6 - Travelling

Ok guys, you’ve probably heard all this, but seriously try not to be on any buses after 8:00pm. Stick to this as a general rule, and you should be cool. Also, if you’re on your own, sit as near to the front as possible, so that there is less chance of you being robbed. Also you’ll get a better view of the video.

It’s a tradition that when you travel on buses that require you to write your name on a list of passengers, you aren’t allowed to use your real name. Use something nice and jovial like Jenny Tallwarts, Phil McCracken, and Ste Minturd etc. I was normally Paddy Ramrod or occasionally Gimpo Cockface.

You won’t notice how fast your time goes in Ecuador. This means you really can’t afford to have a weekend doing fuck all. Try and get out as much as you can. Obviously you can save money by asking the Cuenca and Quito guys if they have spare beds for the weekend. I’ve included a section on places to go, and I’ll try to write about everywhere I’ve been in Ecuador. If I don’t, tough shit, I’m writing this out of my own immense generosity you know.

If you want to avoid getting crap prices, try to avoid looking like a traveller. This means not going around with a backpack, Panama hat, dodgy beard, phrasebook, sunburnt nose etc. Buy one of those shit T-shirts at markets to blend in. I personally have a Jean Claude Van-Damme shirt which makes me right at home in Ecuadorian fashion. Also available is a really cool t-shirt with a picture of Jesus on it. Do you ever wonder why all the pictures of Jesus are the same? It’s mad, even if he existed he would have been coloured wouldn’t he? Madness.