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Holy fuck I hate this world. I hate my family, I hate my body, I hate humanity. I hate the fact that black people are still referred to as Niggers by ignorant white people. I hate the fact that black people are still referred to as Niggers by ignorant black people. I hate the fact that millions of people worship a naked dead man nailed to a fucking piece of wood who never existed. No, I'm not some repressed teenager trying to take out his angst on the world through the Internet. I really don't know what compels me to write my thoughts here. I'm fucking trapped in my mind and this is the only way I feel I can lift some of the burden of living, by expressing myself. It's always easier to talk to PPL you know. I'm tired. My soul is empty. I was glued to the TV a few days ago watching war unfold before my eyes. I couldn't help but feel like I was watching the beginning of some bad 80's flick as the suicide bombers over run a town. What a peculiar time in history this is when one can watch people die on TV then have some fucking clown in makeup come on every ten minutes to sell you an all beef patty. I can log onto various chat rooms and actually talk to people who are living in the places where war is a reality. "We're going to kill you all motherfuckers!" "That's what you think! This is our land! We will crush you!" "No! It's ours! JIHAD!" "Anyone got that new Fatboy Slim MP3 off Kazaa?" "We were here first!! Oh I got that song, Fatboy rules! ALLAHU AKBAR!" "Down with America! Can you send me that file dude? Bob Marley rocks." "Hey, I just farted! Sorry dude, my mom says I can't trade MP3's with Jews." "Oh come on man, don't make me take out a Fatwah on your ass!" What a pathetic joke. It's like two babies fighting over who gets to eat a dirty diaper first. I go outside and interact with other people like I'm "supposed to." My grandma says it's healthy and I should do it more often. I also think she's a jew. Don't tell her I said that. So I'm out. I see people. Unhappy people. My world is in shades of gray and everyone is the same bland empty shell, all broken up inside. When I was a child life was in vivid colour, but around puberty I started to realize that colour is just an illusion. There is no spoon. We are social creatures, but far less evolved than we would like 2 think. Instinct is still highly ingrained into our motives. When u lose your temper u say and do things that u would regret once the adrenaline has left your system. It's too bad you can't regret killing someone enough to bring them back to life. Humans are such stupid creatures. We try to act "civilized," and I use that term very loosely, when all we really care about is fucking, sucking and buying needless shit we will never use. Eat. Shit. Work. Fuck. Spend. Consume. Repeat until death, then rinse. What's the fucking point anymore? Do you really want to die over a piece of dirt? Is it really worth it? Have we all forgotten that the Earth does not belong to us, but we belong to the Earth? I try to take a very critical view of the media. Everyone has their own agenda and it is a known fact that war is great for ratings. What's more relaxing than coming home from a hard day from pressing plastic buttons in the cubicle to popping open a can of Bud and watching ten thousand foreigners slaughter each other on cable? Fuck, it sure beats wrestling. There is an ancient Chinese proverb that states, "May you live in interesting times." If you ask me that sounds more like a curse. These times are so interesting that it's hard to digest all of the information that is constantly bombarding us every waking moment. We're so fucking programmed that we don't even realize it anymore. I'm so fucking programmed I don't even realize it anymore. Maybe I'm just some kind of eating/fucking/shitting machine that has been programmed to type these words. I wish I were programmed to be cool and ignorant, sorta like Tom Cruise, except for the gay part. All I know is that dying for some fucking old stones is stupid. Dying for your country is worthless. Killing in the name of a God that doesn't exist is just so motherfucking dumb I can't even comprehend it anymore. Run. Go somewhere else where it's quiet. There will always be someone else to take your place and lash out violently in the name of nationalism. Let them die for a cause that doesn't exist. The way I see it the people in the Middle East have done so much fucking with each other that they are the same people. They look the same, they kill the same, they fuck the same. Religion is the number one cause of death and war in all of human history. It is time to evolve and destroy it. Find your own religion. Follow your own spiritual path. Find yourself. You can go die for your country or some fucking holy war. I'll sit here and watch it on TV. I am officially a madman.