Anthony's Web Site

Hello,

Welcome to this year's public service exam. I see that all of you have been able to find yourself a seat and desk so obviously you've got what it takes to be public servants.

Should you pass this exam and become a member of the public service, you will enjoy not only the esteem and envy of all your friends but also a unique package of fringe benefits, including:

• An early retirement scheme which allows you to retire while still turning up for work
• flexitime which enables you to decide when you don't want to work at work and when you don't want to work away from work
• free use of government stationery (this has been facilitated by the introduction of eight-items-or-less lanes as you leave the building)

I must at this stage warn all examinee's that anyone found cheating or copying from their neighbour's paper will be automatically assigned to Parliament - regardless of whether they fail the intelligence test ... ESPCIALLY if they fail the intelligence test.

Mathematics:

Please answer the following question in the spaces provided on your answer sheet.

If you went to lunch at 12 noon and came back to work at 2:30pm how long have you had for lunch?

The answer of course is half an hour.

For those who failed the maths test, you may still be eligible to become Mr Howard's tax policy adviser.

Multiple Choice:

1. If you are about to take your lunch break and a female member of the general public comes with an enquiry, you should address her by saying:
   1. Can I help you, madam?
   2. Can I help you, miss?
   3. What can I do you for, mate?
   4. How's tricks, doll-face
   The correct answer is 'none of the above'. This is a trick question. If you are about to take your lunch break, you shouldn't talk to her at all.

2. If a member of the general public phones up with a complaint and you realize that the file on this matter has been lost. You should say:
   1. We are looking into the matter
   2. Can I get back to you on this one?
   3. The matters have been referred to another committee
   4. I haven't had a chance to look into it yet.
   The correct answer is that you should tell them that they have the wrong telephone extension.

Spelling:

Spell the following words

1. Tea
2. Sickie
3. Lunchbreak
4. Go-slow

This is the end of the examination.

Please sign your exam paper illegibly and pass it to those collecting them, while denying that you have ever seen or heard anything about it.

Guide to Performance Appraisals:

GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS = Able to lie

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS = Spends a lot of time on the phone

AVERAGE EMPLOYEE = Not too bright

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED = Made no major blunders - yet

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY = Too ugly to get a date

ACTIVE SOCIALLY = Drinks a lot

FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY = Spouse drinks, too

INDEPENDENT WORKER = Nobody knows what he/she does

QUICK THINKING = Offers plausible excuses

CAREFUL THINKER = Won't make a decision

AGGRESSIVE = Obnoxious

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS = Gets someone else to do it

EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL = Speaks English

METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL = A nit picker

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES = Is tall or has a loud voice

EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT = Lucky

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR = Knows a lot of dirty jokes

CAREER MINDED = Back Stabber

LOYAL = Can't get a job anywhere else

logged by Anthony at 9:27:09 AM Link

Kate & Leopold is a romantic comedy staring Meg Ryan as a successful career woman in a advertising company. Her ex-husband is a 'mad' scientist that discovers are 'rip' in time that allows him to travel back to the past. The only problem is that he brings back Leopold. Played by Hugh Jackman. Like most romantic movies they fall for each other, but face the problem that they come from different centuries. There are some real funny part like when Leopold walks the dog and is caught by a police office for not collect the dog's poo, it is just lovely how he describes what the police officer is asking him to to. When the police officer ask for his name even that gets to be funny. As for the realism, there are quite a number of problems that just get glossed over. He adapts to modern clothing too easily, but if you suspend that reality it is a fun movie.

More information at IMDb
Buy the DVD from Chaos Music Amazon.com

logged by Anthony at 9:11:52 AM Link