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Series 3, Episode 13
review  |  transcript  |  screencaps  |  quiz

I was sure, when I read about this episode in the TV guide, that I wasn't going to enjoy it. I'm usually pretty good at telling and this week it mentioned the thing with Matt and Lindsay and the thing with Penny and that bloke, who was he by the way? Did he just turn up this week or has he been lurking in the background before and I've never noticed? Anyway, there was no mention of Brian and Kurt at all, in fact the newspaper listed the entire cast except for Adrian Bower and Navin Chowdhry. That's never a good sign, I was worried they would be reduced to minor characters while we had to watch Matt and Lindsay arsing about pretending they hadn't kissed. I wouldn't mind that ordinarily, but this was the last of the series and when it finishes with a bad one it leaves you kind of down.

We did have to watch a bit of Matt and Lindsay, but I found that I actually enjoyed it. I really don't like Matt, he's my least favourite character, but this episode he seemed almost human. Almost. It was interesting to see him at least appear to have some actual human emotions for a change. That was conected with Clare's 'make the boys express their feelings' drive, I suppose. I don't understand though how one drunken kiss one night could make both Matt and Lindsay suddenly develop feelings for each other. One of them I might have been able to buy, but not both. So, Matt and Lindsay try avoiding each other completely, but that doesn't work because they've got all the same friends. This bit bored me, I have to admit. I've seen it so many times before on other programmes, I didn't think Teachers would sink to it, but their other strategy was much more entertaining - telling each other disgusting things about themselves. In the end it didn't make any difference though, nor did the fact that Matt is married, though that hasn't stopped him before either.

The Matt and Lindsay thing was the main plot, but as well we had the Penny and that bloke thing, the Clare and Bob thing, and because there was no one left to pair them up with that hadn't been done before, the Brian and Kurt thing. Penny and that bloke, I'll remember his name eventually, seemed pointless and random to me, I mean, what is he still doing there anyway, I thought they didn't need him anymore, now Kurt's back teaching again. I loved the way Kurt bodged thing up for them by turning whatever he's called bloke into another version of himself. I think this bit only existed to get Penny out of the picture so she didn't notice what was going on with Matt and Lindsay and start spreading rumours about Lindsay again.

Talking of Penny, did she seem a bit out of character to anyone else? I know she's not normally the nicest person in the world, but still... I thought she was well over her affair with Matt, too. So why was she going on at him like she did? She was being really unpleasent to Lindsay too, I thought they were friends, but she just seemed really pissed of at her. Did I miss something, or was it just what Lindsay said about her not being in love and just wanting a shag that set her off? If it was I think she was over reacting a bit.

Clare and Bob seemed equally random, but in a much better way because they are at least both proper characters who we know why they're there. I really do fail to see what all these women see in Bob though. I mean he's probably had more sex than the rest of the guys combined, except for maybe Matt. Why? Or why do these women turn down the infinitely more attractive Kurt and Brian in favour of Bob? Well, we know why they don't go for Kurt I suppose, but why not Brian, who is by all accounts very good? Maybe they all assume they are gay. Which brings us to the last story.

Sooner or later I'm going to start wondering if there's something in this Kurt and Brian thing. Everyone who meets them seems to assume they're sleeping together anyway. Even the people who know them wonder about it, like Matt at the start of this episode saying he bets they've kissed. There was a lot about this that reminded me of that series two episode where Kurt and Simon manage to convince Brian he might be gay. After spending hours looking at each others eyes to see whether their pupils dilate when they look at various women, believing that if they did it would mean they fancied them, Kurt sleeps in Brian's bed after a nightmare and when they wake up, looking at each other, both of them have dilated pupils. Based on this, both of them become extremely worried that they are in love and get paranoid about what all the kids think, which probably makes people wonder all the more. I liked the episode where Brian thought he was gay, it's my favourite series 2 episode, so it was nice to have a reminder of it. It was also nice to see Kurt have a bit of a taste of his own medicine when he starts wondering about his own sexuality. I can't help but think though, that if something as simple as dilated pupils made them think they were in love, maybe there's something to it. Most people wouldn't even consider it unless they suspected already, and we know Brian at least has wondered about it before...

They must both be pretty dense though, I mean it's Kurt and Brian we're talking about, they both fancy anything with tits, so why didn't they notice that the bigger pupils thing was bollocks when their pupils didn't dilate for anyone when I can't beleive they didn't fancy anyone? I suppose it's just funny though, and I'm not going to complain about that!

Either way, I'm glad things got back to normal, I'd hate to think that their paranoia would mean we'd never see another night where Kurt sleeps in Brian's bed. There's something really sweet about those scenes, in a slightly odd way. All in all, not a bad way to end a series, I just hope there's going to be another one soon. I wonder what's going to happen with Matt and Lindsay. He got together with Penny at the end of series 2, there is a bit of an air of deja vu about this, isn't there. Or is that just me imagining things?

I think I'd give this one 5/10, it's not bad, but it's one of the weaker ones of the series, some bits annoyed me a bit too much, I don't think the story really picked up until half way through and the thought of Bob and Clare together is enough to put me off my food!

Review by Catherine O'Brien

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