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| Jamie: Ever hear of that disgusting diet drink called Slim Fast? Well, now, after realizing what a failure that turned out to be, a different (and better!) company has created something to put you on a fat diet! Jessie: Which side would you rather be on? Would you rather look like this? (Shows a beautiful slim model posing for pictures) Jamie: ...or THIS? (Shows a fat slob sitting in front of TV downing Fat Fast) Jessie: I think the answer is obvious: The fat couch potatoe. Why? First of all, you won't have to worry about a thing! Not your work, not your looks ... not even your own living room! And best of all, you don't have to worry about getting teased anymore for being too skinney! Skinney kid: Alright! Jessie: 'Cause when they tease you for being too FAT... (Skinney kid pulls out a can of Fat Fast and glugs it; suddenly he gains 145 lbs) Jessie: You can fight your way out of it! Bully: Hey kid, you're one fat, butt-ugly-- (KA-POW!) Jessie: And you won't ever get teased again - thanks to Fat Fast! Jamie: This could be YOU! And the way to get there is fast and easy ... and for the better! With each sip of Fat Fast that you take, you will immediatly gain 50 lbs! So forget about counting calories and fat grams - just enjoy yourself! Jessie: But be careful! DO NOT ABUSE! Fat Fast overdoses can be fatal. Because once you drink too many... (Shows fat slob finishing a can of Fat fast; opens another can and takes a sip) (KA-BOOM!) Jessie: I think you get the point. Jamie: It comes in great flavors like burgers, donuts, beer, and pizza! Jessie: America is full of fatty, cancerous foods that risk heart attacks - let's keep that ball rolling! Keep out of children's reach. Never use this product if you are pregnant, or if you think that you possibly might be. Because all the cholesterol and fatness will go straight to your unborn child, making it too big to push out by the time you are in labor. C-sections will be unable to save your unborn child, because it will already have died from a heart attack by the time the doctors get there. So don't risk it! Jamie: Fat Fast is used by people everywhere. Guarenteed to get you plump! Let's ask that fat slob what he thinks: Fat slob: Fat Fast rocks, man! (BELCH!) Jessie: Well, now that you've seen for yourself just how excellent Fat Fast is, try some yourself - today! Now sold at grochery stores worldwide! Jamie: Don't grow tall. Grow wide - the fast way! Fast Fast - buy it today! |
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