Kevin	:::	"Daria, you're a chick, right?"
Daria	:::	"Why, you have a biology test today?"
Mr.:O'Neill	:::	"Right here and now, let's pledge to make Daria's dream a reality."
Daria	:::	"You mean the one where people walking down the street burst into flames?"
Helen	:::	"You know, Daria, it wouldn't hurt you to get involved in some afterschool projects once in awhile."
Daria	:::	"Can't talk now. I'm chairing a meeting of the Resting Quietly Club."
Daria	:::	"Did anyone ever make you play 'Pop Goes the Weasel' every day for a month?"
Mr. O'Neill	:::	"No, but I once had to recite the Gettysburg Address wearing a rainbow wig and panties that said 'Tuesday.' Whatever made me want to join a fraternity."
[after Mrs. Johannson passes out]
Jane	:::	"Do you know CPR?"
Daria	:::	"I once gave the Heimlich Maneuver to Quinn."
Jane	:::	"Did it work?"
Daria	:::	"She wasn't choking."
Jane	:::	"Five dollars apiece. We would have made over a hundred bucks."
Daria	:::	"Yeah. And all we had to do was take a human life."
Jane	:::	"You always see the downside, don't you?"
Jane	:::	"She has no family. She ate them." [mean, but funny]
Daria	:::	'How about 'The Bleakness that Lies Ahead'?"
Jane	:::	"Too sentimental."
Daria	:::	"'No Life, No Hope, No Future'?"
Jane	:::	"Too pie-in-the-sky."
Daria	:::	"'Mommy's Little Hypocrite'?"
Jane	:::	"Too much like a children's book."
Daria	:::	"I wish I were dead."
Jane	:::	"That sounds promising."