15 – Epilogue 

Well, that’s about all I can tell you on Ecuador. If you have any questions or anything, email me at [email protected] cos I’d be made up to hear from you. One thing you need to remember in Ecuador is that you are not a traveller. Travellers are Kraut, Yank or Ozzy. Travellers go all over the world, polluting wherever they go with their shit humour, filthy facial hair, badly rolled spliffs and terrible bongo playing. You on the other hand are a British Citizen, working in South America. Respect this by keeping clean, shaving (where applicable), knocking shite out of those pussy travellers, getting fucked every night, and telling everyone how great the UK is. Come on, all together now: “Two world wars and one world cup, do-da, do-da…”

I don’t know how you’re feeling at the moment, everyone gets cold feet (especially those without socks), but you are going to have the best time of your life in Ecuador. It’s a great place with great people and great things to see, drink, and do. You’re going to make loads of cool friends and have an experience that will stay with you for life. God, I wish that I was doing it again. So have a good time. Good luck, and if you believed that bunch of arse I told you about eating cow shit in restaurants, you’re going to need it.