me!

Chapter 37

Work was interesting that night. Mike had told Toni all her drinks were on the house and she was taking full advantage of his generosity. I was surprised at how many people came to visit her table. She seemed to know everyone. I felt a little out of it. I was jealous or something. I had thought that I was her best friend, but I could see that I was just another face in the crowd. Dick came to the bar with her and was making sure that everyone knew who she would be going home with that night.

***

Killer had heard that Toni had finally been released. He decided that it would be worth his while to see her. He didn't know where she was staying but knew that she would be at the Gas City bar most nights until late if there was any way at all that she could get there.

He hadn't been having much luck ciphering the plaques around the various rooms in the cave. He had found numerous computer terminals but hadn't figured out anything except the fact that he had stumbled on some kind of control center for an alien machine.

The machine was in the back in a cavern. It was big and in perfect condition. Generally it was shaped like a tube about two meters in diameter and ten meters long pointed at the roof of the cavern. It sat in a complex framework that looked like it would allow the machine to be rotated in a variety of directions. There was a mechanism for opening up the roof. At one point Killer had thought it was something like a telescope, but he decided that had to be wrong. Why hide a telescope? What would you look at, the hydrogen cloud?

He had considered turning it over to the city fathers for brownie points but he felt it was worth too much to just give up to them and he knew he wouldn't be able to sell it to anyone else.

It was a big headache.

***

Dick and Toni had left the bar about an hour before I got off from work. I figured they were satisfying ther animal needs. That sounded cold. I suppose I was feeling a little jealous of Toni after all. She had hogged attention in the bar all night and then she had carried Dick off to get him to boink her.

Ok, so I had come to think of Dick as mine. Well, not my lover or anything. He was just supposed to be there for me. That night when I got ready to leave the bar he wasn't. I felt like he should have been. To make everything that much worse I missed Ralph when I got off work. I didn't know if he had come by or not. All I knew was I was alone on the streets late at night. I scurried home as quick as I could. It was a three block dash. By the time I got the door to my apartment closed behind me I was out of breath and sweaty. My legs were tingling from the exercise. It had been scary.

I could hear noises in the bedroom.

Dick and I had a two room apartment. We had designated the back room as his, his bedroom. The other room was the kitchen/front room/my bedroom. When we had moved in I had insisted that Dick have a room of his own--heck, I knew I wouldn't be having any overnight visitors. The alternative, letting Dick have the front room, would have maybe forced me to go through the front room with whatever activities were in progress in the middle of the night.

I wanted Dick to have his privacy, for his as well as my benefit. To ensure my privacy I just went to bed nearly dressed. I had a cotton gown that was most demure.

I caught my breath and grabbed a glass of flavored water and a cracker. I sat down to unwind a little before trying to get some sleep.

Toni was giggling her head off. It sounded like Dick was tickling her to death. I chuckled to myself. I remembered how it had felt when Sid had done that to me. Man, I missed him at that moment. I tried to think of other things. It was late before the noise stopped.

I only had two hours sleep before the alarm went off for me to get up. It took me a few minutes to get it turned off. When I got up I could hear Toni complaining to Dick about me. It was going to be rough with all of us living together. I realized that this was the same thing Dick had to go through when I moved in with Sid and him. It wasn't very good.

I did what I had to at school and returned home glad to find no one there. Dick would be at work. Toni, I didn't know where she would go. I was glad to be alone. I was tired. I put on my gown, set the alarm and piled into bed.

Just as I was about to doze off Toni returned. She had some guy with her. I knew she was man hungry, but I wouldn't stand for her bring men to Dick's and my home to fool around while Dick was at work.

No, that wouldn't get it. If she wanted to spread it around she could go to where he lived. I wouldn't let her put me out like that and I didn't want her to hurt Dick. I didn't know what kind of a relationship she had planned with Dick but she wasn't going to use our home for a place to get a quick lay.

"Cookie! What are you doing back in bed?"

I gritted my teeth. I didn't want to be the bad host so I just smiled and told her, "Oh, I was a little tired."

"I want you to meet Killer." Toni said as she indicated the guy with her. I jumped at the mention of his name. Bad guy Killer! He wasn't at all what I had pictured. In front of me stood a good-looking, poised, young man. He had white hair just like Toni's. His face was angular but not rough. He wore jeans and a t-shirt covered with a coat that went to mid-calf. The coat was the thing. It was the only black he wore and had a high collar. Killer was eyeing me intently.

"Hi'ya Cookie."

"Hello...Killer." I felt venerable in front of this man. He was the man. The bad man. Those who weren't on his side feared him, that included me. I could have gotten mad at Toni for bringing him into my home, if I wasn't so scared. What had Toni been thinking of? "Would you excuse me while I get up and go to the restroom...excuse me.."

I grabbed my 'cover up' clothes that I used to hide my waitress outfit when I went to and from work from where I had dropped them beside my bed. I went to the john and got dressed as quick as I could. I was swearing at Toni under my breath and planning a long conversation between me and her the first time I could get her alone. When I went back out to the front room Toni was getting something to eat as Killer made himself comfortable in a chair. He stared at me as I straightened up the bed and folded it back up.

I sat down on the fold-away bed and waited for what would happen next. I didn't want to be friendly to Killer because I didn't want him ever coming inside my home again and I didn't want to be too unfriendly lest he decide he needed to teach me a lesson or something. I would have loved throwing something at him and running him off.

"I've seen you around the bar before, do you remember me?" Killer asked me.

I crossed my legs and arms stiffly. "No, I don't." The fact of the matter was I did remember him slightly. He had always been with some group. They would show up from time to time only to leave after a little while. I guess he had been making his rounds--for whatever purpose. I didn't want to think about it.

"You don't remember seeing Killer at the bar?" Toni chastised me.

"I don't know. I'm pretty busy y'know."

"Ow! Chill out Cookie." Toni told me. "What's got you so up tight?"

I hadn't meant to let my irritation show so much. I started to apologize when Killer interrupted me...

"You were wanting to get some sleep weren't you? I'm sorry, I'm bothering you. I can leave if you want?"

I looked at him in surprise. He was polite. That was surprising to me. "No, it's alright. I'm sorry, I was being rude. Forgive me."

"No problem, Cookie. Toni tells me that you teach people to read and write."

"Yes, I enjoy doing what I can. Do you read and write?" I figured that was what the visit was leading up to. I was set to tell Killer he could attend classes at the school where I taught, just like every one else, but he surprised me with his next question.

"You were in accelerated classes in school?"

"Yes, but that has nothing to do with my teaching."

"Did you have a major, Cookie?"

"Um...liberal arts." this was beginning to sound like a job interview. "Why?"

"Do you know what this means?" Killer asked as he handed me a piece of paper with some writing on it.

It was written in a neat, male style. I was sure Killer had written it. This is what was on the paper:

         M NM S KLLR. 
         I ND YR HLP T FND SMTHNG. 
         WLL U PLS HLP M?

Obviously it was written without any of the vowels except where absolutely needed.

"Cookie, if you can read that just write down what it says, please." Killer told me as he handed me a pen.

This is what I wrote:

         My NaMe iS KiLLeR. 
 I NeeD YouR HeLP To FiND SoMeTHiNG. 
      WiLL yoU PLeaSe HeLP Me?

"Good!" Killer exclaimed. "I've got some stuff that's written in code that I need translated. I'll pay you good money to do it for me."

"What do you have that's coded? This isn't illegal is it? Where'd you get it?"

"Cookie, I'll pay you good money but all those questions will have to go." Killer warned me calmly.

"This is a chance to help." Toni explained. "Please say you'll do it. This is a chance to stop all this police harassment. We need you. I told Killer all about your accelerated classes. Someone with your background is hard to find down here. It's hard enough finding a CB who can read or write let alone run a computer."

"I don't like this. I know who you are Killer. You break the law. I don't want anything to do with any of that. All I want is to be left alone. If you can show me where this is on the up and up then I'll be glad to do what I can--if I have the time. Now I'm sorry, I don't share your views on how we need to solve our problems. Please count me out."

"Sounds like you already have your mind up, Cookie. If you don't trust me or you just don't want to do it then that's fine. Let me tell you one thing though..."

"What's that?"

"It's worth 5,000 credits if you do it."

I blinked at the man. What I could have done with that many credits! "Can you get Sid out of jail?"

"Oh your boyfriend, no I can't help you there. It would draw too much attention. 5,000 bucks would go a long way towards buying your dream house when he gets out though."

"Just as soon as I did it I would get arrested and then I'd be in jail. You tempt me but I just can't do it. Please, I don't want anything to do with any of this."

Toni came over to where I was sitting. She had her hands on her hips and she was livid. "Look you sorry excuse for a CB, Killer is giving you a chance to help CBs everywhere and you are giving him the brush off! Do you think I would bring some wise-guy, punk, thief in here? Do you think if Killer wasn't the best thing to happen to us CBs I would hang with him. It's about time you came down off of your ivory tower and got into the swim of things!

"Here's what's going on, Killer has found some files and memos that reveal how we CBs get the shaft from the law. He has documents that prove that the police are told to kill this person or that one. It's your duty to translate those documents so we can put the people who are high in government and discriminating against us in jail.

"If they kill any more people it will be because you didn't help us. Killer has friends in the system who are willing to prosecute these murderers!

"How can you even consider not helping, Cookie?"

I looked at her. What had she gotten mixed up in? What was killer up to? "If you need someone to figure out what those documents mean then why don't you have your high placed friends do it? They can probably get the correct codes and everything."

"I don't want to just turn the documents over to them." Killer elaborated. "Suppose they just sell them to the people involved or they decide it's just too embarrassing for the government? Suppose they come back to me and tell me it was all a grocery list. I've got to find out what I have before I even contact those people. Don't worry about it. If you don't care then I'll just try to find some one else to do it."

How had I gotten involved in all of this? Toni sure hadn't wasted any time getting involved in something dangerous. "Ok, how'd you get these documents to begin with, Killer."

"I stole them."

I looked smugly at Toni. "And I suppose you want me to get involved in that?"

"Where did you think he got 'em? He's being honest with you, can't you see that? Are you dense or what?"

"I don't know..."

Killer came to my rescue, "She dosen't want to get involved. She's afraid or maybe she thinks everything will eventually work out on ther own. If she can't stand the heat then just let her go. I know she dosen't want any trouble. The system has pounded her down so much that she afraid to even dream of getting back up. I understand. Her boyfriend's in jail and all that is holding her together is the thought that they will get together again."

Killer was reading me like a book. I had been afraid to even dream. I know I had that dream about owning my own place on the frontier with Sid, but that was just running away. I remembered back to when I had first found out I was a CB. I had wanted to just run away then too.

I admitted it to Killer, "You're right. Let's start over again. I have to admit I'm biased against you. That's the way I was brought up. I was taught to not trust people who break the law. Maybe you have a good reason. Are you telling me that you actually want to help us CBs?"

"Yes, I do."

"Why Killer?"

"You know I'm an original?"

"Yes. So..."

"When I came here there was no such thing as a CB. This whole CB thing is a hoax!"

"What are you saying, Killer?"

"CBs have souls, Cookie."

"Shit!" I told him disgustedly. "Look, I know what I am. I've made my peace with it. Don't come in here and try to promise me the one thing I can't have! I thought you were for real."

"I am Cookie. I don't know where this 'CBs don't have souls' thing came from. Maybe everyone is right. Maybe you don't have a soul. I don't know how they found that out--I don't care. To me CBs are just as good as anyone else. The way I have it figured probably all the residents of Tower colony are CBs."

"What do you mean, Killer?"

"You think about it. Any time either parent is a CB or uses cloned reproductive organs then all the offsprings are CBs. Let's say that one quarter of the original colonists had cloned organs and let us further presuppose that they mated exclusively with mates with cloned organs. Now lets say all the resultant CBs mated only other CBs and there was no mixing, right?"

"Ok."

"Then that would mean the ratio of dweebs and CBs would remain the same."

"That's what is tried for, Killer."

"Tried for is right. Look at you. What would have happened if you had been with a dweeb boy and conceived a child before you could be stopped."

"I know. I've thought of that too, Killer. I believe that's why I was picked up for the accident and the drug charge. It's like they forgot about me--until I got my permit. I think once they remembered that I was a CB they were willing to do anything to get me over on this side of town--where I belong."

"What would have happened if they hadn't found you, Cookie?"

"I don't know. I would have lived as a dweeb, I guess."

"That's right and you would have given your husband children--CB children. Generation after generation those CB children would have spread the seed. Assuming that each generation doubled itself, that is each generation had two offspring, then on the second generation there would be two CBs in dweebland, on the third generation four CBs, fourth eight CBs, fifth sixteen, sixth thirty two, 64, 128, 256, ect."

"If!"

"There have been the possibility of 1000 divided by 20 years or 50 generations. Back when we first settled it was not public knowledge who had cloned organs. Say that one CB slipped through the cracks. That would mean there had been enough generations to create millions of CBs."

"No Killer, it would have been the fiftieth power of two. That would be billions, trillions, maybe even more CBs. There aren't even that many people on the whole planet. This is stupid."

"Not really. What I'm pointing out is that if even one CB went unnoticed then everyone would be a CB..."

"Wait! Are you trying to say we are all CBs? That the city fathers are CBs too? You mean they are just pretending to be better than the rest of us?"

"The odds are excellent that that is the situation."

"No! It can't be! That's impossible. A whole planet of CBs? I can't believe it. Then none of us are real. What would our purpose be?"

"What purpose, Cookie? Who says we are supposed to have a purpose?"

"I don't know. There has to be some reason we're here. What good would it do for all of us to be living a charade of life? If all the real people are gone why would god bother to keep the world going just for our benefit?"

"I don't know anything about all of that, Cookie. All I know is I'm alive and I want to enjoy it while I can. I want others to enjoy it too. It's like our sense of self preservation. It's built-in, way down deep at our roots. It's just like our sense of species preservation. We all want humans to live on forever. The thought that each of us must die is horrible, but the thought that all of us may one day be dead, that there may be no surviving human beings is unthinkable." Killer explained.

"Will ya' get a gander at you two!" Toni exclaimed. "What is this, the think tank incarnate?"

I laughed. This Killer guy was pretty smart. He thought deep thoughts. I like that in a man.

"I am getting long winded, Toni. I suppose I should stick to the point. The point is; I don't think being a CB is any worse or better than being a dweeb, or at least it shouldn't be. The dweebs have sold you so-called CBs a bill of goods. It's a ruse. There probably aren't any true dweebs left anymore anyway and even if there were I don't see that as an excuse to take advantage of you.

"Everybody should have the right to try to achieve as much as they can or want. I wouldn't bother trying to help but I think the so-called dweebs have walked on you CBs more than enough. It's time to get your fair share.

"Cookie, I know you are feed up with the current state of affairs. Look at your life; you are sent to jail for something you didn't do, kicked out of the house, made to live in squalor, and have your boyfriend locked up. Look at yourself! You could have been someone if they had let you finish school, if they would let you get a decent job.

"We've all got to work towards the day when all CBs will be treated as good as any dweeb. I'm doing my best. Will you help?"

I looked at him. I was impressed. I kept warning myself to be careful. How did he know so much about me? I guess when you have connections it's not too hard to find out almost anything you want.

There had been all sorts of people down through history that had talked the talk and promised everything then once they were in a position of power they had only done things to please themselves.

I liked Killer. He was nothing like I had expected. He was a man of power and action. He was intelligent. He had that something that makes you think he really knows the score. "I'll do what I can, Killer."

"Great! You won't regret this. You may be able to do a lot. I'll talk with Mike and get you all the time off you'll need. You can make arrangements with the school you teach at and tomorrow I'll pick you up and take you to the site."

"'Pick me up'?" I echoed. "Can't I do this here? You sound like I'll be gone for awhile."

"You'll be going to my lab. I want you to stay there until you have finished the job. Don't worry, Toni will be going with you."

"It's not that, exactly. How will you clear this Mike and I'm not sure I can just drop what I'm doing at the school right now. I have obligations to people. I'm sure I could do this right here at home. Just bring the stuff by that you want me to look at. I'll see what I can do."

"I can't just leave a document like this with you, Cookie. I need to maintain some secrecy, some security. It's for your good as well as mine."

The whole book in zipfile format.
me!
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