JAG Headquarters
Thursday
1120 Local

Harm was standing nervously outside the admiral’s door, hoping his plan would work. He was pretty sure it would, but if it backfired, it would hurt Mac. When the expected “Enter” sounded, he took a deep breath and strode in to stand at attention in front of the admiral’s desk after closing the door.

“Have a seat, Commander.” AJ looked over his glasses at him. “What did you need?”

Harm sat down, taking another deep breath to fortify himself. “Thank you, sir.”

There was a short pause as Harm tried to think of the best way to start, but AJ beat him to the punch. “Is everything all right?” Given Harm’s unusual hesitation, he figured this was about Mac.

No, Harm wanted to shout. Everything is definitely not all right. In fact it’s screwed all to hell. Of course, he didn’t say that. “Not exactly, air.”

“What’s the problem?” AJ didn’t like the way this was starting out. It didn’t bode well.

Instead of answering the question directly, Harm sidestepped. “Actually, sir, I need your advice on a personal matter.”

“Go ahead.” AJ noted the evasion, more convinced than ever that this was regarding Mac.

“Uh…well Sir…I have a friend and she’s had some trouble recently. A lot of trouble, actually, and I’m not sure how to help. I wondered if you could make a suggestion or two.” Harm watched his CO’s face carefully to see if he picked up on his doubletalk.

“That sounds serious, Commander. What kind of trouble?” Thank you God, the admiral got it.

“Well, sir, she was in a convenience store that was robbed, but there was more to it than she led the police to believe.” Harm paused, finding it difficult to continue. He could only imagine how hard it would have been for Mac.

AJ looked concerned. “Go on.”

“She…well, Sir…it seems that she was…well…there was a rape.” His stomach still twisted at the thought.

Sick comprehension dawned on AJ’s face. This explained so much of Mac’s behavior. “Rape?” Despite his attempt to remain calm, the horror in his tone was unmistakable. “She was raped?”

Harm nodded and gave him more details. “It seems that the men were threatening both my friend and a young girl. There was also a toddler present. My friend convinced the men to leave the girl and the toddler alone by promising not to fight them. She…” His voice broke, but he forced himself to continue. “She didn’t want anyone to know, but she’s having a difficult time dealing with it.”

AJ took off his glasses, throwing them on the desk. “I would imagine she is.” Rubbing his eyes, he sounded strained. “Damn it.” It figured Mac would sacrifice herself to protect others. He gave Harm a meaningful glare. “The SOB responsible is dead already, isn’t he?”

Harm knew exactly how he felt. “Yes sir. I only wish I could get my hands on him. Death is too easy for him.” The two men stared at each other, both in protective mode. And, quite frankly, wanting revenge. Finally AJ looked away, taking a deep breath to get himself under control.

Harm gave the admiral a chance to compose himself before continuing, but AJ beat him to the punch. “So why didn’t…your friend report this to the police? Or to…anyone?” What he meant was, why didn’t she come to me?

“She doesn’t want anyone to know. Somehow, she sees this as a humiliation…she’s afraid she’ll be viewed as weak, or worse. And she feels she’d lose respect in the workplace.”

Incredulous, AJ stared at him. “What? Doesn’t she know that I…uh…I mean…most people…her boss would just understand? I’m sure he wouldn’t think less of her! She should have known she could have come to me…him. He would have understood.” Damn it, this doubletalk was stupid. Stupid, but necessary, if he was not to know officially about the incident. “I’m sure he would have supported her, made sure she was helped.”

“I know, sir. I told her that”. Knowing the admiral as well as he did, Harm had figured he’d be upset that Mac hadn’t come to him. “But she’s defensive. And angry. She’s not thinking too clearly about all this, if you know what I mean.” He paused again, and then let the admiral know it wasn’t just him that Mac wanted left out. “She didn’t even want to tell me, but I did some investigating and found out. She wasn’t happy with me for that.”

Now there was a longer pause as AJ considered everything Harm had told him. Grimly he pressed for more information.

“Is she going to get help? I mean, counseling?” The deep concern in AJ’s voice touched Harm, although it didn’t surprise him.

“She’s agreed to it, but it took some convincing. We just have to find someone now, someone she can trust.” In fact, Harm thought this would be difficult. It was not easy to find a counselor, not one you could feel comfortable with.

AJ flipped through his rolodex and withdrew a card. Handing it to Harm, he said, “Try this one. I’ve known her for several years, and she’s reliable and discreet.”

Grateful, Harm took the card. “How do you know her, sir?” He spoke before he thought, not realizing he might be asking for information he wasn’t entitled to.

AJ hesitated, then answered truthfully. “She helped me through some rough spots when I came back from Vietnam. You can tell that to your friend, if it helps. We all need help sometimes.”

Harm decided not to comment, it wasn’t his business. “Thank you, sir.” One more thing had to be covered. He was sure the admiral would think of it after everything had sunk in, but he might as well bring it up now. “Sir? One more thing about my friend…”

“Yes?” AJ sounded like he wanted to yell, but was forcibly maintaining his composure.

“Well, sir, she’s been working too hard to try to escape from everything. In fact, although she won’t say so, she’s actually working on something now that’s difficult for her.” He waited for the Admiral to realize what he meant.

AJ shut his eyes as the light dawned. The rape case. “I understand. Tell her to take care of herself, first. Work comes second to her health and peace of mind.” Damn it, he couldn’t believe this, didn’t want to believe it. “Anything else?”

“No sir.” Harm rose to leave, but the Admiral stopped him.

“Is the colonel coming in today?” AJ was all business again.

“Yes Sir. She should be in shortly.”

“Have her report to me when she gets in. Dismissed”.

“Aye, sir.”

As Harm left the admiral’s office, he heard a muttered “God DAMN it.”

******
Back in his office, Harm breathed a sigh of relief. He had never doubted the admiral’s concern for Mac, but he had not been sure the admiral would keep everything “unofficial”. Mac would be relieved when she came in.

He’d tried to convince her to take a day off, to rest, but she’d insisted on coming in. Of course, that was par for the course. Having won on the big issues, he felt he had to give in on this one. She’d basically agreed to everything he wanted, but it hadn’t been easy for her.

Damn it, he thought, if he could just get his hands on that lousy SOB. He’d still like to take him apart. The pig’s death had been too quick. It should have been long and slow and painful.

He was so focused on thoughts of torture that he didn’t hear the soft knock at his door. Instead, it was Mac’s soft, tentative voice that caught his attention. “Harm?”

“Mac!” Leaping up from his desk, he went around and took her hand. “I didn’t think you’d be in so soon.”

Gently she pulled her hand away, with a small smile to show she wasn’t angry. “Harm, I appreciate everything you’re doing, but you can’t do this at work.”

Embarrassed, he gave her a quick grin, and tried to cover the faux pas with humor. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

She blushed and looked down, obviously unsure as to how to answer his flirtation. There was a time when she would have answered in kind, but it was too much, too soon, he thought, and tried to back out of the awkward situation. “I was just thinking about you, that’s all. I kinda worry about you, you know?”

“I know.” She lifted her eyes to his, but her face was still flushed. “But you can’t do that all the time. I’ll be okay.”

There was a pause as they looked at each other, trying to convey what couldn’t be said. He tried to project all the support he could, and she tried to express appreciation. Finally he broke the silence. “The admiral wants to see you.”

She paled. “Did…did you tell him?”

He hastened to reassure her. “Hey, it’s okay.” Leading her to a chair to sit down before she fell down, he continued, “It went just as we discussed. He knows about my ‘friend’ and wanted me to tell her that work comes second, her health and peace of mind come first. And he was quick to point out that he was sure anyone who knows my ‘friend’ will never lose respect for her.”

She didn’t look reassured. She looked terrified.

“Mac, I promise, it’s okay. Look, he even knows a counselor. He gave me her card.” Digging in his pocket, he handed it to her. “He said he’d seen her before, about some rough times in Vietnam. And he said to tell my friend that everyone needs help sometimes.”

She gave him a wan smile, then straightened her shoulders and stood up. “I guess I’d better go see him.”

Harm watched her go. He’d always known that Mac was strong…that she had guts. But now, he saw that he hadn’t known how strong she really was. She was amazing.

*****

“Colonel Mackenzie reporting as ordered, sir.” Taking refuge in military protocol, she stood at attention in front of him, not meeting his gaze.

“Have a seat, Mac.” He watched with compassionate eyes as she sat down.

“I have a problem, Colonel. One I’m hoping you will be able to assist me with.” It wasn’t easy, but he kept his tone professional.

“Yes sir.” She did manage to meet his eyes briefly as she said this, but looked down almost immediately.

“The JAG Law Revue, Article 51, subsection C needs to be updated. (AN: I made that up-LOL). The particular section in question deals with international weapons accountability, something you have some familiarity with.” Her posture never wavered, but her disappointment was clear.

“Yes sir.” Damn it, she should realize he’s doing this to help her, not to undermine her.

“It would mean a lot of work for you; you’d have to give up your current caseload.” Maybe she will see what he’s trying to do.

“I understand, sir.” She was perfectly composed; she just never looked directly at him. But even without Harm’s explanation of her fears regarding her work, he would have never missed the defeat in her demeanor.

He was trying to decide how to handle the situation when she attempted to draw the meeting to a close. “Will that be all, Sir?”

He made a snap decision then. He couldn’t let her think he didn’t trust her, that he didn’t believe in her or her capabilities. “No, it’s not.”

Rising, he came around and leaned against his desk, facing her. “Mac, look at me.”

Slowly she complied, unable to refuse a direct order. The hurt in her eyes nearly knocked him over. He couldn’t let this go. “I know you might view this as a setback, Mac, or come to the conclusion that I don’t have faith in your abilities.” He paused, giving her the chance to deny it, but she stayed silent. “In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth.”

She still didn’t say anything, but the disbelief showed clearly. Had the situation not been so serious, he would have smiled. She used silence like a weapon. “You are one of the finest officers under my command. Nothing has happened that has changed that opinion. I seriously doubt that anything actually could change that opinion.”

She blinked back sudden tears at his praise, and he smiled gently. “I would be remiss in my duties if I allowed one of my officers to be hurt, physically or mentally, without attempting to get them help, wouldn’t you agree?”

Afraid she would cry, she just nodded.

“And of course, once he or she was healed and ready for full duty, I would certainly be glad to take advantage of that fact. It only makes sense, don’t you think?”

This time she managed to choke out, “Yes sir”.

He stiffened as a disturbing thought occurred to him. “Colonel, when was the last time you had a physical?” Please let her have gone to a doctor.

“Just recently, sir.” She had to look away as she answered.

Suspiciously, he questioned her further. “Your record does not indicate this.”

“It was a private doctor, sir. But I assure you, I’m physically fit for duty. There’s nothing wrong with me.” Her face reddened as she kept her gaze averted.

He watched her closely, then decided she was telling the truth. “Good.” He handed her a stack of files. “Then you can get started on this.”

She took the files and stood. “Yes sir.”

As she started to leave, he stopped her. “And Mac, you are not only a great asset to this office and the Marines, you are a friend.” He reached out and touched her arm, just for a moment. “And as a friend, I’d like you to know that if you need anything, anything at all, my door is always open.”

She did look at him then, and he could see the gratitude in her eyes. “I know, sir. Sometimes, when things are…difficult…it’s easy to lose sight of that. But I won’t, ever again.”

Feeling slightly better, he let her go. “Dismissed, Colonel.”

She snapped to attention. “Aye sir.”

She left, thinking maybe…just maybe…she would get through this after all.

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