Memorial Park
1500 Local

Harm stuck his hands in his pockets, wishing he’d thought to bring his gloves. As usual, D.C.’s weather had changed on a whim. Was it only yesterday that it had been 75 degrees and sunny? Today it was cold, overcast, and gloomy, matching his mood. He almost laughed at the ironic metaphor.

This morning he’d lied to Mac. True, he’d only done it because he had too, he couldn’t tell her about this meeting with Casey. He’d come up with some cock and bull story about interviewing a witness about the Macpherson case he was working on. He cringed mentally as he remembered looking into those trusting brown eyes and lying. He reminded himself he had no choice.

He felt awful. Not getting a wink of sleep all night long had not had a particularly good effect on him. He’d spent the night wrestling with his anger. Realizing that walking around in a brooding rage was counterproductive to rational thinking, he’d finally managed to get some control of it. Truthfully, it had more to do with the fact that he knew he needed to be there for Mac than for anything else. He was not going to be much use to her if he couldn’t manage his own anger.

The guilt was another matter entirely. He couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow he’d let her down. He should have been able to protect her. He should have been able to do something. On one level, he knew that it was irrational to think that way. On another, it didn’t matter. He felt how he felt. Even if he hadn’t said the words, she was his to protect.

And of course, there was Mac. A good portion of the night had been spent trying to decide how to handle this. Should he confront her? Should he try to get her to talk to him? How would she react when she realized he knew? He had a feeling it would not go down easily with her.

Should he tell anyone? The Admiral? In point of fact, he was duty bound to tell the Admiral. If what he suspected was true, Mac had no business being on this particular case. But Mac had never betrayed him like that. Even when she knew he was going after Diane’s killer, she had protected his career at great risk to her own. She’s never told the Admiral anything.

Maybe he should consult a professional. Maybe he should get Mac to consult a professional. Hell, maybe he should have his head examined for trying to handle this on his own.

The only thing he’d decided on was that he had to talk to Casey before he did anything. Hopefully, she’d be able to give him irrefutable evidence as to the truth. Until then, anything he had was basically supposition and intuition. If he confronted Mac, he’d need something solid. If he knew one thing about her, it was that she was stubborn. She’d never admit to anything unless cornered.

And even more hopefully, once he had the facts, the path to follow would become clear.

So he’d showered, shaved, and dressed for work, steeling himself to behave normally around Mac and not to show any undue concern around her. Not an easy task.

She’d been in her office when he’d arrived. As usual. Dumping his briefcase and cover in his office, he’d looked through the glass, trying to see if there was anything in her demeanor to give him a clue as to what she was feeling.

At first glance she’d looked as she usually did, calm, collected, in control. The very image of everything a marine could aspire to be.

A closer look revealed that she appeared wan and tired, with circles under her eyes that even expert make-up couldn’t hide. She’d never been fat, but she’d lost some weight. And there was an overall fragility that had never been there before. In fact, fragile was a word he’d never associated with Mac before now.

It had taken all his strength not to stride into her office and just take her in his arms. Not in passion, as he’d thought of many times, but to give comfort. If there was anything in the world he wanted, it was to take that wounded look away from her…to give her back what was taken from her.

But he couldn’t.

Instead, he treated her as if it was just another day, glossing over the previous day’s incident. She’d obviously been surprised by his apparent lack of righteous indignation about her lapse, but just as obviously, she’d been relieved.

He’d briefed her on the rest of the meeting with Gloria Masters, wrapping it up as quickly as possible, not going into many details. Then he’d pled a busy morning coping with the Macpherson case, including an afternoon interview, and they’d agreed to have dinner at his place to discuss strategy.

So here he was, sitting at a picnic table, waiting to question a teenager about Mac. He was investigating his…his….what? Best friend? She was that, of course, but she was so much more. He rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. Damn it, why hadn’t he told her before now?

“Commander Rabb?” A soft voice interrupted his tortured thoughts.

He rose automatically. “Casey?”

At her nod, he gestured for her to sit down as he resumed his seat. “Thanks for coming.”

She was a young pretty brunette, conservatively dressed for a teenager. He hoped she was exactly what she looked like-a nice girl that didn’t lie easily. He noticed her shiver. “Are you cold? We can go over to the McDonald’s, if you want. It would get us out of the cold.”

“No, that’s all right. I’m not sure what I can tell you anyway. I told the police everything I know.” Her eyes shifted away from his as she spoke.

The band around his heart tightened another notch. Despite everything, he’d held out a desperate hope that he was wrong and that Casey would allay his fears. It didn’t look like that was going to happen.

“I appreciate you talking to me, Casey. I wanted to talk to you about the Colonel.” He shot his best smile at her, hoping to gain her confidence.

She didn’t smile back. “The Colonel? You mean Mac?” Her concern was immediate.

At his nod, she asked, “Is she okay?”

He zeroed in on the opening. It was like shooting fish in a barrel. The inexperienced girl wouldn’t have a chance with him questioning her. “Why do you ask? Is there some reason she wouldn’t be?”

Casey looked down and flushed. “Of course not. I just…I mean…she was very nice to me and I…um…just want her to be okay.”

Harm hesitated deliberately, prolonging the moment. “Well, Casey, that’s why I wanted to talk to her. I don’t think she’s okay.”

Casey’s head came up with a snap. “What’s wrong?”

Again Harm paused, increasing the young girl’s anxiety. “Well, I don’t want to say too much, but she’s just not acting like herself. She’s not sleeping, and she’s not feeling well.”

“Well, it’s no wonder. Look what she went through!” Her voice rose indignantly, but she caught herself quickly. “I mean…she protected me and the little boy. And then she had to shoot those men. It’s no wonder she’s having a hard time dealing with it.”

He softened his tone, hoping to draw her out. The girl was never going to be a good prevaricator. “She’s a marine, Casey. She’s had to shoot people before. And it’s her job to protect people, she’s trained for it for years.”

“Not for that! No one is trained for that!” She practically yelled, and then fell silent.

“For what, Casey?” He kept his tone gentle, coaxing.

He could see her trying to back peddle, stammering. “For…for…well…that situation. She wasn’t prepared for it, that’s all.”

He waited until she calmed a little, and then looked her in the eyes. “Casey, the only way to help a person is to tell the truth. Even when the truth is painful.”

“I know…but…I…” She started to cry then. “I can’t. She asked me not to. I promised her.”

Reaching out, he laid a soothing hand on her shoulder. “If you want to help Mac, tell me the truth, Casey. I can’t help her unless I know the truth. And I want to help her so badly.”

She drew a shaky breath and then looked up at him. “I just want her to be okay. She did so much for me that night. More than anyone ever did for me.”

Her sincerity touched him, and he answered in kind. “I know. She’s done more for me than anyone has ever done, too. That’s why I need to help her.”

“Okay.” Another shaky breath, then she started. “That night, those men broke in. Do you know what happened?”

He gave a short nod as he answered. “Only what was in the police reports.”

“Well, I…we…left some things out. When we got to the back, the men wanted to…to…” She broke off.

He helped her out. “To force themselves on you?” Why, he wondered to himself, is the word so hard to say?

She nodded and continued in a choked voice. “They kept saying things, awful things, about what they wanted. And one of them, the older one, started touching Mac. The young one laughed a lot, but he held the gun on us. The other one, the one touching Mac, he was groping her all over. But the little boy, he started crying. Then he came towards me, but she stopped him. She told him…she said that he shouldn’t bother with a young girl like me. That what he really wanted was a more experienced woman.”

The girl sobbed, breaking down, but got herself under control. It was obvious now, that this had eaten at her as well as Mac.

Harm was getting nauseous again, but he forced himself to listen, to project calm. It was if he had stepped outside himself and was observing the scene from a distance.

“Then she said, if they would leave me alone, she’d do whatever they wanted. The guy, he went over and slapped her. I don’t know why, maybe it was a test or something. The little boy started screaming then. The guy told her to shut the brat up. Somehow, she got the little boy to stop crying and handed him to me. Then she asked the guy to not do anything in front of the little boy.

He just laughed and said he didn’t need an audience to get off. Then he took her into the office and shut the door. They were there for a long time. The young one, with the gun, he just kept grinning at me, but he kept his distance. He was like…listening at the door…but there was no sound.

Until the gunshot. When that happened, he opened the door and ran in. There was another gunshot. Then nothing.

I didn’t know what to do, so I…I…just held on to the little boy and stayed in the corner. I should have run away…or at least to check…but I was so scared. I was just frozen.”

Harm nodded understandingly.

“Then finally, I don’t know how long it was, Mac came out. She…her hands were shaking, but she seemed so calm. She said it would be easier not to tell everything that happened, easier for her and easier for me. The little boy, he grabbed on to her and wouldn’t let go.”

“I just said okay. I couldn’t argue, not after what she did. She saved me. I mean, I’ve never…you know…been with anyone. And she did that…just so…well…to protect me and the little boy. I just wanted her to be okay, I wanted to help anyway I could. If not telling helped, I promised I wouldn’t.”

She broke down completely then, sobbing her heart out.

Harm shook himself out of his stupor and reached across the table to take her hand. “It will be okay, Casey. I promise. I’m going to help her.”

The only problem was he didn’t know how he was going to help. For once, knowing the truth hadn’t made the path any clearer.

 

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