Sid and I were siting at a table in the Gas City bar waiting for some kind of a delivery man. The night before had been great. The sex we had just had had been even better. I could have fallen in love with the man in a heartbeat. I was trying to brace myself from doing just that.
I had always thought I would fall in love with the first man I had sex with. That hadn't happened--he had just been some young boy, and that was all. Then I thought I would fall for the first man I was with. That was wrong too. It had just been two people taking advantage of each other. I had used him and he had used me. Love had nothing to do with it. I had just been curious about sex and he had just been curious if he could get in my panties.
I knew I was falling for Sid. It had to be more than just an infatuation. I looked at him and dreaded the time we would have to be apart. The latest I could stay was until midnight then I would have to go home and get some sleep so I could go to work Monday. I tried to calculate a way I could come back during the week and see him. At best we would only be able to be together for a few hours a day until the next weekend. I dreaded being apart from him for all that time. I even thought of quitting my job. Could I live with him (and Dick) in the bus out back of the bar? It would ruin it for us. I would resent Sid for making me live like that.
If I asked Sid to come live with me, and if I didn't get kicked out on the street for having a man living with me, he would learn to resent me because he would be away from his friends.
Could we get a place together where I could get to work and Sid could get to the bar to play in the band? I hoped so. I hoped we could find a way to be together.
I marveled at how fast my life had changed. This had all started out as a date with Alvin. I needed to call him and let him know everything was alright. How could I do that? I had an obligation to let Alvin know about Sid and how I felt about him. I took a swallow of my grape soda and held Sid's hand.
Sid was deep in thought, like me. Was he trying to figure out some way we could be together as much as possible? Did he feel the same as me? I thought he did. To confirm what I thought I went and sat in his lap. He liked that and gave me a hug and a kiss. I hugged his neck.
Why did it always have to be like that? It felt like when I'd find something I really wanted I'd have to give it up. Well, I wouldn't have to give Sid up. I just wouldn't be able to see him as much as I'd like to. I guess that's part of being an adult--realizing you can't do what you want all the time.
"What happened to you, baby? I go a whole year without seeing you and all of a sudden you're all over me like a coat of paint."
"Umm. It's a long story. I got arrested again and they threw me in jail. I was exposed as a CB. Dad got me out of jail and out of the house too. I've been living up by the clinic near Chesbrook-"
"You told me and Dick that this morning." Sid cut in impatiently. "What I want to know is why you didn't come by. Y'know it hurt Toni when you didn't come back. It hurt me too. Do you remember promising me you'd come back the next day or the day after?"
I looked at him sheepishly. "I couldn't, Sid. That's when they had me locked up. I know I should have been by sooner but I was afraid to try. When I got kicked out of the house I felt abandoned and I was living in fear that the police were going to slap some other charge on me for something else I hadn't done and lock me up for good. All I did was work and go home."
"Damn, I'm sorry, Sue. I didn't mean to say you had done anything wrong, and I know that's what it sounded like. What I was trying to say is I know you had problems but we missed you. Especially me. Boy, did I ever! I knew I wanted to see you again but I was surprised how I felt when I saw you on this dance floor last night. Wow! I couldn't believe my eyes!"
"I know." I told him in an exaggerated voice. "The whole bar knew."
Sid laughed.
"I wanted to thank you for that. It was very nice. Thank you, Sid."
"No problem."
"I think it's good to have somebody care enough to let the world know, to compliment somebody like you did me. You don't know how good that made me feel. I owe you."
"Not after what we did up on stage."
I looked at him blankly for a moment. "Oh, the sex. That was good too, very good. What I'm talking about is showing someone how you feel about them--and it doesn't have be something done in public."
"I know what you mean." Sid told me seriously. "Like when you let me tie you up."
"Oh no, that was nothing!"
"Oh yes it was. It showed me that you trusted me."
"Of course I trust you! I think I...."
"What?"
I had bit my tongue to keep from telling him that I was falling in love with him. Should I tell? "Sid, I'm not sure, it may just be an infatuation, but I think I'm falling for you."
"You're serious, aren't you?"
"Yes, I'm very serious."
"You don't know how happy that makes me to hear you say that because I think I'm fallin' for you too!"
I got a lump in my throat and a tear fell from my eye. I couldn't speak. I hugged his neck. Had I really been that lucky and found my Mr. Right? I thought I had.
***
It was a wonderful afternoon. We hugged. We kissed. We talked. We planned.
It was decided that we needed a place to live together. Neither of us had any doubts that we would be compatible. We were falling in love and that would see us through the rough spots. So what if he left the commode seat up.
Housing would be hard to find. I don't know how dad had found the place I had been living in. He may have been looking the whole month I was in jail or maybe the state had assisted him. At first I tried to figure out a way we could find a place exactly half way between where I had my job and the Bar where Sid helped out.
Sid nixed that saying I could get a job in the bar. That worked out well because I was already a good waitress. The problem would be trying to convince Mike to hire me. Working at the Gas City bar was a good job. The base pay wasn't as much as where I was at but Mike let all the waitresses, bar hops, and waiters keep their own tips. That would be great! I could double my take home pay!
We would ambush Mike that night about giving me a job then we would beg, cajole, and threaten until he gave in. Mike liked me so we had that going for us. Everything hinged on Mike. If he gave me a job I would begin immediately, quit my old job, spend the night in the bus, and we'd look for a place to stay on Monday. If he wouldn't hire me then Sid and I would just have to see each other when ever we could.
I had to get the job!
***
When the clean up crew showed up Sid usually just kept an eye on things and relayed any messages Mike wanted to give them. On that day Sid and I helped them clean up. We got the delivery Mike was worried about. Sid checked all the wires on the stage to be absolutely sure they were alright. We did everything we could think of to make the place look better.
After we were through we could barely tell the difference. When the lights were dimmed we couldn't see a thing we had done. We were disappointed. I took all the bottles off the shelves in the inner bar, cleaned the shelves and neatly put the bottles back. It still looked the same as before I had started. Mike had his operation pretty well figured out. Don't get me wrong, the Gas City bar was not a class joint where everything was neat and clean. Mike just had everything organized where you couldn't see how dirty it was. After Sid and I cleaned everything it still looked the same because all the grunge that we had cleaned up had been kept hidden. When we were finished all the clean was hidden just as well all the grunge had been.
It was depressing. I just had to get that job.
***
Mike finally returned at about three in the afternoon. Sid and I couldn't wait to sit him down and talk to him.
"So what do you kids want from me?" Mike asked.
"Mike", Sid began, "we've known each other how long now?"
"Too long. You're wanting something. Spit it out. Don't keep me in suspense. I want to know how much this will cost me. You didn't get everything working with the wires did you?"
"Yeh Mike, it's nothing like that. My girl here needs a job."
Mike turned and looked at me. He was sizing me up and weighing some of the pros and cons. "Sid this is business. You let me and the girl talk. You go find something to do for awhile, ok?"
Sid nodded and left in a hurry.
"Ok girl, you don't got no job? You tell me."
"Ummm, I already have a job, actually. I want to change jobs so I can be with Sid all the time. I waitress and I'm good at it, sir." I explained nervously.
"I've not seen you around before have I?"
"Not lately, sir. I was in here once about a year ago."
"Stop calling me sir! So you and Sid just got together all of a sudden?"
"Yeh, we haven't seen each other since the last time I was here."
"You said you're a good waitress. Where're you workin' now?"
"Ed's place over in Chesbrook."
"I know him. He's a dweeb, isn't he?"
"That's right Mike."
"Probably treats you bad."
"No, he's alright." I told Mike honestly. "If you want I'll wait tables tonight so you can see what I can do. How's that sound?"
"You want to get a job with me so you can be with your boyfriend who you've seen twice in a year? Is that the whole story?"
"Yes. What do you say?"
"What happens to me if you break up with Sid?"
"I don't think that will happen, Mike."
"Suppose it did...are you two adult enough to handle working in the same place with out making me let one of you go? How about if you don't break up? Can the two of you work together without a bunch of what I saw on my stage today?"
"There won't be any problems. I promise."
"Let me think about it, cookie thief."
I laughed to myself. Mike still thought that was my name! If only he knew how that had led up to the little show Sid and I had put on up on the stage.
"Thank you Mike, I'm sure you'll see what an asset I can be."
"You are a charmer, aren't you. I like you and Sid likes you. I'll hire you but you've got to do something for me."
"What's that?"
"Give Ed two weeks notice."
"You mean work for him for two more whole weeks?"
"You got it, cookie thief. You give him a chance to talk you out of leaving him and you give him time to replace you. That's the deal. I know the two of you want to just jump into this but this will give you a chance to think this through. If you still want to work for me in two weeks I'll give you three credits an hour and you get to keep all of your tips. I'll see you then." Mike got up and started to walk off.
"Wait! Please. You will give me a job but not for two weeks. Why? I need to change jobs now."
"No you don't. Think about it, cookie. This way I'll know you'll be a little more likely to stay at least a year. You think about it."
"When I give Ed my two weeks notice he'll fire me for sure. I asked him for a raise once and he almost fired me. Please say you'll let me start tonight."
"I know Ed. He always threatens to fire his waitresses when they ask for a raise. He won't fire you. He'll offer you more money if you're as good as you say you are. You do like I say and see what that dweeb does, ok?"
I sighed. "Yes. Thank you."
"We'll see. You might decide you hate my guts a week after you start. Give things time. You young people, always in such a rush."
The whole book in zipfile format.
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