Bond (another fact is interesting - no one American didn't play a part of Bond yet: Connery is Scotsman, Lazenby is Australian, Moore and Dalton are Englishmen, Brosnan is Irishman. - K.E.) He is an Englishman, he was born and grew in London. (Dalton was born in Colwyn Bay, Wales, he grew in a suburb of Manchester. - K.E.) Timothy - the eldest from five children in Dalton's family - from the tender nail dreamed about actor's career. At the age of 21 he has brilliantly graduated from RADA. (Timothy Dalton didn't graduated from RADA, he has left it after almost 2 years of studying. - K.E.)

      In 1993 (may be in 1994? - �.�.) - the year of his acquaintance with Oksana - 47-years old actor is at the peak of glory. Due to the role of James Bond he is well-known not only at home, in UK, but all over the world. He is so popular in America, where Englishmen usually have remains of audience's love, that he is offered to play a part of another 100% American - Rhett Butler in the film "Scarlett" (the continuation of "Gone with the Wind" - Note of the author.). ("Another" - probably, means - Bond. But James Bond is an Englishman. The author of the article with the name "Mordovian Mother-in-law for James Bond", saying with the words of Henry Higgins from musical "My Fair Lady", "doesn't know even things, she herself is busy with ". - K.E.)

      Dalton takes rank as of the twenty most beautiful men in the world. Despite his reputation of confirmed bachelor, everyone knows, that he had hectic romance with Brooke Shields and Elizabeth Teilor (at least, I read about Elizabeth Taylor the first time! - K.E.), but during the last 14 years he lives with Vanessa Redgrave, who was called "a woman-dream". (It seems, here E.Guseva is guided by the article, written by A. Barbusiantc, from "7 Days" magazine, published at the end of 1997, where the same time frame for Timothy's acquaintance with Vanessa is mentioned, but the fact of their co-operative work upon the film "Mary, Queen of Scots", issued in 1971, was completely ignored... - K.E.)

      Many years ago she was a lover of sultry Franko Nero (and she even had a son with him), she got married the great director Tony Richardson and, at last, she fell in love with Timothy. For a long time she tried to make him marry her. But Dalton was adamant. He assured Vanessa of his desire to be always a bachelor. And probably, he thought so. Until the moment of his meeting with Oksana. (In this and the following paragraphs we will not pay attention to the elements of figment, which make this article a little bit similar to a feasible story! - K.E.)

Dydyndra

      This is her nickname in school. Because she has an angular figure, long gaunt legs and pimples.

      Her mother went to Mordovia happy-go-lucky - after graduating from Kazan conservatoire as a pianist she has got job of teacher in Saransk musical college. Soon after that she and her husband have got an apartment and in 1970 she has borne him a daughter. Her husband liked Gogol very much, especially "Nights on socage near Dikanka", and the name of his daughter - Oksana - he took from his favourite book.

      Liudmila while hearing her child's crying has understood: her little girl has an exquisite ear for music. And after four years passed Liudmila began to teach her little daughter to play the piano. When her age mates were running and playing games in the court nearby, Oksana studied gammas.

      In the school Ksiuscha (another name of Oksana) was in children's bad books: prude, a straight A pupil doesn't walk down the streets, doesn't go to the cinemas, all days is in the musical college and spends her evenings, reading Chechov's books. Spindling, with the legs of heron and pimple-faced. In a word - she is Dydyndra.

      However to the last (tenth) class everything was suddenly changed. The ugly duckling has become a beautiful swan. This gangling girl suddenly has got special forms. Her scragginess transformed into gracefulness. Her pimples disappeared, her skin became velvet. And everyone could see, that Oksana is not blinkered, she is simply bashful.

Love

      When Oksana has graduated from musical school, Liudmila Grigorievna, who always dreamed to see her daughter as a great pianist, made Oksana to enter the musical college, where she worked.

      - She was one of the ablest girls-pupils, - remembered the headmaster of Saransk musical college Piotr Krivorotov. - Firstly she got only exellent marks, but later she, probably, has lost the interest to study something and began get good marks.

      She didn't lose the interest. She fell in love. It was the first time in her life.

      Igor Radkov was a student of the same musical college, but he studied in the class of falk instruments. He was an accordionist, non-achiever and a huge Don Juan. As the saying goes in Saransk, Oksana has fallen in love with Igor so much, that she was ready to pass through a fire for him, but he that time had some romances with her "firm girl-friends". Oksana knew about it, she was in anguish at it, she was mortally jealous, but couldn't stop her feeling.

      After graduating the musical college (his results were so-so!), Igor suddenly left Saransk for... London! He only said to Oksana:

      - I can't live in this country of beggars, where they can't appreciate real geniuses, where they earn a scanty pittance! Do not grieve: I'll return to take you with me, when I will settle down for good in London.

      His departure knocked her off her pins, deafened. She cried all the night. And early in the morning she went as chance directed her. She ambled around the town � firstly she travelled, using well-known streets, later - the unknown ones. Then she returned home, and walked from one room to another, like a somnambulant: she opened and closed the piano, took books, browsed them and set to their places. She has lost the sense and the spice of life...

Leaving

      Mamma, seeing that she can't help her daughter, used Oksana's girl-friends to make broken-hearted Oksana to believe, that she ought to brace her energies and go to Kazan - to conservatoire, where from her mother was graduated almost twenty years ago.

      She succeeded at the first try. She lived in a hostel, she didn't anything which wasn't a subject of her study. From early morning until the midnight - only playing piano and solfeggio. Like in her childhood. But around her the things were humming : Kazan groupages were fighting to the bitter end for the "place under sun", "new Russians" have appeared with their ability to throw away handfuls of money, the beauty parades have begun, stars arrived to visit Kazan, her girl-friends got married...

      Igor has carried out his pledge. He returned after one year passed. He was beautiful and merry, like before. He was dressed after latest fashion and there were a lot of money (pounds!) in his pockets (though all money were in fractional currency - he told, that there were the problems to carry the big ones through the state boundary!).

      - I returned to take you with me. Gather your things!

      He told her, that he has found a wonderful work - "I play in the National Orchestra", that he hired a flat, that he eats at restaurants. And else he told: "Such talented girls like you are always wanted!"

      She agreed immediately. And she was impersuadable, though her parents, her teachers and her friends asked her to stay in Russia. She went down conservatoire without taking a diplom, has got foreign passport, Igor helped her to adjust all the formalities. And - she started on a journey...

London

      Upon a closer view Albion seemed to be not so romantically foggy, but more cheerless, dirty and old. It was damp in the "beautiful" Igor's apartment. The taps were leaking, due to non-payment they periodically felt the power cut. The "National Orchestra" transformed to a little Ensemble of buskers - Russian expatriates, - they earned their crust by playing in the market. "Talented girls" were not so needed he told earlier. That's why it was impossible even to dream about a carrer of a pianist for Oksana.

      Oksana has got a job of "washing-up" woman. However here she was fortunate in the choice of cafe - beautiful girl has been taken into very prestige cafe, placed near the royal palace. Sometimes the "august persons" were the guests of this cafe, so its masters tried to be equal to the occasion: they used only super-models as labourers!

      However, Oksana while working there didn't meet even one VIP - all the time she spent in the back regions of a house. She has forgotten about manicure. Her musical fingers - long, chiselled fingers, which could airily run from one end of keyboard to another with a light velvet wave, - due to the work with hot water her fingers became looking like the awful red sausages.

      Igor's business was on the down-grade - a lot of his competitors, the jobless musicians from Russia, who were searching the place, where the life is better, appeared in London streets. And one day Oksana, going home late night, has found the empty armoire and a letter on the table: "My darling, I left London for States. England is too old for me!"

Photographer

      Patrick Ansen earl Leechfield is one of the most famous men in England. He is called "Blue blood plus talent". He is a cousin of Prince Charles and a household photographer. For many years Leechfield issues "King's Calendar", something like "Play-boy" for men from royal family, but more undefiled. Photoes for the Calendar are preparing not on the sea beach and not in the photo-studio, but in the royal palace - on the bed of Prince, in the bathroom of the Queen. Every beauty in Great Britain (and not only in Britain!) dreams to be shown on its pages. However Patrick is very picksome and particular while choosing the models - no professional models, no winners of beauty parades, no actresses! Certainly, no opera-girls, stripteasers and another sporting girls. No one man in Englad must have a right to say, that he has seen one or another girl being naked.

      In 1993 - the siderial year for Oksana - Patrick needed a beauty in the style "a-la Ukraine" to realize his plot. However to find such a model in London is not so simple...

      ...Leechfield spent his time in cafe, where Oksana worked. It was very late. The last visitors started to drift out, when the sad girl came out from the kitchen and began to clear the tables. One moment he has met her eye, girl smiled. With lightning speed he has understood:

      - I was looking for you all my life!

Career

      He prepared her to pose for his Calendar. Firstly he has helped her to get some contracts in the austere and pure fashion magazines. She has made photoes being dressed in the evening dress of Lady Di (Princess Diana was alive that time and Englishmen loved her very much), in the nobby fur coat of the Queen Elizabeth. Step by step Oksana becomes famous. And it was a time to change her family name ("Discordant for English ear word Tchernuha is simply intolerable", - convinced her Patrick). This way she became Grigorieva. Earned incomes from the magazines helped her to improve her living standard: at last Oksana could hire a good flat and buy a car. And only after that Patrick made a proposition, certainly, after suitable to the case theatrical pause:

      - I want to make some photoes of you for "The King's Calendar".

      She was intently checked before visiting the Palace. Twice. Firstly - in the British MI-6 (ancestry, parents, undesirable links, good and bad habits). Secondly: before her entrance to the Palace - the bodyguard of Her Majesty. They checked her trying to find a bomb, a camera, a dictaphone and the other forbidden things. And between these two checkings during three hours she was in the hands of the personal hairdressers and visagistes of Lady Di. They made "Ukraine beauty Oksana Grigorieva".

      And - there is the posh apartment of Prince Charles. The dazzle lighting of flies. The croud of beauties and photographers. One more step - and they will be shown on the pages of Calendar, the unfulfilled dream of many beauties! One more step - and Sesam's doors will open...

      - And now, dear ladies, I ask you to strip to the underclothes, - announces Patrick's assistant.

      All the girls dexterously undress.

      All girls, with the except Oksana.

      - Sorry, you, probably, didn't understand. I ask you to take your dress off - we shall make photoes without it.

      - No! Not for anything!

      Girls are whispering among themselves, photographers are at a loss, Patrick is bewildered and baffled. They hold a consultation. Then Leechfield says:

      - Well! You will have your photograph taken being dressed in a bashful swimming suit. We are ready to change our rules for such a star.

      - No!

      She turns around and goes away. She hears, how they call her "Russian fool" underhand, she feels, that she makes something irremediable. She understands, that it will not be a second case in her life to repeat this episode. However she can't change something: to get off her clothes before people, men - it means to kill her own "I".

      This was the finish of "Ukraine model's" career - the world of model's business doesn't like insubordinate beauties.

      Oksana returns to cafe. The master employs her with a pleasure - she always was a good worker: conscionable, hard-working, bashful. She even get his promotion. Now she will be a waitress.

Acquaintance

      In 1993 Timothy Dalton and his passion Vanessa Redgrave were very successful in London. Playgoers all over the world came to London to see "Hamlet" (he played a part of Hamlet, she - the role of the Queen-mother). (We haven't any information regarding Timothy Dalton's appearance as Hamlet ever. - K.E.) Newspapers contested a right to be the first in the competition of epithets - what else can wish the actors?

      One day early morning, when all the reporters are still sleeping, (Timothy hates paparazzi), the "sweet twosome" went to the cafe. They were sitting at the table and argueing with each other about something. Vanessa asked the waitress, who waited their table, about something. Waitress answered.

      - I know, you are Russian, suddenly announced Vanessa.
      - That's a good guess!
      - I was in Russia and know this accent.
      - What's your name? - Timothy asked the girl.
      - Oksana.
      - Oh, Gogol! Dikanka!
      - No! - the beauty laughed. - Simply Oksana from Russia.
      - Bond, - Dalton made himself known to her. - James Bond.
      - But I recollect you , - the waitress said. - You played in "Jane Eyre".         It was magnificent!
Vanessa snorted in impatience:
      - Sorry, my dear, it is time for us to go!
      - Go, please, I shall stay here awhile, - said he. - Can you give me a cup of your wonderful coffee?
      Vanessa left. Dalton leisurely drank his coffee, and said while paying up:
      - I hope, you will not refuse to take a cup of coffee with me this evening, somewhere where nobody knows you...

Love

      Their romance was invisible. Nobody does suspect nothing. Except Vanessa. But she didn't tell someone about it - for all people she and Dalton were the partners not only on stage but in love too.

      Vanessa didn't undertake something, didn't have temperament. She was sure, that the time will pass and he will leave this goose, this naive Russian waitress. This is a baby act, passing fancy, it will pass like influenza, like head cold...

      She waited. And it came to her. He announced:

      - Vanessa, I should leave you. It seems to me, I am really fall in love, at the first time...

      She didn't begin to cry, that he is crazy. She simply tried to explane him, like a child, that this girl from cafe is not of his level, that she...

      At the first time Timothy took her up short:

      - I understand, she is very young, she is still a girl. But I feel myself younger, when I am with her.

      This last phrase was the finish of 56-years old Vanessa.

      Next day Vanessa told the journalists, that Dalton is off his game and his acting is far from excellence. She added, that his participation in Bondiana badly influenced Timothy's outstanding actor's talent.

      - However I ask you to forgive the great actor for this little failing, - Vanessa smiled. - He has a very complicated period in his privacy life now...

      After that a rumour ran through London and then through all the world, that James Bond �3 has changed his sexual orientation. It was a scandal!

      Timothy himself even didn't try to say something in explanation of his conduct. Giving infrequent interviews, he told about his designs only. Without even a hint regarding his private life.

      And on August 7, 1997 the mass-media all over the world imparted the sensational new: James Bond �3 (�4 - K.E.) and confirmed bachelor boy 51-years old Timothy Dalton has become a father of his son Alexander! And Oksana Grigorieva, the Ukraine waitress is a mother of his child. One day passed and we have known about another sensation: Oksana is not simply a mother of Timothy's child, but she is his wife - Mrs. Dalton. They got married in secret one week earlier Alexander was born.

      Vanessa Redgrave... was the first who has come to congratulate Oksana.

      Timothy Dalton has given an interview, where he at the first time told not about his projects, but about himself:

      "I felt, what it is to be a father. A child helps you to see the world with another view. You suddenly realize everybody else in the world was like this beautiful, precious, young life. It creates a tolerance and warmth toward people..."

Mother-in-law

      Liudmila Grigorievna bears no resemblance to super spy's mother-in-law. Womam like woman. After her daughter marriage nothing changed in her life. She continues teaching piano in the musical college. In their Saransk apartment - usual house with 5 floors, builded in the times of Nikita Chruschev, with the standard Soviet furniture - all the history of Oksana and her marriage seems to be like a fairy tale. An amazing story of Cinderella, who worked as a washing-up woman and then accidentally has met her Prince at the ball. And here are, seems to me, the shoes...

      - There are the pointes, - says Liudmila Grigorievna. - My junior daughter is learning to be a ballerina in the Perm choreographic college. The same ballet school, where Nadegda Pavlova was studying. This is one of the best Ballet schools in the world. She will be a great ballerina - the teachers say, our daughter has all needed for it... Only one problem exists - they ask more than 1000 rubles monthly, very expensive (Probably, about $40 monthly - K.E.). I should have additional work to do it. I should give lessons to the children of "new Russians"... Liudmila Grigorievna doesn't take offence at her son-in-law:

      - Well what of it, that he doesn't help us - it is uncustomary in the West. And then - he is not hungry for money. You know, he began filming in a movie about James Bond and then has refused, though his directors offered him crazy honorariums. Simply this film seemed unserious to him... By the way, I like the serious cinema too. And there he, while filming, is constantly risking with his health, because he always pulls stunts himself...

Fortuitous Meeting

      Last summer father-in-law and mother-in-law flew to America, got to know his son-in-law. He invited them to celebrate 3 years of Alexander Peter Dalton. (This is a full name of the heir). He bought them the two-way tickets. He consigned a room to their use in his house. Liudmila Grigorievna doesn't amplify on this trip, though she can't hide her admiration:

      - Oksana has a lot of friends there. Vanessa Redgrave, for example. Although she fell in love with my son-in-law - they spent 14 years together - she could step across her particular wrongs. She communicates with Oksana, plays with Alexander. Such highly-human relations!
      - Did you like your son-in-law?
      - Certainly yes, he is so beautiful young man! (Dalton is two years senior to his mother-in-law. - Author) He is tall, black-haired. And his eyes are unusual - sea-green...

      The grandmother tells little about her grandson - the boy couldn't become a friend with Liudmila Grigorievna during their one week staying in America. He resembles his father very closely, in his three years Alexander is already ceremonious and elegant. This is why the granny calls him officially - Alexander Peter - (sometimes abbreviating to Alexander).

      - Did you like their house?
      - This is a very good house, good-sized house with two swimming pools.
      - How do they live there?
      - Everything is all right. They agree well...

      Yes, James Bond's mother-in-law can hide family secrets.

      - Let's call Oksana on a phone, - we offer.
      - No, it's impossible. Very expensive!
      - We will pay - our money.
      - Oh, no! To bother them!
      - Oh, please! We undertook a long journey to talk to you - could we balk an opportunity ?! You, probably, are interested to know, how is she now...

      We repeat our request - and see, that in vain.

      But it would be wonderful - to talk to Oksana! Even to hear her voice only... And that moment the telephone rings (No, the miracles exist in the world; Oksana!!!). While Liudmila Grigorievna is bandying short sentences with her daughter ("Yes, everything is normal... Yes, I am in a good health... And daddy too... How are you?... And son?... And husband?... What about your work? "), we are jumping around her, like an adder on the hot griddle, asking her with gestures to give us the receiver even if it will be only one minute, only one word:

      - Oksana, the journalists are here... They ask me...

      We take the receiver. We hear - beautiful woman's voice with a light foreign accent:

      - Hello...
      - Oksana, we are glad to hear you, we'd like to ask you many questions. Let us call you on a phone...

      She takes us up short:

      - Sorry, Timothy doesn't allow me to talk to Russia for a long time. It's very expensive...

      We want to say something else - a phrase or a word... But it's too late, we hear only short beeps... They are misers, these Englishmen! (Here "word for word" translation of the appellation "misers" is, probably, wrong, because in this context this word has the evident touch of irony. Probably it would be better to translate - "economists". - K.E.)

      23.10.2000