I'm 19, I have no girlfriend. I'm nice to women, but all women hate me. Everything on TV sucks. I can't go anywhere or do anything without seeing some asshole wearing those baggy pants (with stripes down the sides) around his ankle, like he's hauling around a load of shit in his pants. Everyone is buying those ugly-ass yellow glasses because they think they'll be cool once they have them. I can't go one day without hearing about the Titanic. I work and go to school. I have no time for fun. When I get free time to do anything, there's nothing to do. I live in Indiana: It blows. Everything is illegal here. Why don't we just secede from the union? We might as well, since state ordinance is considered supreme law. My university sucks. I always get the last registration period for classes. The day after my registration period, open registration begins. So I always get screwed when I have to pick classes. I can't sleep because my room is too damn hot. My back hurts. I can't go to the grocery store without being bombarded by Disney propaganda. Disney songs are played in grocery stores at all times, and my favorite cereals have sold out to Disney. Cartoons on TV aren't as cool anymore. Ren & Stimpy, Rambo, Transformers (not this new Beast Wars bullshit), Brave Star, Humanoids, The Real Ghostbusters and Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles have been replaced by politically corect Power Rangers, child molesting purple dinosaurs, Bobby, Tiny Toons, and a whole slew of Disney atrocities. My old high school sucked. I hated everyone there (90%). I hated school dances more than anything. The biggest waste of time and money is a school dance. While I sat home and loathed everyone, they went to dances and parties. They had fun. Laughing, dancing, flirting. Everyone so concerned about their image; they all worried about impressing the opposite sex. Nobody gave a shit about anything else. They were all assholes. I hated my teachers (most of them were assholes), I hated my principal, I hated the administration. I hated the jocks. I hated the trendy people. I hated the stoners, skaters, hippies, cowboys, snobs, and nerds. Come to think of it, I hate everyone. Especially you. Everyone else hates you too. The only person I don't hate is.. oh wait, I hate everybody. Why is everyone an asshole? I can't stand people who dance obnoxiously to their shitty music while they drive. Who do they think they are? Dancing like they own the whole world. PEOPLE ARE WATCHING. I'm watching. Stop driving like a fool, pull your head out of your ass, and turn off your shitty music. I hate it when people have their music cranked up. They do it just to annoy me. JUST TO ANNOY ME. DAMN THEM. Why are politicians so full of shit? Why can't there be a congressman (congressman, yes man, tough shit to all you feminists) that just speaks his mind without the meaningless bullshit and ass kissing? Why can't they just say whatever it is they want to say, without trying to sound scholarly about it, and get to the point? Why do teachers and professors make you have a minimum limit of pages for reports? I had a history class last quarter, and the professor forced us to have at least 6 pages for every report we had to turn in. Well what if I don't have 6 pages worth to say? It forces people to write meaningless bullshit to fill in the spaces, which makes your argument much less effective. Politicians would make great teachers. They can go on and on about meaningless drivel and make their ass kissing sound like it's important. Who the hell watches and listens to the shit played on tv and the radio? All of it is shit. Why the hell do they remain on TV? Some limp dick jerk probably started watching Friends, or Ellen, or any other generic sitcom made to target the shallow, empty, gen-X loser and now I'm doomed to filter through the crap when I want to watch The Simpsons or Space Ghost. I'd like to take a moment to damn everyone for making my life hell. Thanks, assholes. I hope you all die.
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