When Dawn streched out her fingertips of rose,

Our heroes held a feast to praise the gods,

And thank them for the victory against

The Hojan menace in the Hojan War.

They donned their festal garments and did feast

On seven fatted calves, except, of course,

For poor Toddysseus, who only ate

Spaghetti pomodoro, so Briam

Ate his calf, too.

The great Brathena, goddess of the hunt,

And burnt Proposals at the altar�s base.

Brathena looked down, pleased, upon the House;

The skies did open up, but did not rain

Just ordinary rain, but instead down

Came scoop after scoop of sweet gelato.

And it was good.

To praise gelato. What a tasty treat!

A panacea for all human ills,

A perfect snack in any time or place,

Solution to the problems of the world

Like nuclear disarmament, and of

The plague of global warming...

After the feast, the Princess disappeared.

"Where did she go?" stricken Toddysseus cried.

They found her sick in bed, a regal shade

Of purple, like her father when he died.

The bitter oranges the brothers stole,

Were poisonous. O sad and bitter fate!

If she had only settled for the cold,

Sweet orange flavor of our favorite food:

Gelato, whose sweet, honeyed savor begs

Not just one scoop, but two, or three, or more,

A bevy of gelato...

An epic is to be a tale of war,

Not sweets, and other gluttonous delights.