me!

Chapter 17

The Gas City bar was like most places on west Main. Alive and hopping at night, deserted and dirty by day, It was obvious that it was a popular CB hangout as soon as I got to it. There were a bunch of underage CB boys and girls outside on the street. The whole front wall of the place had someone sitting or standing next to it for the length of the store front. There was a lot of activity going on in the alley too.

Two things really stood out. One, everyone was in black, including myself. Two, everyone looked like they were having a good time.

It was hard to believe this was a Monday night. In all the hangouts I was used to going to, if you showed up in the middle of the week it would always be quiet. I tried to imagine what that place would be like on a weekend.

I could hear the music playing loudly inside. There were some guys out front acting like they were going to fight. A couple of dozen CB's were standing around waiting to see if anything interesting would happen. I saw people in the crowd looking across the street. There was a car parked over there. Inside the car I could see four patrolmen in uniform. It made me nervous to see them but the crowd was actually trying to harass the police.

I didn't like the idea of those cops coming across the street to where I was. Somebody would be going downtown, to jail. It was still interesting to watch in a vindictive sort of a way. The CB's kept testing the police and the police kept acting like they weren't watching. A smile came to my face. It felt good to see those police getting some of the same medicine they had given me. I would have loved seeing them get their butts whipped. Cops, they acted so tough. It would be nice to see them get put in their place!

I remembered my promise to my father to come home safe and turned my back on the action and headed inside the bar. I had thought the music had sounded loud on the outside, inside it was deafening. The bar was a lot bigger inside than I thought it would be and lot more crowded. It was very dark with some few red and blue lights. There was a constant movement of people in and out of the door. I was jostled several times. I held my small purse tightly. This would be a good place for someone to grab it. I didn't trust these people. I was more than a little frightened as well as excited.

I got all the way in and to the side of the traffic flow in front of the door. Mostly people were going out to watch the rucus out front. It struck me as odd that the city fathers hadn't shut this place down.

Where I was standing not too far from the door there was very little light. I squinted my eyes and I saw maybe 50 people sitting at small tables on my side of the aisle and another 50 on the other side. Towards the center there was a lit area. That was the bar. Mostly the lights were there for the benifit of the bartenders. Behind the bar I could see more tables and there were people there dancing. Well, it looked more like a controled fight than anything. There was a stage and I could see a band playing. I was surprised that there was a live band.

I liked the music they were playing. Usually I didn't go in for that kind of a sound. It had a driving beat. It fit the mood of the place. I smiled. This could turn out to be fun. I looked arround for Toni and bumped into a waitress.

"Somethin' I can getcha', honey?"

"Yea, I'd like to find a seat."

"Try over there..." she said as she pointed.

I started to make my way in the direction she had pointed. I turned back arround to ask the waitress if she knew where I could find Toni. She was gone. I continued walking towards where I had been told I could find a seat. "How will I find Toni in all of this?" I asked myself half out loud. I felt a hand push me from behind. I turned arround to see what had happened. There was a woman standing there. She was obviuosly a hooker.

"Hey cunt, you lost or what?"

"What?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I had heard her.

She laughed. I wondered why then I got it. She had asked if I was "lost or what" and I had told her "what". She was rousting me. I hoped she wasn't trying to make friends. I didn't want anything to do with a hooker. She might have been looking for a sale, I had no idea what she might want.

"Toni wants to see ya'."

I looked in the direction she was pointing. I saw a hand waiving at me. I couldn't see any faces. I made my way between tightly packed tables towards where I had seen the hand. People kept having to scoot thier chairs up so I could get by. One man grabbed my leg and tried to get fresh. I sqirmed free and kept going. I looked arround for my escort. The hooker was gone.

I saw the hand waive again and made it to the booth table. I didn't see Toni. There were five people sitting there, a guy on each end, and three girls in the middle. The guys were checking me out and the three girls were in a huddle discussing something. When the huddle broke up I saw that the girl in the middle was Toni. She said something but I couldn't hear over the ruckus arround me. I could see where the four other people were getting up to leave. Everyone of them touched me as they walked by. One of the guys pinched my behind.

Toni was indicating that I should sit. I got in the booth and slid next to her. She put her arm on my shoulder and leaned close to my ear so I could hear her when she spoke.

"Glad you could make it, asshole." she told my ear.

I didn't have a snappy come back for that. "I'm glad to see you too, ya dungheap." I wasn't sure that qualified as a roust or not. I couldn't think with all the noise. I leaned closer to her ear and said a little lower, "You know the police were trying to get you today don't you?"

"Yea, a friend of mine told me that he saw someone get busted by the cops. It wasn't you was it?"

"Yea."

"How'd you get out of it so fast?"

"They got word that you had taken off so they tossed me out of thier..." a waitress arrived with two glasses of something. Toni tossed some money on the table and the waitrees was gone again.

"Go on." Toni instructed me.

I put my mouth near her ear again and continued,"...tossed me out of thier van to go look for you."

"You were lucky there. If it had been me I would have gotten the ride downtown. I don't understand how they let you go." She was eyeing me suspisiously.

"They never got a chance to see my permit." I explained. I took a taste of my drink. It was strong and bitter but had a sweet aftertaste. I could feel it burn as it went down. I kinda liked it.

Toni leaned over and told me, "You were lucky."

She pulled away and let me get my mouth close to her ear again. "I know." I backed up and turned my ear to her. I took another swig of my drink.

"You look hot tonight!" She told me.

I smiled and blushed at the same time. Toni was dressed pretty hot herself. She had on a body suit, black, of course, and knee high boots. Arround her waist she had on a pair of handcuffs. I don't mean they were arround her waist, she had a chain arround in back and the hancuffs secured to the chain with two padlocks. It kind of unsettled me to see them. The last couple of days everytime I saw handcuffs they had been put on me. I didn't like that.

I pointed at the handcuffs. "What are those for?"

"We wear black to remind us of death. The chains you see people wear are to remind us of life."

"How's that?"

"The police."

I nodded in appreciation. My stomach did a little flip flop. I took a big gulp of my drink. I wonderd just how big a part of my life would be consumed by the police.

The band stopped playing. There were shouts of tribute from the dance floor. I head the singer say they were going to take a break. I was glad even though they had been playing good music. I wanted to talk to Toni. All this shouting in each other's ear wasn't too good.

"Cool outfit." I told her. There was still a lot of noise with everybody talking and glasses tinking. The general hub-bub here was louder than the bands had been at all the dances I had been to with my friends.

"Thanks, I'm glad to see you dressed better. We need to get you some chains to set that outfit off a little more."

I laughed. "I had to sneak out of the house pactically as it was, Toni. I'm still not sure what kind of a life I want to lead yet."

"You're enjoying yourself now aren't you, Sue?"

"Yea, I'm fine." I drank the last of the drink Toni had bought for me. I noticed that Toni's was low too.

"How do I order some more of these?" I asked Toni.

"Watch." She pointed at a waitress. As soon as the waitress looked her way Toni held up her glass. The waitress held up a finger in reconition and Toni pointed back and forth between herslf and me. The waitress nodded and turned back to what she had been doing.

"Got it!" I told Toni. "Let me pay this time. How much will it be?"

"Two bucks a shot plus a buck tip."

"Ok....What's a buck?"

"You dweebs don't know anything. A buck is a credit!"

"Oh. Don't get mad." I said as I slipped five crdits out of my purse from under the table. I didn't like Toni to call me a dweeb. She hadn't been rousting. She'd meant it.

"Sorry, Sue."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I could see that Toni was anoyed.

"Yea kid, I like ya'. I just don't have as much patience as I useta'."

"I'm sorry I don't know anything."

"Quite saying that!"

"What?"

"That you're sorry. People might think that you are sorry. Y'know what I mean?"

"I think so."

I noticed there was some guy standing next to our table. As soon as I looked up to see who it was he sat down next to Toni. "Hey!" he told me and waived.

"Hey yerself!" I responed.

"This is one of my buddies. Sid meet Sue."

I nodded to him. He extended his hand to me like he wanted a shake. I started to give him one but Toni slapped his palm and said, "Cut that out, she's with me."

I didn't know what Sid had tried to do. It had to be some kind of a CB thing. I guessed I was lucky to have Toni watching out for my intrests. I was dissapointed he had showed up. I still hadn't gotten to talk to Toni abotu anything. The waitress showed up with drinks for Toni and me. I slid her the money and she nodded back at me. I took a large gulp of my drink as Sid ordered a drink of some kind for himself.

From the conversation Toni and Sid were having I surmised that Sid was in the band that had been playing. He played the percusion board. I complimented him on his playing. He had been good. I had noticed some very interesting percusion treatments while Toni and I had tried to talk earlier. He didn't say anything to me after I complimented him. He and Toni were talking about something. I couldn't hear everything. I think it may have been about pills. I felt left out of it. I noticed that I needed to hit the ladies room so I excused myself.

As soon as I stood up I felt very light headed and giddy. What ever I had been drinking was working. I promised myself I would have a few more of them whatever they were. I felt nice. I didn't want to get too intoxicated but I didn't want to get sober again, at least not for awhile. I vowed to watch what I drank so I would be sure to maintain that nice middle of the road feeling (a buzz) I already had.

I stumbbled to the restrooms and almost forgot why I was there. I splashed some water on my face before I left to sharpen myself up some. I decided to make a test of it. If I could find where I had been sitting then I could have a fresh drink otherwise I would baby the one I had. I cheated. I just followed along the wall where the booths were and looked at every one of them for Toni's face. I soon had my old seat and a fresh drink.

I was feeling silly and kept interupting Toni and Sid until they made me a part of what they were talking about.

Toni told me, "You're enjoying yourself now. Aren't you?" It wasn't really a question. I felt good. It was fun. I wasn't really quite as looped as I pretended to be. I was doing a lot of that just for the fun of it.

I heard the music start up again before I noticed Sid was gone. Toni slid over right next to me and put her arm arround me. I think she was feeling pretty good too.

"Glad you came?" She asked me.

I nodded my head, "yes."

I had finished another drink before I realized it. I was getting too drunk. I made up my mind to stop--for awhile.

"I'm glad you came too, Sue. If you want we'll hang out here for awhile then go to my place. We can talk there, I know that's what you really want to do. I have some detox so get as plastered as you want until then, ok?"

"Don't tempt me. I've never been this high before. It feels great but it feels wierd too. It feels like I haf hair on my tongue!"

"Enjoy! I can feel the hair on my arms."

"Me to! Wow, this is fun."

"Here Sue, pop a few of these pills."

"What are they?"

"This one's called a green meanie."

"A green meanie? What's it do, Toni?"

"It makes you smile."

"I'll bet. I'd better not. I don't do drugs. You never know what you're getting."

"Don't let it worry you, Sue. This stuff is all perfectly leagal. Like I told you today, ok?"

"Naw, I'm fine. What do you call this drink?"

"It's called gas water, Sue. It's something they concocted here. Pretty good huh?"

"Yea. Let's get one more, Toni."

"Ok, show me what you learned."

I nodded my head wisely. I swung arround and spotted a waitress. I pointed at her. She didn't look arround. She left and I saw another one and got her attention. I held up my empty glass in one hand and two fingers up with the other hand. She nodded acknowledgement.

I turned and smiled bleary eyed at Toni. She was getting a kick out of the way I was acting. I fumbled in my purse with numbed fingers and pulled out some money. I looked at it and wondered who had thought up the idea of money to begin with.

"You need more." I heard. It was Toni.

I looked at her blankly for a moment.

"More money..." she explained.

I looked at my money again. I only had one buck. That's a credit. I pulled out some more. I had five credits in one hand and one buck in the other. I was trying to figure out which hand had enough when the girl came and set our drinks on the table. She was kind enough to select the proper hand for me.

"Thanksh." I told her.

"No problem."

I smiled at Toni and reached for my glass.

"You'd better slow down, Sue." Toni told me.

"Ok." I let go of the cool glass.

"Sue--is that your first or middle name?"

"Firsth."

"What's your middle name?"

"Ann."

"That's right. Sue Ann Tegor."

"Yep."

"Don't you have a knickname?"

"Sure."

"What is it?"

"Dad calls me peachesh."

"Peaches? What a yuk! Don't your friends call you something?"

"Just Sue. Why?"

"Sue just sounds so plain and Sue Ann is even worse, and peaches sounds like something your dad would call you..."

"...He doesh."

"I know. What I mean is we need a new name for you."

"Why?"

"Sue Ann just doesn't fit you. We need something more up. Something with more pazazz."

"How about 'pazazz'?"

"No, not right."

"Well, what's your nickname?" I asked as I took a swig of my drink.

"Don't ask."

"Why, Toni?"

"Don't ask."

"Toni?"

"Yep?"

"I think I feel sick!"

She laughed and helped me make it back to the restroom. I hugged a comode and waisted all my gas water. Toni told me I kept calling out to some guy I must have known. When I asked her who's name I had called out she told me it was "Ralph". I didn't know a Ralph. It finally dawned on me that that was the noise I had been making while tossing my lunch. I felt much better afterwards.

I splashed some more water on my face and Toni, I, and another girl Toni knew went out on the dance floor. Toni found some guys and we danced--that is, went out on the dance floor and got pushed arround. It was kinda flaky but it was fun too. The music was wild. I saw Sid up on the stage. He was going at it. That guy could play. I had never heard music like that before.

You can buy music all day long and most of it is fine, some is even great, but music like I was listening to that night was fabulious! Why is that? Why can't they record more music like that? So it wasn't a big name band, it still seems that a music company could do well to go arround recording whoever they found and sell the best. As it was they always seemed to hold the best back and almost no one ever gets to hear it. What a waste! Why promote the name of a group when you could sell the name of your company. When people got ready to buy music they could just buy from you because they knew that you only sell the best. That's what the public wants.

We talked about that when we got through dancing. The guys took off--I think Toni kept indicating they were in the way. I didn't know if she was rousting them for real or not. She seemed to know what was going on so I just followed her lead. The other girl, the one from the restroom, was nice. Her name was Cindy. She was short and petite. She was friendly enough but her eyes were haunted looking. When she left for a minute Toni told me Cindy was a good person but was down on her luck. She was out on bail. Soon she would be sent to jail for using a stolen credit card it looked like. It was a shame.

We chummed arround and drank and danced for a couple more hours. I was very polluted by the time Toni said it was time for us to go over to her place. We went outside and ducked into some alleys I wouldn't want to go into durring the day. We went down one about halfway then climbed over a fence and cut across a deserted lot. It was very dark like inside the bar, but it was quiet. The air felt fresh and cool.

Our destination was a sort of a garage. We went inside and had another drink. It was very late by the time Cindy left. She was ok but she kept me from talking with Toni about what I wanted to talk about. To be truthful, I would have to admit that Toni and I wouldn't have had a very intelligent conversation if Cindy hadn't been there.

I was having a grand time. I had never been out like that before in my life. I supose the thrill was that we were doing more adult things than I had ever done before and the fact that we were doing CB things. It was dangerious and exciting, kinda. I really shouldn't have drank that much.

I remember Toni giving me an old t-shirt to sleep in. I put it on and we climbed in the bed. She was holding me when I dozed off.

The whole book in zipfile format.
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