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Episodes
Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 4
Here's where to be if you want to find out which episode is which. They don't have names, so I've written a bit about each one in case you can't work out which one you want from 'series 2 episode 3' or whatever. Eventually, clicking on each one will give you more detailed info.
Series 1
Episode 1
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First episode (obviously!) Simon celebrates his 27th by breaking into the school and nicking Jenny's Shakespeare head, plus he's embarrassed to find out that he is sleeping with a police woman.
Episode 2
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Both Susan and Jenny interview for head of year. One of Simon's pupils gets in trouble when Jenny finds him with cannabis and Simon worries that he'll get in trouble because he smoked with him, meanwhile everyone prepares for parents evening and Brian tries to convince Clare to let him teach PE to A-Level.
Episode 3
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Simon feels in the way at home and decides to move out. He moves in with Stephen, then with Brian and Kurt. Meanwhile Maggie is angry with Simon after last week and he tries to win her back by cooking a romantic meal - at Brian and Kurt's.
Episode 4
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Simon worries after he and Maggie don't have sex for the first time, worries that jenny will realise he cheated on his class's coursework and advises a girl to dump her boyfriend because he won't sleep with her.
Episode 5
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Simon nearly has sex with Jenny in a cupbord at school, but manages to resist becuase he loves Maggie. He moves in with Maggie, without asking her first and they have a flat warming party. Brian and Jenny sleep together.
Episode 6
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Simon tries to decide whether he wants to keep is job if it becomes permanent and the pressure of her new job finally gets to Susan. She has a breakdown and Brian gets to cover some of her classes.
Episode 7
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Pauline reports Bob for looking at her chest, meaning Simon has to deal with it when he should be trying to get on Bob's good side in time for his interview. Meanwhile a budding pornographer has been distibuting images of teacher's heads on naked bodies.
Episode 8
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Simon is plauged by nightmares about his interview. Liz tells him Jenny has tried to stop Susan taking the head of year job again. Simon has to sit through his dad's batchelor party worrying what Jenny might be saying to Maggie, everyone finds out what they'll be doing next year and Kurt starts a surprising new romance.
Series 2
Episode 1
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Simon, Brian and Kurt arrive back a day late from their holidays. Two new teachers have arrived at the school, Penny the new English teacher and JP the French teacher who Susan decides she fancies, but turns out to be gay. Meanwhile Kurt tries to avoid Carol, who still thinks they are going out, and Brian starts teaching Geography and finds that he had Liz's daughter Kayla in his tutor group.
Episode 2
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Simon feels threatened by JP because he thinks people like him better, and Kurt tries to show Carol it's over by pretending to be going out with Penny.
Episode 3
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The educational psychologist, Alec, who is trying to sort out an arsonist pupil ends up getting dragged into everyone else's lives when they end up coming to him with their problems. He also starts sleeping with Jenny and they are so noisy Susan decides to find a place with Simon, unfortunately the guys convince Simon to try and fancy Susan, and she goes off the idea when he tries to kiss her.
Episode 4
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JP moves in with Brian and Kurt, and tells them he's gay. Simon and Kurt try to convince Brian he is gay too and make him paranoid, then pissed off, but Brian manages to turn the joke around.
Episode 5
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Susan is driven to staying at Brian and Kurt's by the grunting coming from Jenny's room, then driven to sharing a bed with the two of them as they hide from the sounds coming from JP's room. Penny gets out of work by lying and crying.
Episode 6
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Clare sets up 'open sessions' where pupils can talk to any teacher about anything, and Kayla seems to be talking to everyone but Brian. Bob tries to get into shape to impress Penny.
Episode 7
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Susan decides she wants to have a baby after sitting through a talk supposed to encourage the kids to use contraception. Brian and Kurt both want to be the father, although neither has a chance. The new lab technician, Errol, gets on well with Carol and Brian finally wins against Kayla.
Episode 8
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Jenny is sick of how boring her life has become and decides to dump Alec, Simon realises his life is boring too, and worries it will stay that way if he doesn't do something, so he and buys a non-refundable plane ticket to South America.
Episode 9
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Everyone is annoyed at Simon for leaving them to cover his classes. Kurt tries to improve his ability to refuse to do extra work, but isn't as good at it as JP. Jenny tries to get everyone to help with getting to know about all the pupils personal problems, but no one else is interested.
Episode 10
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Matt, Simon's relacement arrives to have a look around the school, meanwhile everyone looks forward to the Christmas party, especially Kurt, who thinks it is traditional to have a shag afterwards. Brian feels bad after he makes Kayla cry, and Kurt, who realises no one else is interested in him tries to win Carol back from Errol.
Series 3
Episode 1
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Kurt convinces Brian that the new biology teacher, Lindsay, fancies him, Bob's wife dumps him for the satellite installation man, Matt dumps Penny and Carol is pregnant. Looks like it's going to be another normal term at Summerdown school.
Episode 2
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Sick of having to piss on the way home from the pub, Brian switches from beer to vodka, but he can't keep it down and ends up vomiting on the way home instead. Everyone tries to make Liz loose her temper, and everyone is getting tired of Penny's self pitying.
Episode 3
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Kurt tries to give up smoking after he decides it would make a student's mum that he quite liked agree to shag him. Unfortunately he puts on a lot of weight and it turns out she wasn't interested anyway. Kayla tells Brian his voice is boring, Matt suggests it might be because he's northern and Brian decides he's become the victim of anti-northern discrimination.
Episode 4
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Liz and Bob shag a few times and Bob becomes convinced that Liz is his girlfriend and she is going to leave her husband for him.
Episode 5
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Lindsay turns 30 and worries that she is getting old.
Episode 6
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When everyone is pared up with a 'stress partner', Lindsay and Matt are pared together. Penny worries they are getting along too well and tells everyone Lindsay is on the verge of a mental breakdown.
Episode 7
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The much anticipated return of Simon. Simon turns up back at the school with an enormous beard and is offered supply work by Clare. After they finally notice he's back, Brian and Kurt are pleased, until he sleeps with Eileen, the dinner lady that Brian fancied and tells Kurt too late that he didn't actually travel around the world. Kurt has already bet that he would travel around the world too, and since Simon didn't, he doesn't want too, but it means Lindsay owns his eyebrows for 6 months.
Episode 8
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Matt goes power crazy when he takes over temporarily as head of English while Bob has an operation. A weapons amnesty at the school causes problems for Kurt, who doesn't want to have to give up his beloved Swiss army knife.
Episode 9
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Everyone gets depressed when they realise none of them are in a relationship, but then Liz points out that Brian and Kurt are as good as married, and Brian's the wife. Brian realises that this is true, decides Kurt takes advantage of him and he does too much for him, so he dumps him.
Episode 10
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The pub is closed for renovations, so the evening's drinking is relocated to a park bench, where a parent spots Lindsay and makes a complaint, pupils complain about her teaching methods. One night without drinking and she turns into a teaching crazed loony who actually works and plans to turn Brian's playing field into a nature reserve. Carol has her baby, it's Chinese, so it's not Kurt's. Clare goes through the menopause.
Episode 11
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Brian wins himself a date with Eileen after defending the school dinners against Bob's complaints, unfortunately he is crap with women and can think of nothing to talk about. Even Kurt's book of pointless trivia doesn't help. A comment about Wham leads to Eileen giving him an old tape, Brian becomes paranoid that she is going to quiz her on it, decides he doesn't want to go out with her and dumps her, even though she didn't realise they were going out. And he forgets to shag her.
Episode 12
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Brian's attempted first aid lands Kurt in a wheelchair. Kurt is pissed off at first, but realises he seems to have better luck with women when he can't walk. When he gets better, he pretends he's still injured, making Brian do everything for him. He is made special educational needs co-ordinator by Clare and goes equal opportunities power mad. Brian begins to suspect that he's faking, but can't seem to prove it, until Kurt's new job turns out to be less cushy than he had thought. Meanwhile Brian organises sports day, Bob organises his own 55th birthday party and Lindsay and Penny disagree on who is more selfish, Matt or Kurt.
Episode 13
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Lindsay and Matt have a drunken snog and then find that no matter how hard they try, they can't pretend it didn't happen. Penny finds a new bloke, Clare and Bob shag (ewww!) and Brian and Kurt worry that they might be in love.
Series 4
Episode 1
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Summerdown has merged with another school in the area, and it is all change for the teachers. Bob has been demoted, and his new boss seems to be a hit with all the women. Lindsay and Penny are trying to integrate and make friends with the new teachers, but not all of them are really interested.
Episode 2
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Penny makes a pass at Ewan, but it all ends in humiliation. It's not long, however, before Penny is annoying everyone again with the news that she has a new admirer.
Episode 3
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Ewan is thrown into turmoil when he finds out that a male pupil fancies him. Ben has a crush on a lesbian, and Claire is suddenly very anxious to find out what it is that lesbians do.
Episode 4
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It's Obesity Awareness Month and Ben becomes obsessed with Lindsay's weight - his concern being that her death would be bad for his own stress levels.
Episode 5
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It's religious tolerance week and, as Bob finally takes delivery of his new wife, the teachers prepare to represent their allocated religions for the tolerance fair.
Episode 6
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Info soon
Episode 7
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It's racism awareness week, and Penny grows increasingly paranoid that her German background makes her a racist.
Episode 8
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Ben wants to get out of Bob's stag party. A ouija board told him he would die on Friday, and now he thinks he has seen a miracle.
Christmas Special
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The school is trashed after the Christmas party, the teachers are hung over, and Bob is planning his wedding in the playground. On top of all this, the Ofsted inspector is due.
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